Forced Back To Hell
by fictionlove101
Summary: Sequel to 'The Mask Has Fallen'. JJ was just starting to get her life back together and come to terms with the team knowing her big secret. What happens when she's forced to relive her very own hell again? WARNING contains torture, abuse and rape.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N IM BACK!**

**Ok so I've had a lot of people messaging me asking when I'm going to be putting the sequel to 'The Mask Has Fallen' so here it is.**

_**Be warned it will get VERY dark.**_

**I won't be updating it as much as I would like to for a little bit as I am still writing it but once I've finished it, I should update faster.**

**Hope you guys like it!**

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><p>Agent Jennifer Jareau also known as JJ was woken at 9am by the loud beeping of her alarm clock. It was a Sunday Morning and she was due to go to lunch and spend the day shopping with her two best friends Agent Emily Prentiss and Penelope Garcia.<p>

JJ sleepily climbed out of her bed and walked into the small kitchen pouring her self a fresh cup of coffee. She leant against the counter top and gazed out the window of her apartment thinking about the year that had passed.

You see Jennifer Jareau was not the name the blonde was given at birth, she was named Shelby Merrick. JJ didn't have what you'd call a 'normal' childhood, she was abused and raped by her step father for 5 years and when she couldn't take any more JJ ran away. She ended up on the streets and was forced into prostitution; it was the only way she was able to survive. Eventually JJ was found and sent to Mount Horizon. It was a school for troubled and misguided teenagers but in the end she couldn't deal with what had happened to her and what she was, so she ran away from the family she had made and her life to her biological father. That was when Shelby Merrick became Jennifer Jareau.

JJ was brought out of her thought by the buzzing of her phone on the counter top. She gowned.

"Please don't be a case…" JJ sighed and put on the most professional voice she could muster "Agent Jareau."

"Good morning sunshine." A Happy voice beamed down the phone.

"Morning Pen." A smile grew on her face when she realised It was one of her best friends.

"How you doing on this fine day Jayje?" Garcia asked.

"I'm good, just woke up because someone wanted to spend the whole day shopping." A cheeky smirk filled JJ's face.

"Oh don't be like they cupcake its been ages since you, me and Em spent any time together besides I'm treating you to lunch so stop complaining."

"I know, I know." JJ giggled you could almost hear the pout coming from Garcia "So what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were up and to say me and our beautiful brunette will be over in about an hour."

"Ok. I'll see you then."

"Good and make sure your sexy little ass stays out of bed."

"Yes Penelope." JJ chuckled down the phone.

"See you soon sugar."

"Oh Pen…"

"Yeah?"

"No more coffee for you please."

"Cant make a promise like that Jayje, BYE." Garcia yelled down the phone and before JJ could say anything a dial tone rang out in JJ's ear. JJ rolled her eyes and went to get ready.

55 Minutes later JJ was ready and sitting on one of the benches outside her building staring off into space waiting for Garcia's red car to drive up.

In the time that the team had known who JJ really was not much had changed. If anything they had all become closer. They didn't react the way she had always imagined they would. They didn't find her disgusting or dirty, they didn't disown her and they most certainly didn't hate her.

The first few weeks of the teams return from Mount Horizon JJ stayed with Emily till her injuries from the attack had healed more, and then it was a few weeks after that she returned to work. Over the months that passed JJ managed to open up a lot more to the team. When they weren't on a case Emily and Garcia would stay at hers one night a week and watch movies and talk. It was then that JJ started talking to them about her memories before the abuse started and she would fill them in on the mischievous things her and her little sister Jess would get up to. JJ talked to Hotch and Rossi more about her Step father as a means to try and profile him so they could find him as he was still off the grid and she would also answer any question they had about her time on the streets. Hotch also invited JJ to spend time with him and jack, at first she thought it was out of pity and only excepted because she felt she had to but over time she had grown to really care for both the Hotchner men. She talked to Reid about the time she spent at Horizon and the people and things she learnt there, then finally it was Morgan she went to when she couldn't deal with the nightmares on her own anymore. When JJ had a particularly bad nightmare she would call him in the middle of the night and he would be over as fast as he could. Once Morgan got there they would both talk about their dreams and the horrible things that happened to them and eventually fall asleep in each others arms. It did them both the world of good talking about it especially as the other knew what they were going threw.

JJ jumped back to reality when a horn sounded and a bright red convertible pulled up outside the building.

"Ready to do some serious shopping Jayje?" Emily asked handing her a cup of coffee once she climbed in the back.

"Can anyone really be ready to go shopping with Miss Penelope Garcia?" JJ said taking the coffee and Emily nodded and laughed.

"OI! Be nice or that very unflattering picture I have of you at the Christmas party will magically appear on every computer screen at the BAU" Garcia gave JJ a grin in the mirror as she pulled away.

"NOOOOO! You told me you deleted that!" JJ looked devastated.

"I did." Garcia smiled "After I put it on my babies for safe keeping."

JJ gowned and Emily and Garcia burst out laughing

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><p>JJ, Emily and Garcia were sat at a table in a small deli they all loved. They were just finishing they lunch and picking up their many bags when JJ's phone rang. She gave her two friends a worried look as she pulled her phone from her bag.<p>

"Agent Jareau…yes hello…Right…ok…yes…no…I did…Ok we will be there as soon as I gather the team…Ok Thankyou." JJ hung up the phone and gave both Emily and Garcia apologetic looks "Sorry ladies were going to have to put this shopping trip on hold."

Emily let out a low grown and Garcia sighed as she pulled out her car keys. The blonde, brunette and the red head made their way to the car and drive to the BAU but what the three women didn't realise was that they had been followed all morning.

'You are just simply perfect' he thought to himself as he watches the red car drive into the FBI building 'We'll be together soon and this time you wont get away. I'll see you when you get back Kitten. Then we can have our fun again.' That was when the beat up old van drove to its next destination to pick up the things that were needed.

oOo

5 days later Garcia stood next to the glass doors in the BAU waiting for the lift to open to reveal her team. It had been a long and hard case filled with corpses of young women and a rather nasty Unsub but the team had manager to trick the man out and he was arrested before anymore girls were hurt.

The lift doors pinged open and 6 tired looking team members walked out holding bags and files.

"Hello beautiful crime fighters" Garcia walked up to them and took the bag JJ was holding "Its good to have you back."

Morgan kissed her on the head "it's good to be back baby girl." He smiled.

"I was thinking it's been a few weeks since we all went out together so maybe we could go for some drinks." Garcia gave them all a bright smile.

"Now there's an idea I can't say no too." Morgan said.

"I'm in." Emily walked threw the glass doors with them all following.

"I don't know." JJ wasn't sure; she had an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach all day.

"I don't think it's a bad idea. We could all use some chill out time." Rossi dropped his go bag by Emily's desk.

"But what about the paper work?" Reid asked.

"You only want to do it because it'll only take you 20 minutes kid but for the rest of us we will be stuck here for a good 2 hours." Morgan ruffled Reid's hair.

"Don't worry about the paper work; you can all do it on Monday." Hotch walked up to his office. When he reached the door he turned round "I think we should all go. I'll be ready in 10 I just have to make sure Jessica is ok with Jack."

"YAY team party!" Garcia jumped up and down.

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><p><strong>AN So i just wanted to get a little bit into what they had all been up to in the past year and it should start to get into the actual story in the next few chapters.**

**REVIEW and i'll send love!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N only got a few reviews for the first chapter but its understandable i guess as it wasnt very exiting but i hope this one is better.**

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><p>45 minutes later the entire BAU team were sat in a booth at a bar they all went to frequently.<p>

"Ok who's getting the first round?" Morgan rubbed his hands together.

"You!" All the other members of the team said in unison with matching smiles on their faces.

"What?" When Morgan received a slap on the arm and a 'deal with it' smirk from JJ he stood up "Fine. What's everyone having? The usual?" everyone nodded and Morgan left the table only to return 10 minutes later with a tray fill of drinks.

Another round of drinks and a much needed laugh later Garcia put her purse on the table and stood up.

"So who's coming to shake their thing with me?"

"I'll come and dance with you baby girl." Morgan grabbed her hand and span Garcia on the spot.

"Oh my stack of chocolate thunder, trying to get me all hot and flustered are you?"

"I try every damn day baby girl." Morgan winked at her. Their playful flirting wasn't new to the team and they all smiled the two best friends.

"Anyone else coming?" Garcia asked the rest of the team as Morgan tried to pull her away to the dance floor.

"No, go and have fun." Emily watched Morgan and Garcia walk a bit further away before she shouted "And watch where Morgan is putting his hands Pen."

"He can put his hands anywhere he wants." Garcia yelled back. JJ and Emily burst out laughing, Hotch and Rossi smiled and Reid just looked confused.

"What's so funny?"

Rossi put his hand on Reid's shoulder "Never mind kid. Don't let them corrupt your mind."

"What did we do?" JJ asked once she managed to stop laughing.

"It was all them." Emily said. Both women pretended to look hurt.

For a while they sat at the table talking and laughing at Morgan and Garcia dancing on the floor that was until JJ's phone rang. Hotch and Rossi both frowned. Emily and Reid looked at her worried, they all knew that the only reason she would be getting a call this time of night would be if a case was really bad or it was a personal call but by the look on JJ's face when she looked at the screen it was nothing personal.

"Who is it Jayje?" Emily asked.

"I don't know. I don't recognise the number." She got up from her seat "its too loud in here I'm going to take it outside, I'll be back in a minute."

"Ok do you want me to come with you?" Emily asked rising from her seat now.

"No, its fine, stay here and don't let Pen touch my drink." JJ gave them a smile and headed for the door. She accepted the call quickly "One minute please" she quickly pressed hold on her screen and walked out the door.

Once JJ reached the street it was still to noisy so she made her way round to the almost abandoned car park on the side of the bar where the SUV's were parked and a few other cars and vans. She reached a quite spot and took her call off hold.

"Agent Jareau…" JJ's voice was back to her formal, work place voice. The one she used when talking to the media or other officers of the law. When JJ didn't receive any answer she tried again.

"Agent Jareau, how can I help?"

After another few seconds know one had spoken down the end of the phone but she could hear breathing. It sounded rusty and deep and sent cold shivers down her spine.

"Good evening Agent." The voice came all of a sudden.

JJ's heart sank; it was the voice that filled her nightmares, the voice that had once destroyed her.

"No…" JJ whispered down the phone fear and shock filled her whole body, if her legs hadn't turned to jelly and her hands hadn't started to shake JJ would have ran back to the team. She quickly hung up and pressed speed dial number 2 on her phone.

It rang for a few seconds then a voice that clamed JJ slightly filled her ears.

"JJ are you ok?" Emily sounded worried.

"Its him Em, He's here, He's come back." JJ's voice was shaking.

"What?" Emily now to was starting to get panicked "JJ where are you?"

"In the car park. He's come back for me Em." JJ was looking round wide eyed.

"Ok JJ I want you to run back to the bar, Were all on the way to you. Ok?"

Before JJ could answer she felt a warm breath on the back of her neck.

"JJ!" Emily was shouting down the phone still connected to JJ's ear. A hand wrapped its self round JJ; it pulled the phone from her ear and spoke into the speaker.

"She belongs to me again." The hand let go of JJ's but she kept it by the side of her face, she was too scared to even flinch.

"Hello kitten." The voice behind JJ made bile to rise from her stomach.

"NO! JJ can you hear me?" Emily's voice came from the phone.

JJ found her feet again and quickly turned round to confirm her worst fears and they were indeed confirmed but before JJ could fight or yell for help a needle pierced her neck and her whole body went limp causing JJ to drop her phone on the ground. She tried to fight to darkness that was filling her vision but she was having no luck. It was to strong. She could feel that man lift her small body in his arms and place her on a cold metal floor in the back of a van.

Before JJ could register anything else her world was plunged into darkness.

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><p>Just as JJ was walking out of the door to the bar Morgan and Garcia came back to the table.<p>

"Where did Jayje go?" Garcia asked sipping her drink.

"She got a call." Emily sighed.

"It's not work is it?" The red head asked as Morgan sighed.

"I don't know, but she didn't recognise the number."

"Great." Morgan ran a hand over his head. The case they had just finished had been tough and exhausting. They all really a needed a few days off to recover from all the stress and horrible things they had seen.

A few minutes later Emily's phone rang and she looked at it slightly confused.

"Who is it Prentiss?" Hotch asked.

"It's JJ…"

"Maybe something's wrong." Reid said.

Emily shrugged and answered it "JJ are you ok?" Emily sounded worried as she looked at the others concerned. Then the words that filled Emily with fear came from the phone.

"Its him Em, He's here, He's come back." JJ's voice was shaking and you didn't need to look at her to know she was scared.

"What?" Emily stood from her seat.

"What's wrong?" Rossi asked as all the others stood too knowing something was not right.

Emily placed her hand over the microphone "Its Walt, she said he was back"

"Where is she?" Morgan asked ready to run to the door.

Emily took her hand of the microphone "JJ where are you?"

"In the car park. He's come back for me Em." JJ whispered and Emily mouthed 'car park' to the rest of the team. It didn't even take a second for Morgan, Reid, Hotch and Rossi to grab their guns and everyone including Garcia to run out of the bar.

"Ok JJ I want you to run back to the bar, Were all on the way to you. Ok?" but when JJ didn't answer Emily yelled to the others "Something's happening" If it was possible they all ran faster threw the crowded bar not worrying if they knocked people over.

"JJ!" Emily yelled but still got no answer, till a cold voice whispered down the phone.

"She belongs to me again." she could then hear a slight mumbling coming from the other end but couldn't make out what else was being said.

"NO! JJ can you hear me?" there was still no answer as they ran out of the bar.

More fear struck Emily as there was a loud thud and the phone went dead "JJ!" Emily yelled.

Emily looked at the phone as they were all still running and saw that the call had been disconnected. Emily cursed under her breath and grabbed her gun.

They all reached the end of the building and turned into the car park. Morgan narrowly missed being hit by a van on the way. When they did finally reach it JJ was gone and all that was left was her smashed mobile phone on the ground.

"No" Garcia cried and buried her head in her hands.

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><p><strong>AN REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW and get my muse working faster!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N SORRY i ment to get this up yesterday but i didnt get the chance. i know its not as long as the others sorry again :S**

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><p>Back at the BAU Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Morgan, Emily and Garcia were sat round the table going over the evidence they had just received. It was 6am and sun was beginning to rise. JJ had been missing for just over 8 hours and the only solid thing they had was that it was JJ's step father Walt that had taken her.<p>

There was a loud knock on the closed door that made everyone jump and look up from their folders or computer screens.

"Come in." Hotch called.

"Sir" It was Agent Anderson with a small package in his hand "I have the CCTV from the bar and the building next door."

"Thankyou Agent." Hotch said nodding to the man. Garcia almost jumped on the man as she went for the CD's.

Anderson left the room as Garcia started going threw the footage.

"Oh my girl…" Garcia whimpered from her seat in front of the laptop.

"What you got baby girl?" Morgan asked sipping his 4th cup of coffee.

"All of it." Garcia looked at him with teary eyes "Everything, I have a full view of him sneaking up behind our girl and lifting her into a van."

"Put it on the screen Garcia." Rossi asked and with in seconds the CCTV footage was being played on the large screen behind her.

They saw the older man sneak up behind her and whisper something into her ear. Then they watched JJ being injected with something, drop her phone on the floor, then be carried into the back of a beat up old van. Finally they watched the van pull out of the car park and almost hit Morgan as he ran round the corner.

They all sat in silence and watched it 3 times before anyone said anything.

"I could have had him." Morgan whispered his voice sounded broken.

"Don't do that Morgan. Don't blame your self for this." Emily stated stubbornly.

"But…"

"No Derek. We all knew he was still out there but it's been a year, we all thought he had gone into hiding." Emily rubbed his arm trying to comfort him.

"But he wasn't in hiding was he? He was biding his time till we all let our guards down and he could get his hands on her." Reid didn't even look up from the file he was reading for the 6th time.

"Ok that's enough." Hotch stood from his chair "We are going to find her and were not taking another case until we have JJ back. Once we do we are going to make that monster pay once and for all for all the things he did to her." To the two eldest men of the BAU team JJ was like a daughter to them and it made their skin crawl to think of anyone hurting her anymore.

"Hotch is right. We have to concentrate on finding them and getting JJ home safe." It was Rossi's words that filled the others with the determination that was needed.

"Garcia go over the CCTV and see if you can get a number plate of the van then do what you have to do." Garcia started tapping away at lightning speed blocking out the fear and worry she was feeling "Emily, Morgan go to JJ's apartment have a look round for anything that might indicate where he could have taken her." With out a word Morgan and Emily walked out the room "Reid what does the file say?"

"The drug JJ was injected with was Ketamine, which is easy to get on the streets and the blood on the needle is JJ's but we knew that. The phone used to call JJ was a burn phone so there is nothing there."

"Ok…" Hotch ran a hand threw his hair.

"I can't find anything of the CCTV from the car park, I can't get a good angle of the number plate and I followed the van threw town but I lost it after a few miles. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it's ok. Go over JJ's phone records, emails and her credit cards for the last year see if anything odd has come up." Rossi put a reassuring hand on Garcia's shoulder as she continued tapping away.

"Reid stay and help Garcia. Rossi come with me." Hotch walked out of the round room and headed towards his office.

Rossi walked in and closed the door behind him.

"What are we going to do?" Rossi asked taking a seat on the small couch.

"JJ has kept in contact Peter and Sophie since we left and I'm thinking she might have said something about her childhood before Walt started…Well you know. Something she hasn't told any of us"

"So you're going to call them and ask."

"Yes."

"But its 6:30 in the morning."

"I know. Peter said when we left last year to call his mobile if there was ever an emergency and I think this is classed as one don't you?" Rossi just nodded and Hotch picked up the phone on his desk.

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><p>When JJ woke, she didn't know where she was and couldn't remember what she was doing there. She had no idea why her head felt so fuzzy and why her body felt so heavy. She didn't understand why she was so cold, and she had no idea why it was so dark.<p>

What Jennifer Jareau did know, was that she was in serious trouble.

She knew the man had taken her, no not man he was a monster, a paedophile, he is the reason her baby sister was dead. JJ knew he had drugged her, she could vaguely remember the sting of a needle sticking her neck but what with? And she didn't want to think about the reason he had taken her.

Where was here? The only light in the room was a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The light from it didn't even reach the four corners of the room. From what JJ could see she was in a small room, the concrete cinderblocks that made up the walls were old and dirty looking. In the wall to JJ's right was a door way, but the door was no ordinary door, it wasn't wood like you world expect, it was a metal bar door much like the ones you get in jail cells. But what JJ feared the most about this room was the old metal framed bed in the centre of the room. It looked far from clean as did the rest of the room. JJ could feel the cold hard concrete against her back, she tried to feel about a bit, but their was wire round each of her wrists preventing her from moving, she had no way of moving properly.

She could feel her eyes fill with thick tears of fear but JJ wouldn't let them fall, she was going to use every bit of strength she could muster to not let this monster see her cry.

She struggled against the wire around her wrists for a while, even when she felt the burning and first trickle of blood slide down her arm JJ didn't stop. She struggled uselessly for a few more minutes and cried out frustrated, JJ knew in her heart she knew she was well and truly stuck.

After what felt to JJ like hours the silence of the room was driving her mad she didn't want him to know she was awake but she needed to do something, anything to get free from his clutches. So she yelled. She yelled and she screamed and she cried aloud for help. For anyone to rescue her.

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><p><strong>AN REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW and get my muse working faster!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N ive gotton some brilliant reviews! So happy you all like it!**

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><p>At mid day Morgan and Emily walked back into the bullpen after spending the morning at JJ's home.<p>

"Did you find anything?" Hotch asked standing next to Reid's desk.

"Nothing helpful." Morgan ran a hand over his head.

"Although we did find a box full of old photos under her bed." Emily said pulling a small pile of pictures from her pocket and holding them out for someone to take.

"What are they off?" Reid asked as Hotch looked through them.

"By the looks of things of them, their all from before JJ was abused." Hotch answered with his brow close together.

"That's what they are. They box we found them in had 'My childhood'

Written on the top in bright coloured marker pen." Emily sat in one of the seats. As hard as she tried not to all she could think about was what Walt was doing to JJ in that second.

"There are dates and ages of each person on the back of most of them. None of the ages of JJ or well Shelby go past 9." Morgan said.

"That makes sense." Reid said now looking over Hotch's shoulder at the pictures.

"What do you mean?" Garcia asked with confusion.

"None of the pictures of past the age of 9 because JJ believes her childhood ended on her 10th birthday at the hands of her step-father."

"Oh." Garcia nodded her head in understanding and forced the tears back that threatened to fall. She still found it hard to except that her strong and innocent best friend was once an abused run away.

"What did Peter say Hotch?" Emily asked.

"JJ hadn't mentioned anything in the past year and he couldn't remember her saying anything about she was abused when she was at Horizon but he's going to ask Sophie and the old Cliffhangers and call me back." Emily nodded.

The room filled with silence as they were all lost in their own thoughts about what they could do next. Rossi was looking through the pictures when he came across a certain one. Shelby and Jess were stood in the in the centre of the picture with their mother's arms wrapped tightly round them both. It looked like the three of them were in some type of woods with a tent to their right and what looked like the edge of a lake to their left. He turned it over and read what it said.

'Shelby (age 9), Jess (age 4) and mummy at Prince William Forest Park on family holiday'

"She looks so happy." Rossi stuck the single picture up on the pin board next to the picture of a brightly smiling JJ Garcia had from her office.

"Yeah she does. I don't understand how anyone could hurt someone so innocent." Emily said from her seat.

Although none of them would admit it they had never really had the old JJ back. She was getting there but still had a way to go. But this was going to push her further away from them and it would talk even longer to find her again.

"Baby girl did you find anything in JJ phone records?" Morgan asked Garcia as he pulled her into a comforting hug.

"No, there was nothing out of the normal. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Garcia. Can you find me JJ's mothers address please; I want to talk to her." Hotch checked the time on his watch "Emily, if she doesn't live to far away I want you to come with me to talk to her."

"Why don't you do it over the phone? It'll take less time." Reid asked.

"Because we can't make a profile of her and tell if she's lying over the phone."

Right ok." Reid went back to reading the file in front of him again.

"While were gone I want the rest of you to do what ever you can, even the smallest bit of information could help, also get things ready for a press conference. If we can't get anything of Alice then we'll do it when Emily and I get back."

"She lives at the same address Hotch." Garcia said still tapping away at her computer "And I've just sent it to your phones."

"Ok. We will be back in the morning and keep in contact all of you."

Without another word Hotch and Emily left the room and headed for the car park.

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><p>After a while JJ gave up screaming and shouting for help and fell into a light fearful sleep waking whenever she heard a noise. After what felt like hours and most likely was she was woken by hard shoes knocking against cold hard floor. JJ pulled her knees up to her chest to try and protect herself from what ever was about to come. The foot steps were getting closer and closer until they stopped.<p>

JJ saw his cold hard eyes staring down on her threw the metal bars that made up the door.

"Well good Morning Kitten."

If JJ thought things were bad now they were about to get a whole lot worse. JJ sent a silent pray to whoever could hear, she needed her team to find her before she breaks.

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><p><strong>AN that was painfully short so i will give you another one later today, well i'll try to. **

**REVIEW and get my muse working faster she is a little stuck at the minute...**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N SEE i said i'd get you another one today!**

**WARNING there is some naughty words in this chapter**

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><p>"Well good morning Kitten." Walt unlocked her cell door and walked in closing it behind him "How are you this morning."<p>

JJ clamped her jaw closed and refused to answer the old man standing in front of her.

"Just as stubborn as always." He made his way across the room to where JJ was sat on the floor. Walt crouched down in front of the blonde and ran one of his cold hard hands up and down her leg.

JJ tried to suppress the shiver that ran threw her body from his touch be it was still noticeable. She was trying to act tough and let him know that she wasn't scared of him but deep down JJ was completely the opposite. She was petrified of the man in front of her. He took away everything she had as a child and she knew he was going to try to do it again.

"I'll ask you again. How are you this morning?" His voice was more of a growl now as he kept rubbing his hand over JJ's leg.

JJ glared at him still not answering.

Walt forcefully grabbed hold of JJ's ankle and straightened out her right leg. With his hand still on her ankle Walt moved his free hand up to her inner thigh and started running his hand up to her core.

"I knew spending so much time with those people you call friends would be bad for you. You've forgotten all those things I taught you, but don't worry Kitten I'll teach you again. Now your first lesson." His hand reached the crotch of her jeans and he started to stroke her threw the material "When I ask you a question you will answer it. I don't want our first time after all these years to be horrible, but if I have to force it I will and I will make it hurt. You have enough punishment coming your way for shooting me and the way you spoke to your mother and me." His stroking got harder and tears were filling JJ's eyes. She couldn't believe she was letting this happen to her again "So…How are you this morning?"

JJ didn't say anything again. She could see more anger fill his eyes. The hand that was rubbing her stopped and moved up to the button of her jeans.

"My head hurts." JJ blurted out as Walt un-popped the button.

"Come again?" Walt smirked. There was now a look of joy on his face from the fact that he had won this round.

"My head hurts and I could do with a glass of water." Walt raised an eye brow.

"We raised you better than that." JJ wanted to yell at him that he didn't raise her but she didn't want to anger him more.

"Please can I have a glass of water?"

"There's a good girl." Walt pattered her on the head much like a dog and stood up "I'll be back with your water in a few minutes. I have to make a phone call first."

Walt winked at JJ and walked out of the door locking it behind him. He knew there was no way she would get free with the wire tightly round her wrists but he didn't want to take the chance.

Walt walked down the corridor of the cold bunker and turned into the only remaining room in the corridor. It looked almost exactly the same as the other but this one had more light. The bed was to one side of the room, above the bed the wall was covered with pictures of a young Shelby and an older JJ. Next to the bed stood a large fridge and opposite it lay 2 tables. The first had laptops, all kinds of computer equipment and also recording equipment. The second table held many different types of knifes, sex toys and a wide range of torture devices. Below the table sat a box filled with ropes and chains.

Walt walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and grabbed his phone which sat on top.

He dialled a familiar number and waited for the other person to pick up.

"Hello?" A deep voice answered the phone.

"Mitch? It's Walt."

"Alright mate, what can I do for ya?" Mitch asked.

"I got her. She's here" A massive smile crossed his face and he rubbed his groin with the back of his hand to try and reduce the stiffness of his member.

"Really? Have you tried her out yet?"

"No I want to get the recording stuff set up first. Can you give me a hand?"

"Sure, but what's in it for me?" Mitch asked with curiosity.

"I think you'll find you still owe me?"

"C'mon let it rest man, that was years ago. Let me screw her."

"No. After you do this you owe me nothing else." Walt was determined to not let anyone else but him touch his special girl in that way ever again.

"I want to meet her before I leave though."

Walt sighed "Of course you can, I'll even let you stand behind the camera and watch."

"Ok I'll be there in a few hours." You could hear Mitch grin as he spoke.

"Ok." Walt hung up the phone.

He threw the phone on the bed, then stood and walked over to the table and picked up a switch blade slipping it into his pocket.

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><p>JJ watched Walt as he locked the door behind him and walked out of sight. When she was sure he was gone she let the tears that were threaten to spill finally fall. JJ pulled her knees back up and sobbed into them, she didn't want to be a victim again, and she didn't want to be Shelby again.<p>

JJ sucked in a deep breath and forced the tears away. She wasn't going to let him win and most of all JJ wasn't going to break. She was going to hold out till her team found her. JJ was going to stay strong and fight.

After a while Walt came back into room again. He had a bottle of water in his hand.

"Stand up" Walt ordered stepping in front of JJ.

"No." Was all JJ said from her spot on the floor.

"Don't start misbehaving now Kitten. Stand up."

When JJ didn't move Walt grabbed a hand full of her blonde hair and pulled her up. JJ let out a gasp when she felt his tight grip. She was determined to use all her strength not to yell out in pain.

"I really am going to have train you from the beginning again aren't I?"

"You can do all you want. I'm not scared of you anymore." Although JJ's voice was strong and steady her eyes betrayed her. You could see the fear in them.

"I bet you wish that were true." Walt opened the bottle of water but instead of letting JJ sip it like she had asked he poured it over her head causing the liquid to run down her hair and over her light blue blouse "I do like a good wet t-shirt contest" Walt chuckled and threw the bottle behind him.

"Lets take these wet cloths of you shall we?" Walt stepped closer but only manager to undo one of JJ's shirt buttons before her knee made hard contact with his groin "FUCKING BITCH!" Walt stepped back and yelled at JJ.

Once he had recovered from JJ's forceful kick he threw his body against hers and wrapped one hand round her throat while the other pulled out a flick knife from his pocked.

"Your going to regret that Kitten." Walt growled.

With his hand still wrapped round JJ's throat he placed the tip of the blade at the top opening of her shirt and in one quick motion pulling it down ripping the buttons away and slightly cutting JJ's skin in a few places.

The hand round her neck was tight but not tight enough to completely block her airway. As the blade cut her skin JJ winced slightly but she managed to hide it from Walt well.

Once the last button was cut off and fell to the floor her light blue shirt fell either side of her breasts to reveal an also light blue lacy bra.

A creepy smile crossed Walt's face and he lent down and whispered in JJ's ear.

"Just as perfect as always Kitten."

"Get off me." JJ growled.

"But I don't want to and you…love…it…so…much." He sucked on JJ's ear lobe between each word causing her body to shiver involuntary.

"No. I. Don't." JJ wasn't going to let this happen again she was going to fight with all she had in her. Walt looked in her eyes as she continued to speak "I don't love it, I hate it. I hate your dirty fingers on my body. You disgust me. How could I ever love a man that hurt me? You beat me and raped me day in and day out for years and when you couldn't have me you went after Jess. You're a paedophile and you can rot in hell BUSTARD!" With JJ's last word she head butted Walt in the nose. As she made contact you could hear it break and instantly blood started poring from it.

Walt dropped the knife on the floor and held his nose "THAT'S IT!" He yelled and his fist made contact with JJ's cheek.

"I was going to make it special and genital but it looks like you asking for pain so you're going to get it. You always were an ungrateful child. Stropping round all the time when I was just trying to make you my special little girl. Now you get to be my special little whore instead!" Walt's fist came in contact the side of JJ's chest this time.

JJ felt the wind get knocked out of her and she felt a few ribs crack with the impact but Walt didn't stop. He kept hitting her, on her face, her chest, stomach, and kicking her legs. Any place Walt could land a punch or a kick he did.

Gasps and small yelps of pain were all that left JJ's mouth after the 3rd or 4th hit to her head a dark cloud started to fill JJ's vision and her head was spinning. On the last punch to her head JJ was struggling to stay conscious.

Walt stepped back to admire the damage he had caused. JJ's face was already starting to burse in some places and there were also some bruises forming on her stomach. She had cuts all over her body where his ring had ripped her skin.

"Right now you know your place let's finish getting these cloths off you."

Walt picked the flip knife up of the floor and cut away JJ's trousers reviling light blue lacy pants that matched her bra and the rest of her shirt. She tried to stay conscious and tried not to focus on the pain that was now ripping threw her body but as the seconds went on she was finding it harder and harder.

The room filled with what sounded like someone knocking on a metal door.

JJ watched Walt pick up her wet and blood stained cloths and walk out of the room this time leaving the door open.

The last thing JJ heard was the muttering to two voices before she gave in to unconsciousness.

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><p><strong>AN Make me a happy girl beautifal people and review...please *puppy dog eyes***


	6. Chapter 6

Walt walked down the dark concrete corridor that lead to a set of wooden steps. He climbed the steps to a hatch and pulled back the bolt that was keeping it locked. As he lifted the lid to his very own underground dungeon the sun poured in through the trees.

Walt climbed out of the hatch and was greeted by a man that looked much like he did except this man was looked scarier than Walt. He had wide shoulders and chest and could give Morgan a run for him money in the ring.

"Found this place alright then?" Walt asked as he shook Mitch's hand.

"How could I forget this place?" Mitch chuckled back.

They both spend the next 10 minutes reminiscing on the times they were in the Marine's and the training missions they had in the bunker JJ was being held captive in.

"So how is she?"

"She out cold." Walt said angrily.

"Oh?"

"The little slut needed teaching a lesson for her smart mouth. She used to be such a sweet girl and I loved the little bit of fight she had in her back then but I spent years loving her and months trying to get her back it is unacceptable for her to talk back." Walt turned and headed back to the bunker closely followed by Mitch "I'm not going to let her ruin what were going to have. If she wants to fight me, she can but I'm going to win. I always win"

"Fair enough." Mitch said gathering up the computer equipment that he would need "Right. Let's get this stuff set up so you can get this show on the road."

"She's in the next room."

Walt and Mitch walked into the next room to find JJ still crouched down on the floor and unconscious.

"Didn't fancy locking the door then?" Mitch tipped his head to the metal railings door that had been left wide open.

"Why? She's not going anywhere."

"True." Mitch chuckled "Where do you want this set up?"

"I only need a few pictures and a quick recording so set it up on the bed facing her."

Mitch nodded his head and started plugging things into the laptop resting on the edge of the bed.

Walt walked up to a still unconscious JJ. As he was beating her earlier JJ moved down to the floor to try and protect her small body from the vicious blows that kept coming and that's where she was still positioned on the floor. Her arms over her head and body and her knees pulled up to her chest.

Walt grabbed a hand full of her hair dirty blonde hair and sat her up. Whilst he was still holding her hair he gave JJ a few hard slaps round the face.

JJ could feel fresh stings on her cheeks which stirred her out of unconsciousness, she kept her eyes closed as she came round hoping and begging that what had happened was in fact a horrible nightmare. With another hard slap round her face JJ groaned and slowly opened her eyes being slightly blinded but the dim light.

"Nice sleep kitten?" Walt smirked as he stroked JJ's soft, bruised and bloody cheek.

JJ flinched away from his touch and moved her head from his hand. He grabbed hold of her slightly swollen jaw and pulled her face towards his.

"Don't disrespect me" Walt growled.

"Get your disgusting hands of me!" JJ then spat in his face again. Her spit mixed with blood hit him square in the forehead.

As soon as it hit him JJ regretted it. His hand moved from her chin and slid down to her throat. His grip went from gentle to a tight squeeze in a matter of seconds. It wasn't till her vision started to go dark and her lungs burnt that she really started to fight him and Walt let go.

As his hand realised, JJ took a much needed deep breath and couched when it burnt her lungs more.

"Feisty little bitch isn't she?"

JJ didn't realise there was someone else in the room till he spoke. It took a few seconds for her vision to come back and once it did JJ noticed another man in the room standing by the bed next to a laptop and camera.

"You told me she was a good little girl." The man looked at Walt and laughed.

"She was. Then she decided to run away from the only person that ever loved her." Walt scowled walking over to the man.

"You" JJ was struggling to recover from Walt's hand round her throat. Her voice was raspy and it hurt to talk "You ne…never loved me. I was just sex to you." JJ was over come by a coughing fit that felt like razors in her throat.

"Oh I loved you Kitten, I still do. You just need to realise where your place is again."

"Where's that then?" The other man chuckled.

Walt walked over to JJ, he knelt down in front of her, placed his hands on the wall either side of JJ's head and forced his lips onto hers. He forced his way past her lips and slipped his tongue into JJ's mouth.

JJ felt her stomach churned when his lips met hers. She tried to pull away from his but once she hit the wall her head had nowhere to go. As his kiss became more forceful JJ's eyes filled with tears she told her self to not let them fall, to keep them in but as his tongue forced its way into her mouth that the first tear slipped down her cheek making a small clear path of skin as the salty fluid cleaned away the dirt and blood. Just before Walt broke away from her a bright flash filled the room. Walt pulled away but not before he nibbled on JJ's bottom lip one last time.

"You belong underneath me." Walt whispered just loud enough for JJ and the other man to hear.

When Walt moved back a little she noticed the other man crouched down next to her on her right, He had a camera in his hands and he was showing Walt the picture he had just taken. Walt looked at it and a creepy smile crossed his face.

"It's a good one to send you friends." Walt grabbed the camera and showed JJ the picture.

Only the side of JJ's face was visible, you could see the fear and tears in her eye and the single one slipping down her cheek. It was also very clear to see that Walt was enjoying the kiss way too much and he had his tongue in her mouth. JJ had to take a few deep breaths to stop her self from vomiting.

"Lets get on with this then shall we?" Walt stood and started to take Pictures of JJ on the cold floor.

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><p><strong>AN Then next chapter is one of my fav's. i know this chapter might have seemed a little odd to some of you but i needed Mitch for later chapters and i wanted to put him in eariler in the story.**

**Please everyone let me know what you think, i would love to know x**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N this one has some naughty words in it too.**

**READ ON!...**

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><p>It was late evening when Hotch and Emily pulled up to the old house they had almost a year before. In that year a lot had changed. They now knew what JJ had kept a secret from them for years and they knew what nightmares the house before them held.<p>

"Let's get this over with." Hotch walked round to the other side of the car where Emily was standing staring up at the house.

"I can't stand this woman." Emily spat glaring at the house "She knew what that bustard was doing to Jayje and Jess and she didn't do a damn thing to stop him. What kind of mother dose that to her children. I know my mother and I were never close when I was a child but I do know she wouldn't have just stood by if someone was hurting me."

"Breath Emily. You're rambling" Hotch sighed. The team including himself hadn't been this worried since they found out about JJ actually being Shelby.

"I'm sorry." Emily turned to look at her boss, their eyes met and Hotch could see the unshed tears in them "I'm scared Hotch, what if we don't find her."

That statement shocked Hotch, both Emily and JJ were they teams rocks and to see this strong and independent woman admit she was scared meant she really was absolutely petrified.

Hotch put a reassuring hand on Emily's shoulder as she wiped away the unshed tears "We will and when we do, were not letting her out of our sights."

"She won't like that much." Emily let out a small laugh.

"I don't care. She can scream, kick and protest all she wants, were not loosing her again." Hotch smiled at Emily and gave her shoulder one last squeeze before walking towards the house with Emily meeting his strides next to him.

Just as they reached the bottom of the steps leading to the house the front door flew open and Alice Blaine glared at both agents.

"What do you want?" She growled in a cold voice.

Emily looked at Hotch shocked and he took the lead.

"I take it you remember us then Mrs Blaine?" Hotch held out his hand for Alice to shake but she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yes I remember, you and your team intruded on my daughters funeral."

"With all due respect ma'ma we were all there to support your other daughter." They had only been talking for 30 seconds but the woman that didn't share much resemblance to JJ standing before them was truly pissing Hotch off.

"I have no more daughters." Alice went to slam the door closed but Emily's foot was in the way "Excuse me but I think were finished." Alice went to close the door again but Emily refused to move.

"No we have not. Your daughter has been taken by your husband. Myself and Agent Hotchner are not leaving till you have answered our questions and if you don't answer them I will arrest you for interfering in a federal case." Emily growled still holding the door open.

Alice looked at Hotch waiting for him to discipline his agent but Hotch didn't move and if she knew him well enough; which she didn't, she would have noticed the small smile that crossed his face.

"Fine, I'll answer your questions then I want you both to leave and not come back." Mrs Blaine stood in the door way refusing to let the agents into her home.

"Gladly." Emily muttered.

"When was the last time you saw your husband?" Hotch asked.

Alice huffed "A few weeks after I came home from that school. He came to pick up some of his things. He had a nasty bullet wound in his shoulder"

Emily had to take a few deep breaths to stop herself from hitting the woman standing in front of her.

"You knew the FBI was looking for him and you didn't think to let us know?" Hotch asked not looking at all impressed.

"Didn't cross my mind." Alice smirked.

"Where was he staying and who with?" Hotch asked.

"I don't know." Alice rolled her eyes.

"Do you know where he could have taken her?"

"Nope." Alice lent against the door frame. Out the corner of his eye Hotch could see Emily clench and unclench her fists getting ready to punch the woman.

"What about…." Hotch was about to answer another question when Emily interrupted him.

"How could you let him hurt her like that?" Emily spat.

"We all have to do things in life we don't like but we have to deal with it. Its part of growing up."

"She was 10 years old when he first raped her!" Emily yelled. Hotch reached out and grabbed her arm signalling for her to calm down.

"She should have accepted it instead of running away and because she did he want after my baby girl. If the little whore hadn't have run Jess would still be alive."

"JJ was your baby too!"

"Shelby was my little girl until she turned into his nasty whore."

Hotch could see tears of anger fill Emily's eyes and thought it was time to end this.

"Enough." He whispered in Emily's ear, He knew how hard this was for her and he didn't blame her for shouting at the horrid woman in front of them. Emily looked at him as a tear slipped from her eye. Emily just turned and waited for Hotch at the bottom of the steps.

"One last question Mrs Blaine, How did you and Mr Blaine meet?" Hotch asked before walking away to join Emily.

"He moved out here after he left the Marines and got a job at the bar I was working at. Done?" Alice tapped her foot impatiently.

"Yes." Hotch glared at the woman.

"Good" Alice went to close the door but stopped "Oh and that little slut deserve's everything she gets and more." Then she slammed the door in his faces.

Hotch took a frustrated breath and joined Emily at the bottom of the steps.

Emily was stood there staring at the ground. She had tears streaming down her face and her hand was clutching the necklace round her neck that JJ had given her for her birthday a few months before.

Hotch wrapped his arm round Emily's waist and guided her back to the car.

Other than the phone call he gave the team to see if they had any leads they both drove back to the BAU in complete silence.

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><p>After many photos, a short video and a few more punches and slaps later. The man who JJ now knew Mitch and Walt were packing away the computer equipment. Walt put the DVD and photos in an envelope and passed it to Mitch's gloved hand. They didn't want to get any of his finger prints on it as they didn't want the risk of being found.<p>

"I'll post it when I leave and they should get it by morning." Mitch gave Walt a dirty grin and walked out of the bunker giving JJ one last creepy, lustful look before he turned into the corridor.

Both Walt and JJ didn't move or say anything till they heard the hatch slam closed.

He took a few steps and stood in front of JJ. She was shaking from the cold and fear that was running threw her body. She was trapped in a room with her nightmare and was being forced back to the hell she endured as a child.

"It's just you and me again kitten." Walt tucked a stray bit of JJ's blonde hair behind her ear.

"Stay away from me." JJ tried again to hide the fear in her voice.

"Now don't be like that, were going to have some fun just like when you were younger. You loved our special time so much."

"No I didn't." JJ was shocked by his statement "I tried to push you away, I fought. I cried and begged you to stop but you didn't."

"Shhhh" Walt put a finger to JJ's lips to get her to stop talking "Hush not Kitten and do as you're told."

"No!" JJ kicked out at him with the little energy she had left but he saw it coming and managed to side step her foot.

"Fine." He wrapped his hand round JJ's throat again and squeezed "Have it your way."

Her throat was burning from the restriction, as where her lungs from the lack of oxygen. Walt fished round in his pocked for his flip knife and in two quick motions he cut JJ down from the wall.

As soon as her hands were free, JJ reached up to her throat, she scratched his arms and pulled at his fingers so she could get some much needed air. But it was in vain, Walt was not letting go. He tightened his grip more which caused JJ's vision to blur. When the lack of oxygen started to affect her whole body and she became weaker he dragged her over to the bed in the centre of the room.

Walt let go as he threw JJ down on the dirty mattress, then took advantage over her gasping for breath and climbed on her bruised and bloodied body.

When JJ felt his weight on her stomach she started squirming and fighting him off but it didn't work. She was in too much pain and exhausted from the beating, it also didn't help the he had the upper hand with his strength.

With great force he managed to cuff both of JJ's wrists above her head, to the metal head board of the bed, leaving her body completely exposed as well as extremely venerable to him.

Walt stared down at the woman he had wanted to hold again after so long admiring his work.

JJ met his gaze. The look of lust and ecstasy in his eyes made her blood run cold. She could feel him shift his body against her as he moved down to sit on her hips. His eyes never left hers. It was like his dull grey ones were trying to delve their way into JJ's soul. She kept telling herself to 'Just hold on JJ. What ever he does what ever he says just hang in there, don't let him break you. They will save you.' But JJ could feel him burning his way threw her.

She felt his cold hands make their way up JJ's sides and slowly but forcefully digging into her skin as they made their way back down to the elastic of her underwear. Her mind didn't register the sting of his nails till he stopped his hands and rested them on the side of her chest.

Walt grinded his groin against JJ's core and licked his lips. She could feel his hard manhood rubbing against her and the tears filled JJ's eyes. She knew what was coming and had no way of fight him of. JJ also knew that it was going to hurt but she wasn't going to give up without a fight.

"NO!" She yelled at him as he went to grab the front of her bra and go to undo the front clasp.

"Hush now kitten, remember what happened last time you tried to fight me." He grabbed the clasp and just as he was about to undo it JJ managed to pull all the power she had left into her hips and she tossed him off and onto the floor.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She yelled as he fell.

Walt got up of the floor and growled. He climbed back on to JJ's hips and punched her round the face which caused a thick cut to form under her left eye and start to bleed. JJ's head was throbbing and her mind was spinning from all the blows to her head. She squeezed her eyes to stop the stars she was seeing but when she opened them Walt's face was inches away from hers and his hands either side of her head.

"This is how it is going to be. We are going to spend the night having some fun and you are going to except the fact that you aren't going anywhere…"

"You're wrong! My friends will find me and you wont make it out of here alive!" JJ spat hoping that her team were close enough to stop this from happening.

"I haven't finished." Walt growled and smacked his hand over her mouth "You are my daughter and you will do as I say otherwise I will bring Mitch back here and film him raping every single one of your holes and send it to your precious friends. Do I make myself clear?" Walt whispered the last part in her ear as the tears started to slip down her temples at the thought of her team, her family having to watch her being raped.

She knew them all well enough to know the effect it would have on all of them. Garcia would break down into a sobbing mess. Morgan and Rossi would lash out at innumerate objects. Reid would hide within himself. Hotch would keep it together in front of the team but breakdown when he was in the confines of his office and Emily wouldn't be able to store that in one of her boxes she would shut down and break just like JJ would if the situation was to be reversed.

JJ nodded her head; she couldn't do that to her family. Nobody should ever see what was about to happen.

"Good. Once they see it their not going to want to find you. They'll leave you with me; they don't want a slut whore on their team." Walt moved his hand away from JJ's mouth and ran it threw her hair and down her shoulder stroking her soft, pail and bruised skin "I was going to wait until tomorrow to punish you a bit but I've changed my mind. This is going to hurt"

With his hand still tangled in JJ's hair he gripped hold of it tightly and bit down hard on her ear causing a whimper of pain to escape her mouth. JJ refused to scream for him.

"Don't worry Kitten I'll make you scream."

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><p><strong>AN AWWW poor JJ i cant believe im doing this to her AGAIN! **

**so that was one of my favs please tell me what you think! pretty please! it only takes a few seconds to press the little review button at the bottom xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N WARNING! this chapter is one of the reasons this fic is rated M. it has a lot of nasty stuff in it and was really hard to write but i did and here it is. **

**I'm sorry JJ *cringe***

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><p>"Don't worry Kitten I'll make you scream." Walt chuckled as he gently kissed and bit his way down JJ's neck. He bit down hard again when he reached the base of her neck but she still didn't scream as blood slipped onto the mattress. It wasn't until he took a second large bite to her collar bone that JJ let out a painful yell.<p>

"There you go; I said I'd make you scream." Walt smiled and pushed his lips onto JJ's and again forced his tongue to make contact with hers.

His right hand stroked up and down JJ's side sending shivers threw her body. He pulled away from her mouth so they both could have a much needed breath.

Walt sat up and inspected what he and done to JJ's pale skin. She had love bites and bite indentations all over her neck and chest along with 4 deep bite marks that were bleeding. One on her ear lobe another on her neck and the last two on her collar bone.

JJ watched him scan her body. She wanted to scream at him and fight but she was loosing hope fast. He moved his hand towards her neck and stroked her skin. Once he reached the bite mark he pushed hard on it causing JJ to gasp in pain.

"My beautiful girl. I really did miss you so much." Walt slowly moved his hand to the top of JJ's left breast where he stroked her silky skin. Goosebumps appeared all over her body from his touch and the coldness of her dungeon.

He grabbed the front of her bra and ripped it from her body, tossing it over his shoulder. He moved his lips towards her mouth again to kiss her brutally. He pulled back to take in some air and locked his dull eyes with her bright blue ones. He loved to see the fear, pain and anger he was causing her.

"No...Please don't do this...please not this, do anything else just not don't" she begged, but he just grinned and moved back in to kiss her roughly again. Her screams and pleading were muffled by his kiss.

He shifted his body again and reached down to her underwear; Walt cupped and rubbed her mound for a few moments enjoying the fear in her eyes. With one solid movement Walt pulled her small underwear from her hips.

"You can't do this, Please you've already taken everything from me once, don't do it again...no" she sniffed and pleaded. No matter how much she begged and fought nothing worked.

"I'm going to fuck you wither you like it or not." Walt hissed just as he latched his mouth onto her right nipple and started to suck and bite her. He hated when she wined and complained, he had beat that out of her when she was a child.

JJ whimpered and gasped in pain as his mouth became more forceful. Walt didn't stop when he heard her cries of pain, if anything they drove him to do it more.

JJ was trying so hard not to break, to hold it together till her team got to her but it was no use. She let the tears fall again and let her body shake. She had to let her mind crack, it was the only way Jennifer Jareau could survive this brutal attack.

After a few minutes he switched breasts and started clawing at them. He couldn't get enough of the soft flesh. He wanted the girl he had years ago.

He moved of JJ so he could take his shirt, trousers and pants off.

She watched him start to unbutton his shirt and saw the almost healed gunshot wound she had caused almost a year ago on his shoulder. It was when he moved to undo his belt that she had to look away. JJ stared at the cell door imagining Morgan, Hotch, Emily, Rossi and Reid running in and saving her but it never happened.

He threw his cloths on top of JJ's torn underwear just as she found the courage to look at him. JJ's eyes went wide with fear and tears spilled down the side of her face when she saw his erection, which added more fear to the poor girl. It was about 9inches long and much bigger than she remembered it being.

Walt stroked his erection a few times watching JJ shiver and shake before he moved closer to her. He grabbed her thighs and spread them apart then sat in between her legs and pinched and pulled at her nipples again. The pain Walt could see on JJ's face caused his erection to become even harder. He lent down to kissed and nibbled at the skin under her breasts; from there he kept going further south. Kissing over her lower ribs, down her abdomen catching and tugging at the cuts the knife had caused earlier.

"No" JJ whispered as his lips reached the top of her mound.

Walt stopped kissing JJ's body and looked up locking eyes with her "I want to do this. I want to feel you and most of all I want to make my little girl scream."

He slid his hands down her side cutting open a few layers of skin and stopped at her hips. Walt sat up and with his hands on her thighs he started to caress her skin slowly moving to her core with each stroke.

It was when his fingers met her most intimate place that JJ looked away again up to the ceiling, she was trying so hard to block out what the monster was doing to her body. But no matter how hard she thought of Emily, Garcia, Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Morgan, Peter or Sophie nothing could block out his hands on her body and his breath on her skin.

His fingers stroked her folds and before she knew what was happening he had forced two fingers into her centre. JJ whimpered at the pain his large fingers caused.

"Nice and tight, just how I remember." Walt took a deep breath "And you smell just as good Kitten."

His fingers picked up speed and JJ could feel the unwanted sensation tingle up her spine.

"No..." She whispered trying to stop her body from making the ultimate betrayal.

"Oh that's it Kitten, come for daddy." Walt smiled grinning from ear to ear.

"No…" JJ kept whispering but the tingling feeling grew stronger and when Walt forced another finger into her core her orgasm took over her body. She whimpered and cried begging her body to stop. She hated herself for what she had done and no matter how many showers she had, how many times she washed it was another things to make her feel dirty.

Walt removed his fingers and whispered in her ear "That's my good girl. Now time for your punishment."

He shifted his body forward slightly and rubbed the head of his member over her lips. JJ closed her eyes trying to prepare herself for the pain that was coming.

"Look at me; I want you to remember every moment of this." And with that he forced himself past her folds into her and began to ram in and out as fast as he could, trying to cause as much pain as possible.

She screamed out as he ripped through her core. With her struggling and not cooperating like he wanted his erection was not going all the way inside her. That's not what he wanted, he wanted to hear their skin slap together, he put both a hand on her hips and he pulled her body towards his and pushed his towards her, forcing something inside JJ to tear.

A blood curdling scream came from JJ's broken throat as he filled her with his hard member. JJ could feel herself ripping/tearing inside. The pain was overpowering she thought she was going to pass out, she hoped for the darkness to come so she would stop feeling and watching as this monster violate her. She could feel the blood and other fluids trickling out of her centre onto the mattress, she could hear his grunting in her ear. JJ tired to pull her mind away again to try forget what was happening but it was too late now, she couldn't push past the pain and the fear.

Walt's pace fastened and the blood was making it a little easier to ram himself in to her tight core. It seemed like this was going on for eternity, then he slowed and pushed harder, his grunting got longer, his breathing had gotten shallower. He was close to edge and to JJ it couldn't come faster. With the last few thrust's he pulled out as far as the head and pushed back in hard. After the second thrust she could feel his hot seed spill in her. He trusted a few more times, and then it was all over for now.

He pulled out of JJ's body with a small pop and let go of the hold he had on her hips. It was when Walt climbed of the bed that JJ's vision started to blur and go dark again. It was after she had been raped that her body couldn't hold on any longer and the darkness took over.

JJ was unconscious

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><p><strong>AN Please dont kill me *hides behind chair***

**i know im mean and nasty for writing that but i have a dark thing living in my head and well...this is the result.**

**Im sorry!**

**Please press the review button and let me know what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Oh My Gosh i just want to say thankyou to tummer22 , Jennifer Jareau obsesser , criminalminds4eva, keelzz64 , Damhill , velizara95 for the lovely, beautiful reviews and everyone that has read, reviewed or faved this story. i love you all and it makes my muse spring to life. **

**so far i have written about 25 chapters on this (and still not finshed) so you have a way to go till the end and i hope you will all stick with me. Im trying to put a chapter up every 2-3 days as i dont want to catch up on what i have written and then have nothing left to post.**

**loads of you are asking when the team will see the pictures and DVD...well it starts at the end of this chapter and runs into the next.**

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><p>Just as the clock struck 9am a very exhausted Hotch and Emily walked into the round table room and sat in two of the remaining chairs. They drove most of the night to get back to the BAU only stopping at a motel for a few hours sleep.<p>

By the looks of all the other team members that hadn't had much rest either if any at all.

"Any new leads since we spoke to you on the phone last?" Hotch asked.

"No." Morgan ran a hand over his head.

"What did Alice Merrick have to say?" Rossi asked with his coffee in his hands.

Emily grunted under her breath and received concerned looks from all the team members other than Hotch.

"What is it Cupcake?" Garcia stopped typing on her laptop and rested her hand onto of Emily's.

"It doesn't matter." Emily said moving her hand from under Garcia's. She knew that with that one movement she had hurt Garcia but at that moment in time she didn't care. She was focusing on not breaking down again.

"Em…?" Reid said from her other side.

"She doesn't even care!" Tears filled Emily's eyes as her voice grew louder, she was unable to stop the emotion "She said that JJ deserved it!" Emily got up from her seat and almost ran out of the room.

Rossi, Reid, Morgan and Garcia looked at Emily's empty seat, then the door and finally Hotch.

"What was that all about?" Morgan asked standing up getting ready to go after Emily. He stopped when Garcia grabbed his arm.

"I'll go handsome. Stay here." Garcia wiped her tear filled eyes and walked out ready to find her other best friend. She had already lost one and was struggling to deal with that, she couldn't loose another one.

Penelope walked into the ladies bathroom to find Emily leaning up against the far wall with her head in her hands.

"Em?" Garcia took the last few strides and pulled Emily into her arms. Emily cried onto Garcia's shoulder for a few minutes before pulling away.

"What happened Sweet cheeks?" Garcia asked wiping the tears of Emily's face. It broke her heart to see the strong woman break down. It only indicated how close the three women actually were.

Emily took a deep breath.

"She said that JJ deserved everything she gets and everything he did to her."

"What?" Garcia put her hand over her mouth as tears slipped down her face.

"Yeah. Then 'everyone has to do things they don't like' and she called JJ a nasty whore." More tears escaped Emily's eyes.

"No…" Garcia whispered.

"If Hotch wasn't there I would have rang her neck. That woman's JJ's mother Pen. I don't understand how you could think that of your own child." Garcia pulled Emily into a tight embrace again "Oh god, what is he doing to her Pen?" Emily sobbed as did Garcia. They needed to let out the tension and fear so they could concentrate on finding JJ.

Garcia and Emily held each other and cried until Emily pulled back and grabbed some tissue.

"C'mon" She handed the tissue to a tear stained Garcia "Let's go find our Jayje."

Garcia nodded and they held each others hands as they walked back. They needed to feel each others presents and strength to get through this and they were going to do whatever they could to help the other.

Just as they walked into the bullpen Anderson tapped Emily on the shoulder.

"Urm…Agent Prentiss."

Emily turned round and let go of Garcia's hand. She didn't care that her eyes were red and puffy or that she had wiped all her makeup of with her tears.

"Yes?"

"This was delivered to security at the front gate." He handed over a brown envelope which had BAU written on the front. Emily and Garcia looked at the parcel and then each other before running off to the round table room.

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><p>"Hotch, man what's going on?" Morgan sat back down after Garcia ran out the room after Emily.<p>

Hotch looked round the room to see all the male members of the team staring at him.

"It didn't go as well as I'd planned."

"Right, what happened?" Rossi lent forward and rested his elbows on the table.

"JJ's mother said she didn't know where Walt would take JJ." He rubbed his hand threw his hair and over his tired face after he let out a sigh "The conversation ended with her yelling that she though JJ disserved everything that happened to her as a child and everything Walt is doing now before she slammed the door in our faces."

"Are you serious." Morgan banged his fists against the table.

"Yeah. Emily didn't take it very well, didn't say a word all the way back."

"Their both struggling with JJ missing." Rossi said.

"We all are." Hotch said to Rossi and looked over the other side of the room where Reid was staring at the table looking scared and shocked trying to process what he had just been told. Morgan by now was stood up and pacing the room trying to get a hold on his anger.

"What else did Mrs Merrick say?" Rossi asked just talking to Hotch now as it was obvious that Morgan and Reid were dealing with inner demons.

"Not much. He turned up a few weeks after the incident at Horizon to grab some of his things and she hasn't seen anything of him since."

"She didn't think to call the police when he turned up?" Reid asked listening to the older men talk. Hotch and Rossi looked up to see that Morgan was no longer pacing and Reid was taking notes.

"No, she said it didn't cross her mind."

Morgan let out an angry growl.

"What about how they met, it might help." Reid asked scribbling notes on the paper.

"They met at a bar she worked at just after he left the Marines."

Before anyone could say anything about what Hotch just told them Emily and Garcia ran into the room.

"Anderson just gave this to us." Emily put the package on the table "He said someone left it at the security gates."

Hotch picked it up and opened it. He tipped the items onto the table.

Garcia gasped as she put her head in her hands and silently sobbed when she saw the pictures that fell out and scattered in front of them all. Every one of the remaining team members struggled to look at them.

In every picture JJ was tied to a concrete wall. They were either showing the damage that had been caused to JJ and her body or they were of her being beaten by Walt. One of them showed his hands wrapped tightly round her throat and her face going purple. Another showed JJ standing there on weak knees with bruises covering what they could see of her body, and blood dripping down from her hair line. It was when they reached the last picture of the pile that all their hearts seemed to stop and tears fill Morgan's, Reid's and Emily's eyes.

It was the picture of Walt kissing JJ and the single tear running down her bruised cheek.

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><p><strong>AN please let me know what you all think and i love you all.**

**Reviews = new chapter sooner.**

**xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N this chapter is exreamily small (well its not that small but you get what i mean) so i am giving you two today.**

**Also criminalminds4eva .you! so this one is just for you! **

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><p>Morgan walked over to Garcia and wrapped her in his arm. He rested his chin on top of her head and let a few tears fall from his eyes also.<p>

Hotch looked round his team. He didn't want to think about what would happen to them all if they didn't get JJ back; she was their rock and the glue that kept them together. There was no doubt about it, they needed young blonde.

"Garcia, I need you to play the DVD." Hotch said hiding the fear and worry he was feeling, he stood up and handed it to her.

"No." She whispered into Morgan's chest.

"Baby girl," Morgan dried his eyes "We need to see what's on the DVD."

"But what if he's…." Garcia couldn't bring herself so say what she thought might be on the DVD.

"PG." Emily walked over to Garcia and pulled her out of Morgan's arms. She wiped Garcia's tears with her thumbs and looked in her eyes "We need to do this for Jayje. It might have a clue as to where she could be. I don't want to see what he could be doing to her either but it's the only hope we have of finding her at the minute"

Garcia nodded and put the DVD into her laptop. After a few seconds the large screen switched on and played the DVD for the room to see.

JJ was stood in the middle of the screen, her arms wired to the wall on either side of the blonde who was standing in her underwear. She was covered in many cuts and bruises and her lips were chattering with a light tint of blue.

Just to the right hand side of the screen you could see the shoulder and arm of a man.

"Now…" A male voice said like he was expecting her to do something. It was obvious to all of the remaining team that the voice was Walt.

JJ didn't say anything, she just kept her mouth closed and stared down at the floor refusing to look at the camera.

"Say it…" Walt said sounded frustrated.

This time JJ shook her head still refusing to talk. Walt walked up to her right and punched her round the face.

Watching this earned a gasp from Garcia and an angered growl from Morgan.

"Last chance! SAY IT!" Walt yelled.

JJ looked up at him and clenched her jaw shut. Walt wrapped his hand tightly round JJ's throat and squeezed till her bruised face started to loose what little colour it had. It took a few seconds but JJ managed to whisper.

"o….k" Walt let go and JJ took a much needed breath.

By this point in the DVD Garcia was full on sobbing in Morgan's arms while he was trying to comfort her, watch the DVD and control his anger all at the same time. Emily and Reid were silently watching it with tears in their eyes and wiping away the few that fall. Where as Hotch and Rossi were holding it together much more. They both knew that now wasn't the time to break down, they could do it later. Now they had to focus of finding the blonde.

Back on the DVD Walt had taken a few steps away from JJ and was waiting for her to start speaking.

"Well…" He said with little patients.

"I…Guys." JJ took a deep breath "I need you to stop looking for me…" Walt cleared his throat when JJ said the wrong thing "I want you to stop looking for me. I don't be…belong with you an…anymore." She couldn't stop the tears from falling. Talking to the camera was hurting more than she thought it would "I belong here with W…Walt. And this is wh…where i…I'm staying. I love you all so much, I really do. I'm so…sorry." She managed to get out the last words when sobs over came her and she could no longer talk.

Walt walked back over to her, kissed her cheek and turned to the camera and said "She belongs to me again."

Just before the camera switched off it moved down and pointed to the ground. The room was so quite you could hear a fist meet flesh and a loud yell just as the screen went blank.

No one in the room moved for a minute. They were processing what had happened and what they were going to do next.

"Were not going to stop right?" Garcia said from Morgan's arms.

"Never Baby girl." Morgan kissed the top of her head.

"Morgan's right. Were going to find her, even if it takes us 10 years. Were not stopping." Rossi reassured the others.

"There was someone else there." Raid all but whispered from the seat where he collapsed during the DVD.

"Pardon Reid?" Hotch turned and looked at the youngest member of the team.

"There was someone else in the video. Right at the end when it moved to the ground. I…if it was on a tripod it wouldn't have moved."

"So there's a second Unsub" Emily said.

"Reid's right. Garcia go over his entire history find out who Walt would trust enough for the other Unsub to be."

Garcia wiped her face free from her tears and sat to tap away on her laptop.

"Its going to take a while Emily, Reid, Rossi go home and get some rest." Emily was about to argue when Hotch kept talking and turned to look at her "I'll call all of you if something happens. That's an order." Hotch walked out of the Round table room before anyone could argue with him.

"I'll go and get us some Coffee Princess." Morgan walked out quickly followed by Reid and Rossi but Emily didn't move from her spot.

Garcia stopped typing and took hold of Emily's hand,

"We will find her Sweet cheeks. Go home you need some sleep. I will call you as soon as I find anything."

Emily thought for a minute; Hotch and Garcia were right, she did need some sleep otherwise she would collapse.

"Ok." Emily said debited and walked out of the room.

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><p><strong>AN please let me know what you all think and i love you all.**

**I love you all but criminalminds4eva you rock my darling and make me smile!**

**now it will be a few days. tell me what you think!**

**AJ xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N As you all are completely awsome i am giving you another chapter. i was watching something on criminal minds on youtube today and i went into full on fangirl mode and typed out something like 3 new chapters so this is another reason for the new chapter so soon.**

**WARNING this is another chapter with the reason this fic is rated M. It has Torture, torture, rape and a little more torture! **

**IM SORRY JJ!**

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><p>It was late afternoon as Walt climbed back into the underground bunker; after he had forced himself of JJ that morning he went out to get so supplies.<p>

He climbed in and locked the door behind him. He had a bag over his shoulder and a smile on his face. He couldn't wait for the evening events.

Walt walked into his room and threw the items from the bag on the table. He grabbed the things he wanted to use and with out another look back into his room, went to find JJ.

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><p>Her head was throbbing and her whole body was in pain. JJ squinted when she opened her eyes as the light assaulted her vision and sent a new throb through her head.<p>

A low groan left JJ's tight throat and sent vibrations rocketing threw her chest causing her to cough in pain. Her breathing became hard and her chest tightened. A panic attack was starting to take over JJ's body. She squeezed her eyes tight and thought of things that would calm her. Hotch, Rossi, Emily, Garcia, Morgan and Reid flash across her mind. Her friends and family. The people that still accepted her after everything she admitted to them and hoped would still accept her once she was safe again.

After a few moments passed JJ was able to control her breathing and her chest loosened. She opened her eyes again and looked round the dark room.

Walt was know where to be seen; JJ let out a sigh of relief which immediately sent coughs and shockwaves of fresh pain shooting threw her body. From the top of her head to her legs.

Once her coughing fit had subsided JJ could hear noises from outside her cell. She glanced at the metal door and say Walt jiggling the keys in the lock.

He walked on with his hands full and placed the items on the floor at the end of the bed where JJ couldn't see them.

"Miss me?" Walt asked taking of his jacket.

JJ didn't answer she just shot him a glare and clenched her bloody fists as much as she could. Every time she looked at the monster she was over come with not just fear but an immense amount of anger. She honestly thought it was impossible to hate someone so much.

Once Walt had removed his jacket he threw it on the floor he started to unbutton his blue chequered shirt. JJ looked up at him with fresh fear in her eyes, she knew what was coming.

"Don't worry kitten were not going to have more special time yet. I don't want to get blood on it." He threw his shirt down with the jacket and sat himself on the bed next to JJ's waist.

"Their c…coming for you an….nd their going to kill yo….you." JJ said in a whisper, she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince him or herself because she was loosing hope that they would ever find her fast.

"Listen you little slapper." Walt grabbed her chin and forced her face to look at him. He was extremely pissed of with the fact they she was still caught up on her team "Don't you think if your precious little team wanted to find you they would have by now?" JJ tried to move her head but he wouldn't let her "They don't want you back; and they sure as hell don't want you now. They never want to look at you again. You're nothing but a two bit slut who sells her body for sex. You're just a silly little whore. My silly little whore for that matter and you're not going anywhere."

Tears filled JJ's dull blue eyes as realisation took, he was right they were going to hate her. As much as she didn't want to, she was starting to believe him.

Walt shifted on the bed and sat a little closer to JJ "stay away f…from me" JJ said as aggressively as her broken voice would let her.

"Oh good you have some more fire in you today." He stroked up and down JJ's abdomen with a dirty smirk on his face "This mornings punishment was nothing compared to what you going to get this evening kitten." JJ could feel his icy cold fingers running over her breasts. She grimaced when he rubbed over her sore nipples "You shot me and that wasn't very nice." As he spoke each word, they slowly turned into a growl "I was only trying to be nice." With his last word Walt pinched and twisted JJ's nipple in his rough fingers causing her to whimper in pain, then with all his strength he punched JJ in the stomach knocking the wind right out of her lungs.

He watched his step-daughter struggle to breath and it satisfied him to no end.

'I'm not going to let him win, I'm not, I'm not going to let him win' JJ told her self over and over again blocking out Walt's words. 'He can do what he wants but I'm not going to let him break me, I can't let him win, not again'. She locked her jaw and refused to make another sound while she was being forced to stay with the monster.

"Now we have that cleaned up, let's get started." JJ watched him stand up and grab something from the end of the bed. She tried to see what it was but Walt had it hidden behind his back.

He sat back on the bed and watched JJ's face fill with fear as he removed the offending item from behind his back.

JJ's eyes widened as a large purple lighter came into view. With her jaw still clenched tight JJ tried to free herself from the cuffs attaching her to the bed ripping open the skin. She had to get free. Her legs kicked out and she managed to get a good shot and kicked him in the face.

Walt jumped off the bed and held his nose in pain as blood seeped threw his fingers.

"YOU BITCH!" Walt yelled.

Ignoring the blood coming from his face he yanked JJ's arm towards him, flicked the lighter on.

The fear was evident in her eyes as the monster moved the bright orange flame towards her inner elbow. She tried to take her arm from his grip but the cuffs on her wrist were stopping much movement.

When he pressed the flame to her skin, JJ tried to keep the yell in but the pain was too much and within a second she let out a bloodcurdling scream that would have made anyone with a soft heart blood run cold. Walt held it there for what seemed like hours but in reality it was only 40 seconds.

"ARRR PLEASE STOP! PLEASE!" JJ begged and pleaded thinking that kind of burning was impossible. It wasn't just that she could feel her skin burning she could also smell it and it was awful.

He watched as JJ's skin literally bubble up and blister under the intense heat.

He switched the lighter off when JJ's scream were softer and she looked like she was going to pass out from the pain but it didn't mean he was going to stop there.

JJ was dizzy with pain and her arm was starting to go numb much to her relief. She had beads of sweat running down her temples and was shaking, she wasn't sure if it was from fear, pain or exhaustion.

When Walt stood up she breathed out the breath she didn't know she was holding in, thinking that he was leaving but how wrong she would be.

Walt didn't leave the room he sat on the other side of the dirty old bed and grabbed at JJ's other arm.

More ear bursting screams filled the bunker.

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><p>It was late evening in the BAU when the lifts dinged open and Reid, Hotch, Rossi and Emily walked out. It was obvious by the tired expressions and bags under their eyes than none of them managed to get any rest.<p>

They all headed round table room.

As Hotch opened the door Morgan hit a wall and Garcia was gleaning up a smashed cup from the floor on the other side of the room with fresh tears streaking down her face.

"What did you find?" Hotch asked not needing to ask what happened to the cup as it was obvious that Morgan's anger was the cause of it.

"I got the results back from the DVD analysis and the others tests." Garcia put the broken cup in the bin and wiped away her tears.

"And…" Hotch egged her to continue.

"There were no fingerprints and the DVD analysis came up with nothing. I'm sorry" she whispered as Emily pulled her best friend into a bone crushing hug.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Pen." Emily whispered in Garcia's ear.

Hotch's phone rang from his pocked. He pulled it out and answered.

"Hotchner…" He ran a hand threw his hair "Hand on I'll put you on speaker." He received confused looks from the team as he pressed a few buttons "Ok you're on."

"Hey guys." Peter's warm and steady voice was heard. The team were relieved that it wasn't someone saying they had found JJ's body but they also were slightly disappointed that it wasn't someone saying she was safe and alive in hospital.

"Have you found her yet?" Sophie's quite voice asked over the device.

"Not yet Soph." Morgan said softly. They could all hear a small sob coming from the phone. To Peter and Sophie, JJ or Shelby as they called her was like a daughter to them and it was tearing them apart as well as the team.

"Were not going to give up, I can promise you we'll find her." Emily sat a still crying Garcia in a seat.

"Shhhh." Peter was quickly comforting his wife on the other end of the phone "Have you found anything new yet?"

Hotch sighed he didn't want to lie to them "We received some photos and a DVD yesterday but they haven't been much help."

"Did she seem ok? In the photos and DVD was she ok?" Sophie asked threw sniffs. Hotch looked at team silently wishing someone else to tell them "Aaron?"

"She was pretty banged up Sophie." Rossi answered much to Hotch's relief.

There was another sob from the phone "Soph come back!" Peter yelled "Sorry…"

"Its ok Peter go after her."

"You'll call me as soon as you find her?" Peter needed reassurance.

"Without a doubt." Hotch nodded at the device.

"You will find her wont you. We've only just got her back, we can't loose her again."

"We will find her and as soon as we do you can come and see her ok."

"Ok Thankyou." Peter hung up the phone.

The room was silent for a few minutes with everyone thinking.

"Now what do we do because I'm all out of ideas." Morgan leant against the wall.

"I was thinking." Reid broke the silence of the room "As much as I hate to say it, JJ is special to him." Reid's words sent shivers down most of the team's backs "He's not going to take her just anywhere. The place is going to mean something to him."

"So he's holding her somewhere that is familiar to him?" Garcia asked.

"Yes."

"Reid's right. Were all to close to this, were to close to JJ…"

"Damn right were close to JJ. She's family!" Emily almost shouted at her boss.

"Hotch man No" Morgan stepped forward ready to fight if he needed to.

"What are you saying Aaron?" Rossi asked.

"No, I'm not saying were stepping back from the case. I'm saying we need to look at this another way. We need to start from the beginning and look at this as profilers and not people that have lost a friend."

"Ok the beginning…" Rossi nodded. Morgan and Emily seemed to relax a little when they realised they were staying on the case.

"All the files and folders we have on Walt we are going to go over with a fine tooth comb. There has to be something as to where he is holding her in there." Hotch grabbed some of the many folders and started going over them in his seat.

The others nodded in agreement and did the same.

None of them were planning on stopping again till they had JJ back safe.

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><p><strong>AN its wont be till the end of the week now, sorry.**

**I feel soooo BAD for doing this to JJ. i know some of you hate me *sad face* **

**please let me know what you think. i need feed back to know im doing an ok job**

**AJ xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N WOW this is a BIG one! It has to be that way to have all the other chapters ending the way i want them but i dont think any of you mind it being long ;)**

**WARNING this is yet again another chapter with the reason this fic is rated M. It has Torture & rape and I****M SORRY JJ!**

**I cant believe i keep doing this to the poor woman!**

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><p>Walt climbed of JJ's hips were he had been sat and threw the lighter onto the floor.<p>

He looked over the pail semi-conscious woman on the bed. She had burn marks on her chest, legs, abdomen and arms. Her skin broke, and while not much blood flowed from the burns, the fluid from the blisters seeped out. Walt smiled at the pain on her face.

Ever since he first laid eyes on her when she was 6 he knew the small blonde would be special and the years he spent with her only proved that.

He tried so hard to get her to love him but he always told himself she was to stubborn do follow her heart.

Walt became so deluded that he believed she loved him. Not as a father but as a partner, a boyfriend, even a husband.

He remembered the first night he spent with her and how her body felt against his. Her trembles and her crying sent pleasure through out him. He hoped as the time went on that she would come to accept her fait but she didn't. She rebelled against him and his rules and ran away. As a result of her running he was forced to accept the next best thing, Jessica.

'She not as good as my Shelby' he always told himself but he would take when he could get at the time.

Then one day after he became sick she turned back up again. He hated the way she had changed. She was angry and had a look of hate in her all the time, the innocents he loved o much was gone. And he also found out what she had become when she had ran, a dirty, druggie, whore and he planned to change that. He didn't think he could be angry at someone he loved so much but he was. He knew the only way he could get his little girl back was to punish her for the bad things she had done and force the new habits she had picked up out of her. But with him being sick he wasn't able to do that and before he had a chance to get better she did something at angered him more than anything; she called the police.

It was from that day on that he swore he would get his revenge and get his perfect little girl back.

Now that time had come and Walt still wasn't fully satisfied with the punishments he had handed out and still had more in mind.

"She still needs to learn her lesson" He mumbled to himself still sat on top of JJ.

But with the state she was in now he wouldn't get the reaction he wanted and needed from the blonde.

He had in idea and climbed of JJ and left the room for a second.

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><p>Pain was all JJ could feel, every movement, every breath caused her unimaginable pain. She had no tears left to cry and she was breaking. Her mind and her heart were shattering. JJ told herself she wouldn't, that she would hold it together, but she was loosing hope that she would ever get out of hell.<p>

She was so dazed that she didn't realise he had left the room. She only knew something was happening when she felt his ice cold hands unlock the cuffs round her wrists, cuff her hands behind her back and drag her off the bed.

JJ chocked out in pain as Walt dragged her from the bed onto the cold concrete flood. She tried to stand on her own two feet but the cuts, bruises and burns were causing too much pain. Not to mention the fact that she had been refused food and water since he had taken JJ on that dark night. So she was dragged along the floor leaving shreds of skin from her knees on the concrete.

"Now…" Walt forced JJ's head to the floor. She saw stars as her head made contact and she felt like she was going to explode "Lets wake you up a little shall we…" Walt grabbed hold of JJ's bloodied hair with a tight grip.

She saw the bucked of water too late.

JJ didn't have a chance to fill her lungs with air before her face was plummeted in to the ice cold water. She tried to get her head out but the hand holding her down refused to let up.

She couldn't breath. Water went up her nose and burned. She spluttered in the water still trying to take a breath she new wasn't coming. Her head started spinning, a few more seconds and her lungs were burning. Just as her vision was blurring he yanked her out and she coughed and inhaled gasps of air. No matter how much it hurt the broken ribs or burns the air in her lungs felt good. Just as the coughing slowed her head was pushed down again.

This time she was under for longer. More burning, more struggling and then again she was pulled out but this time he didn't do it again.

Walt realised JJ's hair and she managed to pull her body round its self and feel somewhat safe for a few seconds.

The coughing stopped and she could breathe again but the burning didn't go. It stayed and taunted her.

"Woken up yet or do you need more?" Walt knelt down next to her and stroked her wet hair back from her face. JJ weakly kicked out at him but missed by an inch "I'll take that as a yes then."

Walt pulled JJ back to the bed and cuffed her to the head board again.

He climbed on top of her abdomen and stared deep into JJ's eyes. She stared back at him silently begging to be realised. What she didn't see were his hands making their way up to her bruised neck.

His hands wrapped tightly round her throat, his sharp fingernails digging into her tender skin. Walt was squeezing so tight JJ couldn't get any breath into her already burning lungs. She tried to fight him off, she pulled at her arms forgetting that they were cuffed to the bed but it was getting harder by the second. Not just to breathe but to survive the whole nightmare.

The lack of oxygen was slowly turning her blue.

His eyes weren't filled with anger and revenge now they were filled with pure lust and it scared JJ more than the anger, she knew he could hurt her more this way not just physical, mentally too.

When JJ's vision started going dark and her eyes started to roll in the back of her head Walt let go, climbed off and took off the rest of his cloths.

Just as her vision started to return JJ saw and felt him move her legs and sit between them. Walt went to reach for her face but JJ still gasping for air finding it harder then ever to breathe turned away from him. Walt gripped her chin and pulled it towards him pressing his lips against hers. He kissed her roughly trying to get into her mouth but she clamped her jaw shut tight refusing to give him what he wanted. He wanted to get into her mouth; he needed to taste her again.

With his lips still pressed against hers, one of his hands slid its way down to JJ's nipple and in one fast motion he twisted and pilled at it in an unnatural way causing to gasp in pain and giving him entrance to what he wanted. Her mouth. Walt inserted his tongue and ran it over JJ.

He passionately kissed the blonde for a few minutes and pulled back. The painful erection was too much for him to bear anymore.

JJ knew what was coming and prepared her self for the intrusion and pain. She gripped the headboard tightly and waited.

Walt shifted round a little trying to get the right position. He was going to make this one more painful than the last time he had fucked her. He was going to make her bleed and in one fast and forceful thrust he buried his entire erection into JJ.

"ARRRRRRR" JJ screamed in agony as he ripped through her causing old wounds to open and making new ones.  
>He didn't give her time to adjust to his size. He hadn't gotten his rhythm yet, still focused on making her feel his power. Then he started pounding her hard and fast setting a rhythm.<p>

JJ banged her head on the metal headboard a few times causing her head to split open. This was worse than the last time, he hurt more and he felt bigger.  
>JJ could feel herself ripping as he pounded her, never slowing, never easing; it felt like she was on fire. Her bottom lip trembled as she tried desperately not to sob.<p>

As he forced himself into JJ he lent down to her ear and started tormenting her.  
>"ugh Kitten...your much better than your sister…ugh yes, you dirty little whore, you're so tight, arrrr fuck yeah" Walt was grunting and groaning in her ear "this is what you deserve, oh yeah, fuck ugh"<p>

As he was raping his step daughter an idea popped into his head, for a second he thought it was to wrong to even consider but then he wanted to hurt her, to make her suffer like he had. He reached round her backside put his hand in between her cheeks.  
>"NO ARRRRR STOP!" He forced two fingers into her anal passage. "Next time I'm going to fuck your pretty little ass my girl. I never got a chance to try that out when you were at home" He chuckled in between his grunting. The monster continued at an unrelenting pace.<br>"Would you like me to stop Kitten?" he asked in a sweet caring voice taking in a whiff of her sweet scent.  
>"Please" JJ whispered unable to stop the tears she thought she had ran out of from falling.<br>"Tough!" He growled.

If it was possible his pace fastened and JJ could feel him hitting something inside her, it was her cervix. Hitting and tearing it at the same time. He was never this brutal to her as a child. He always seemed so caring to her then.

Walt continued to whisper his dirty thoughts into JJ's ear until she felt him manhood twitch and grow a little inside her.

"Ugh…Fuck Kitten…Here it comes…Take it baby…take it all." With one last forceful push from Walt and a painful cry from JJ she could feel his burning hot seed spill into her centre.

He climbed off the bed pulling his soft pole from her in the process.

"Now let's finish whet we started." He grabbed the last item from the end of the bed but this time he didn't bother to his it.

Threw her tear filled eyes JJ saw the hunting knife glisten in his hand and shook with fear. She tried to kick out at him again but he was to fast for her tired body.

"What Kitted? Did you think id finished?" He placed the tip of the blade between JJ's breasts "I'm not done yet. It's going to be a long night." Walt whispered as the dragged the knife down to her bellybutton.

JJ's night was filled with many more knife wounds and even a whipping with his belt buckle along with more painful and humiliating rapes and beatings. By the morning all she wanted to do was crawl into a ball and die.

Jennifer Jareau had lost all Hope of her team ever finding her she lost hope of making it out of their alive.

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><p>Garcia walked into the round table room with a tray full of coffee. It was 7am and JJ had been missing for 3 days now. They had spent all night going over all the information they had.<p>

"There has to be something where missing!" Rossi yelled slamming the folder he had in his hands down on the table and walking over the board with the pictures of JJ on.

"There's something in the files we just have to find it." Hotch said.

He kept on talking but Rossi zoned him out.

He knew they were missing something obvious, something right in front of their faces and they just had to find it to find JJ.

He was looking at the picture of JJ and her sister as children with their mother on a camping trip and it was like a light bulb went off in his head. He pulled the picture from the board and read the writing on the back again 'Shelby (age 9), Jess (age 4) and mummy at Prince William Forest Park on family holiday'.

"I think I know where they are." Rossi turned round and faced the others.

They all stopped mid sentence and looked at him in confusion.

"What?" Morgan stood.

"Look" Rossi walked over to the table and slammed the picture down in the middle of it "on the back it say their on a family holiday at Prince William Forest Park. It's a place that means something to both of them"

"There's nothing in that park but trees and lakes. In the DVD and pictures JJ was in a concrete room." Reid said confused. He had read a lot on the park when he moved to DC as he loved to go for quite walks.

"Ok…keep going" Emily urged Rossi to continue.

"It's right next to the Marine Corps Base. Years ago they made under-ground bunkers in the park for Training exercises but closed them all off about 15 years ago for safety reasons."

"There's nothing about any bunkers in reports of the park." Garcia said from her computer where she was tapping away as Rossi talked.

"There wouldn't be. It was a secret they didn't want the public knowing about them and getting in. Walt was a Marine around the time they would have used the bunkers for training. That's where he's taken her. Their in one of the bunkers."

"If they were closed for safety reasons surly they would have been destroyed by now…" Morgan said.

"No because that would have meant spending money they didn't have. They were just sealed off."

"How do we find them if there's no record of them?" Emily asked.

Rossi thought for a minute before pulling out his phone. He dialled a seemingly familiar number and put it on speaker.

"Hello…" They male voice said.

"Andrew?"

"David you old dog! How are you my old friend?" Andrew sounded cheery and it was obvious that he and Rossi were close at one point.

"Andrew I don't have time. A colleague and a close friend of mine is in a lot of trouble and I need your help." Rossi said urgently.

"ok but I'm not sure how I'll help."

"Do you remember the bunkers you told me about?"

"Yes…"

"I need to know where they are."

"David I told you about those in confidence after a few too many."

"Please we need your help." Emily begged the unknown man on the phone.

"Who's that?" Andrew asked concerned.

"Please. She is in danger and you could help save her, we need your help."

The man sighed "Are you sure that's where she is?"

"I'm pretty sure yes…"

"Ok but David you owe me one."

"I'll buy a case of that expensive whisk if we get her back home."

"Ok what do you want to know?"

"How many of the bunkers are still standing after 15 years?" Hotch stepped in.

"Jeez how many of you are there?" Andrew sighed.

"C'mon" Rossi was getting aggravated.

"Ok, ok erm…as far as I know there is only one that could still be used."

"Where is it?" Garcia asked getting ready to type what she needed into her computer.

"I can't tell you its too hard to find but I'll show you. How far away from the park are you?"

"About 45minutes" Reid answered.

"Ok I'll meet you at the north gate in an hour."

"Thankyou Andrew." The line went dead and everyone scrambled getting their jackets.

Garcia went with them to the lifts and waited for them to open.

"You'll call me as soon as you find her right?" Tears filled her eyes and Morgan wrapped his arms round her.

"Yeah. Were bringing her home Baby girl."

The lifts opened and the team minus Garcia left to bring JJ home.

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><p><strong>AN I cant believe it did it to her again! but at least i know some of you still like it. **

**:D soooooooo What d'you think? if the nasty bits are too much please tell me and i'll dull them down a little.**

**please let me know. on the last chapter i got a review that really helped me with somethings, so thankyou!**

**AJ xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N You have no idea how much i love you guys right now. every single one of you that has alerted this fic or added to your favs! and tummer22 , Mia Granger-Malfoy , keelzz64 , velizara95 , criminalminds4eva, Every Review small or big i love them all. Damhill so glad the last one was better! and your right i do LOVE the lonf reviews.**

**This is a small one again but the next bit has some stuff i want to go over.**

**I dont think i need to add Warnings anymore you all know this has nasty stuff!**

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><p>JJ lay on the bed not moving and barely breathing. She was looking up at the ceiling staring off into space. Every flinch hurt, even a slight whisper hurt her head.<p>

She heard the rattle of keys and squeezed her eyes tight mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

Walt walked in and closed and locked the cell door behind him. The only difference with his appearance now was that he no longer had JJ's blood on his body, he was still as naked at the day he were born.

"Rise and shine Kitten, time to play." JJ wasn't sure how long ago he had left her broken on the bed but she knew it hadn't been long.

He threw the keys on the floor to the corner of the room and walked over to JJ picking up the bloodied hunting knife in the process.

It should have scared her but it didn't because the knife meant pain, pain meant damage, damage meant blood loss and blood loss eventually meant death. That was all she wanted now, to die.

She was broken.

Walt put the blade on the floor by the bed and un-cuffed JJ. He knew she didn't have the strength to fight him off anymore. He knew he had done some serious damage to his step-daughter but he didn't have a damn.

JJ's hands stayed above her head she kept her eyes on him waiting for his next move. She didn't have to wait long. Walt lifted JJ's painful body and laid her back down on the stomach earning a painful groan from JJ as her bruised front made contact with the dirty mattress.

"Do you remember what I said I was going to do to you last night?" He lent down and whispered into her ear. When JJ didn't reply he answered for her "I said I was going to fuck your pretty little ass." His and ran up and down her back.

JJ took in is words and remembered that is what he did say as his fingers caused a tremendous about of pain, if that's what two fingers did JJ couldn't imagine what his whole entire member would do. That was when she started to protest and fight with what little strength she had.

"No…please." She whispered barely making a sound.

"Now, now Kitten no fighting." He continued running his hand up and down her back "You know what, your back and ass have been neglected, I haven't shown the as much attention as I have your front." Walt picked up the knife and sat on JJ bruised thighs causing a small whimper to leave her.

He placed the tip of the knife at the top of JJ's shoulder blade "Here we go my girl." He dug the blade in and sliced it down JJ's skin till it reached her lower back.

"noooo" JJ whispered begging him to stop now. It all needed to end soon or she was going to go mad.

He continued to cut JJ's back till he was satisfied and climbed off the dying blonde. Her breathing was coming in short gasps as her broken ribs were poking her lungs. Her back felt like it was on fire as did the rest of her body and she could feel her blood trickling down her side.

She felt the bed behind her dip and felt Walt's hands spread her legs once again.

"Don't," JJ whispered with a corked voice "anything but that, please."

He kissed the side of her neck and whispered back to her,

"Shhhh kitten. Its time to play."

Walt spread her cheeks with his hands and forced the first two inched into JJ's tight bud.

She hollered and screamed in pain thinking that the pain could get no worse but she was wrong, which she found out when he thrust forward to fit the rest of himself in her.

Unimaginable pain filled JJ's body as she heard Walt's grunts in her ear and she welcomed the darkness that filled her vision.

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><p>An hour later two black SUV pulled up to the north gates of the Prince William Forest Park. The only other car in sight was a large white SUV.<p>

Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, Emily and Reid all piled out as fast as they could already wearing their Kevlar.

A Tall man around Rossi's age walked up to them. He had dark grey hair and a small beard.

"David." Andrew held his hand out and shook Rossi's

"Andrew." He turned to see everyone gathered behind him with their guns in hand "This is SSA Hotchner, Morgan, Prentiss and Dr. Reid." Everyone gave Andrew a tight smile and looked over at the forest "Look its great to see you again but…" Rossi tipped his head towards the entrance.

"Its ok we can do all the introductions and catching up later. Right now we have a member of your team to find."

"Lead the way." Hotch said and followed Andrew.

"How far away is it?" Reid asked.

"About 20 minutes."

"Well let's make it 10" Rossi said and speed up to an almost run quickly followed but the others.

11 minutes later Andrew stopped at a clearing in the forest.

"Were here" Andrew was looking at a spot in front of him.

"Ok…Where." Morgan was looking at the ground in the clearing and nothing stood out. They floor had leaved and dirt covering. If you didn't know there was something hidden underground you would never find it.

Andrew walked a few feet from the tree line and bent down. Everyone lent over him and watched him wipe away the leaved and dried mud to revile a hatch in the floor.

Morgan bent down to lift the hatch and he managed to lift it a few inched when it wouldn't go any further. He gave it a few more tugs and that was when they heard a chain rattle. Emily crouched down on the floor.

"This chained from the inside." She said. Joy filled Emily as she knew this is where JJ was being held captive but she was also petrified at what she was going to find once they got down there.

"Ok everyone grab a bit and on my count pull." Hotch said.

So that is what they all did. Hotch, Rossi, Andrew, Emily, Morgan and Reid all grabbed part of the door.

"1…2…3…" On three they all pulled and the chain holding the door snapped and it flew open.

Morgan was the first one down there followed by Hotch, Emily, Rossi, Reid and Andrew stayed up top and waited for the ambulance that had been called.

Morgan and Hotch cleared the first room and it was empty apart from the items scattered round the room that concerned them.

Emily, Rossi and Reid continued down the small corridor to the door at the end. Emily looked in first and the sight she saw made her shake, eyes fill with tears and heart to plummet.

"Oh god, JJ!"

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><p><strong>AN... What was the last line about? I KNOW! **

**This one wasnt as nasty as the last ones but its not over yet.**

**If you let me know what you think of this one and ill try and add another one later today once ive added the bits i want to too it.**

**AJ xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Re-uploaded for those of you beautiful people that couldnt read it. **

**A/N seeeeeeeeeeee i said i would give you all another today!**

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><p>JJ started to slip back into reality. She could feel her back pressing against the mattress; Walt had turned her back over while she was unconscious. JJ struggled to open her eyes and look round the room.<p>

It was when her vision stopped spinning and her ears stopped ringing, she realised Walt was pacing up and down the room.

"No, damn it. They weren't meant to find us yet."

JJ groaned when she tried to move on the bed leading Walt to notice she was awake. He came over and stared at her, he was about to say something when the rattle of chains filled the bunker.

"Shit…" Walt cursed under his breath and grabbed the knife from the floor "Looks like this is the end Kitten. Would have loved more time with you but…" a creepy grin crossed his face like an idea sprang into his mind. It was sick even for his standard but he was about to die he didn't care.

"I think we should put on a little show for your friends." He stroked his manhood making it hard again as the room filled with a few more rattles and a loud crash.

Before JJ had time to process what was happening Walt was sat in-between her legs with his erection placed at JJ's opening. His left hand was over her mouth to stop her from screaming for help and his right hand was holding the blade across her battered neck.

Nothing was making any sense to JJ anymore it was like a thick fog had filled her head so she just lay there and let him have his way. She knew there was no point in fighting him, he was too strong and it would just cause her more pain in the process. Walt looked at her and chuckled. JJ looked away from him waiting to do what he wanted.

She looked over to her cell door and that's when she noticed a face she never thought she would see again. Emily was standing on the other side of it with a gun in her hand and fear on her face. Rossi and Reid were quick behind her to look in the room.

"Oh god JJ!" Emily yelled and put her hand over her mouth.

It was then JJ realised what Walt meant by putting on a show. He was about to rape her in front of her family. She lifted her heavy arms as much as she could to push him away but it was no use she had no energy.

Walt removed his hand from her mouth and whispered "Its show time." With a forceful thrust he forced himself in her again.

JJ drowned out her teams shouts and yells with her own painful scream.

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><p>"Oh god JJ!" Emily yelled.<p>

"No…" Reid whispered stepping behind Emily, seeing what she saw.

Rossi pulled on the bared door but it didn't move.

Hotch and Morgan ran out of the other room and saw their 3 colleges standing in the door way. Emily and Reid had their guns down by their sides with extremely pail faces and Rossi was aiming his into the room. They both ran over and saw what the other members of their team were seeing.

JJ; she lay naked, bloody, battered and bruised on a bed with Walt on top of her.

"Don't shoot." Hotch ordered.

"What!" Morgan whispered angrily.

"We shoot him and that knife goes threw JJ's neck."

"What do we do then?"

"W…." Hotch was cut of by yells and screams. They looked over just to see Walt thrust forward.

JJ screamed in pain as Walt tore threw her.

"NOOOO!" came from Emily.

"YOU BASTARD!" was from Rossi

"DON'T!" Reid yelled.

"STOP" Hollered Morgan.

Hotch just looked into the room in horror.

None of them needed to hear JJ's painful screams to know she was in pain, they could see the hurt on her face and they could see in her eyes that they were loosing her.

Morgan grabbed hold of the bars on the door. He pulled and pushed with strength he didn't even know he had but they weren't moving.

JJ watched her team as she was being violated. That was when the last but if dignity she had slipped away. JJ had nothing left to hold on to, nothing left to fight for. She knew they couldn't get into the room and she knew they wouldn't shoot him now not at the risk of her getting shot or stabbed in the process.

"WLATER BLAIN!" Hotch got over the horror and yelled over everyone "Step away from Agent Jareau now!" He kept his gun trained on the older man that was still violently raping his college.

"Oh no…" Walt licked JJ's cheek "I can't do that. Were having fun aren't we kitten."

She didn't respond, just locked eyes with Emily. JJ's eyes were getting heavy she could feel her body shutting down.

Emily sank to her knees on the floor as JJ was looking at her. She could see JJ's eyes getting darker and fading. JJ was giving in and part of Emily was dying in the process. She couldn't even contemplate life without her best friend.

"Jayje, C'mon JJ stay with me." Emily begged "Just keep looking at me, we'll get you out of their Jayje, just hang on, please." She was now crying.

But JJ couldn't do it, she couldn't look at them. It didn't matter that they were there to save her. It was too late she was already broken and ready to die, in her mind there was nothing left to save. JJ looked away from Emily and up at the ceiling.

"NO JJ! Don't do that." JJ didn't look back as Walt sped up causing her to gasp in pain "Don't give up on us please. Were going to help you survive. Please JJ don't give in, don't shut us out. Were right here." But JJ didn't have the energy to fight anymore, she lost that days ago. She didn't want to have to fight to live again; it shouldn't be this hard to survive "JENNIFER LOOK AT ME"

Emily's yell made her jump and JJ slowly looked over at Emily with tears streaking down her face, her eyes begged for help but her mouth whispered 'I'm sorry, I can't' It couldn't be heard over Morgan's banging, Hotch's shouting and Walt's grunting but Emily read her dry lips.

"Jayje no…" Emily whispered as JJ took one final look at her family then turned away from them.

JJ grabbed hold of the material on the mattress and sobbed loudly as she felt Walt twitch and stretch inside her.

"Here we go kitten…Ugh god…fuck yeah."

"GET OFF HER YOU BUSTARD!" Morgan screamed still pulling at the door.

JJ breath hitched in her throat with his last thrust. He realised his sticky fluid inside her and stopped thrusting. With the blade still at her neck he didn't move for a minute panting to catch his breath and looking at the shattered woman under him.

"I told you, you'd never get away. I win." Walt sat up not removing himself from inside her and looked deep into JJ's eyes.

"Do it." She whispered and an even bigger grin crossed his face as he realised that he had actually won and broken the once strong woman.

Walt raised the knife above his head ready to plunge it into JJ's heart.

JJ's eyes didn't move from Walt. She knew what was coming and welcomed it.

In that second it was like everything went in slow motion. Walt moved the blade towards JJ. Hotch, Rossi and Morgan pulled their triggers. Reid collapsed to the floor; Emily grabbed hold of the bars on the door and JJ's grip on the sheets tightened ready for the impact.

3 shots rang out and everything seemed to speed up again. Walt collapsed on top of JJ's body.

"REID MOVE!" Morgan shouted at the younger agent and pulled him back away from the door so he could get to the lock.

In one shot Morgan made a bullet hole in the right spot of the lock and it popped open.

"JJ!" Emily was the first to get threw the door followed by the others.

Morgan and Rossi pulled Walt's limp body of JJ and dropped him to the floor. Walt had 3 bullets in him one in his chest on in his upper arm and one in his lower abdomen. The old man was lying on the floor looking up at the two agents with a smirk on his face and blood dripping from his mouth.

"I st…still won, s…she's b…br…broken." Walt choked out through the blood.

"Rot in hell bastard!" Morgan spat and gave Walt a forceful kick in the chest.

With his last breath Walt let out a low chuckle that sent chills through the agent's bodies.

He and Rossi turned and went over to the bed in the middle of the room where the rest of the team were stood.

"Shit" Morgan cursed and ran both hands over his head. The knife Walt had ready to stab JJ in the heart with was sticking out the right side of her chest.

"GET ME THAT AMBULANCE!" Emily yelled hoping that Andrew would hear her and they were already there.

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><p><strong>AN... Ok so Walt is dead and i am a loooooong from finshed. Did it do it and the team justice?**

**i really liked writing this and i would love to know if you liked reading it too.**

**AJ xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Its another painfully tiny chapter so i thought i would give it to you all sooner than i had planned. another in a few days :)**

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><p>JJ heard the shots ring out in her mind somewhere, it wasn't until she felt a new type of pain, a burning pain in her chest did she realise what had happened. She started to focus on the present when she heard Emily yell.<p>

JJ looked up and they were all standing round her, Emily had hold of JJ's hand minding the burn on it, Reid was next to her with tears running down his face, Hotch was taking his jacket off and placed it over her naked body, Rossi was stroking JJ's bloody and mattered hair and Morgan was holding her other hand.

"C'mon JJ stay with us. The ambulance is coming just a few more minutes." Emily wiped away JJ's tears with her thumb.

She couldn't breathe; it felt like someone was sitting on her chest and the little air JJ could get into her lungs burnt like hell.

"I…I'm so…s…sorry." JJ eyes were getting heavy and all she wanted to do was sleep forever now.

JJ's eyes closed and Rossi's voice was the last thing she heard before she was plunged into complete darkness.

"Hold on for us Bella, please just hold on."

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><p>JJ's eyes seemed to glaze over and close. Rossi whispered something to JJ's ear as 3 paramedics stormed the room.<p>

"Everyone move back!" The guy in charge ordered and that's what the BAU team did. They all stepped away and stood over by the wall.

The paramedics worked over JJ for a few moments. Listning to their words.

"Her temps 104.7 we need to get it down stat!" One said over the others. He pulled out some packs from his bag and placed them round JJ's body.

"We need to stabilize her before we mover her…"

They continued to listen to their chatter of JJ's injuries and what they were doing to her when 3 simple words seemed to stand out over all the noise.

"Were loosing her!" The red haired paramedic said.

"We need to intubate, she's not breathing." The lead blonde told the other 2.

"Oh no…" Emily put her hand over her mouth. The team were watching one of their own dying in front of them and there was nothing they could do.

The red head inserted the tube into JJ's mouth and clipped the bag onto the end while the third attached a monitor to JJ's chest reading her heart rate.

"She's got no pulse! She's in arrest" The blonde said and started chest compressions on JJ avoiding the hunting knife still sticking out of her chest.

Morgan pulled a sobbing Emily into his chest as a few tears slipped down his cheeks too.

The paramedics continued CPR on JJ for around 10 minutes till the red haired one told them the helicopter had arrived.

"I'm not moving her until she's stable." The blonde told the others in a Stern voice that would give Hotch a run for his money.

"She's been down for too long. We've lost her." The third told them and all three stopped what they were doing.

"NOO!" Emily moved from Morgan's arms to the bed taking JJ's hand in hers "You can't give up on her please…God please JJ I need you, we all need you…please." Emily sobbed into JJ's hand and Rossi came and held her from behind. The other three men stood motionless and deathly pail by the wall.

"We were too late." Reid whispered.

"I'm sorry." The blonde paramedic stood up and looked at his watch "Time of death…"

"Wait…" The red head stopped his college. A slow beep came from the monitor attached to JJ "She's got a pulse. Its faint but its there"

The room was frozen in shock for a couple of seconds then everything and everyone moved like the speed of light.

The paramedics loaded JJ onto the stretched without Emily letting go of her hand and the others followed them out of the room.

Emily climbed into the helicopter next to JJ's unconscious body and watched the broken blonde as they took off.

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><p>Morgan, Hotch, Rossi and Reid pulled up to the hospital Just as Garcia did. Morgan hugged her and they all ran in looking for Emily and JJ.<p>

They ran up to the reception desk and scared the life out of the older woman behind it.

"Were looking for Agent Jareau?" Hotch pulled out his badge.

"Ok one second…" The woman tapped at her computer as the Morgan and Rossi tapped their foots on the floor impatiently "Right sh…"

"Guys!" Emily yelled from behind them.

They all turned round to look at the brunette. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she had JJ's blood covering her body, from her face down to the bottom of her white buttoned up shirt.

"Where's my Buttercup, is she ok?" Garcia asked Emily in a hug.

"How is she Em…" Morgan joined the two remaining women.

"They took her straight to theatre. Her heart stopped again when we landed on the pad." Fresh tears streaked her eyes "I've been in the surgical waiting room but I figured you would be here soon so I came to find you."

"Ok." Hotch put a hand on her shoulder "Lets go back up there then."

"Where's Andrew. I want to thank him." Emily asked as they all headed to the lifts together.

"He offered to stay behind with the CSI and he's going to bring us the reports of what they find." Rossi pushed the button of the lift and pulled out a clean tissue from his pocket handing it to the blood covered brunette.

"Ok" Emily wiped her tired face and stepped into the lift.

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><p><strong>AN... sorry i didnt make Walt suffer like some of you wanted but i tried to re-write it but i didnt like it, but at least hes dead and cant hurt JJ anymore right? and just because JJ is out of the bunker dosnt means its going to be smooth sailing now. If she survives JJ still has a long way to go.**

**Please tell me what you all thought by pressing the little review button at the bottom.**

**AJ xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N sorry it took so long to get this up. i was going over it again and i didnt like some parts so i re-wrote them also im really struggling with the chapters that im on. **

**READ ON...**

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><p>The team had been sat in the sparkling white waiting room for close to six hours. Emily and Garcia were sat next to each other taking comfort in the other. Morgan and Rossi were pacing, Reid was staring of into space and Hotch was standing in the door looking out for someone that could give them new answers. Every now and then one of them would go and find them answers but always came back with the same 'A doctor will be along as soon as possible'.<p>

"Guys…" Hotch got everyone's attention when a man in blue scrubs holding a thick file walked towards him.

"Are you all here for Agent Jareau?" The kind old man asked.

"Yes, were family." Garcia said as she, Emily and Reid stood.

The doctor walked further into the room and closed the door.

"Could you all take a seat please?"

"We'd rather stand." Rossi said coldly "How's JJ?"

"Ok. I'm Doctor Cain, I was the one that Preformed Agent Jareau surgery."

"And…" Garcia pushed. If truth be told none of them really cared who the man really was.

"She's stable for the time being…"

"What do you mean for the 'time being'?" Morgan asked with an arm wrapped round Garcia's shoulder.

"Agent Jareau sustained some horrific injuries at the hands of her captor and is currently in a coma from a bleed on her brain. We lost her twice on the table but we managed to bring her back"

"Oh god, what did he do to my girl." Garcia turned into Morgan's chest and cried.

"Is she going to be ok?" Reid whispered.

"It's too early to tell at this point."

Everyone took a moment to process.

"What are her injuries doctor." Rossi asked noticing Emily had gone pail again.

He opened the file he had in his hands and turned a few pages then sighed.

"Please, why don't we all take a seat?" Dr. Cain didn't wait for them to reject the offer and took a seat himself.

Everyone sat in the seats opposite him and waited for him to finish reading over the page quickly.

"Ok…like I said Agent Jareau suffered some nasty injuries." Hotch nodded for the doctor to continue "there are many 3rd degree burns all over her body. She has numerous bruises, some are minor but most of them are pretty dark, also there are a few deep tissue bruises round her neck and upper thighs that'll take a lot longer to heal. There are many cuts as a result of what looked like a knife, some of them were infected especially the ones on her back but were giving her antibiotics. Her wrists had some deep wounds from what I believe to be hand cuffs and some type of wire." He paused to look over the team and they knew it was going to get worse from there "Agent Jareau has internal bleeding from a ruptured spleen, a punchered lung from the stab wound to her chest, we also found water in her lungs as the result of some form of drowning. There are numerous broken and fractured ribs, two deep wounds to the top of her head, a fractured skull which has caused the bleed to her brain."

Silent tears were slipping down Emily's cheeks as she listened to the doctor go over JJ's injuries.

The Doctor closed the file and stood "I think that's enough information for you all to process now, I'll get someone to come and find you when we bring Agent Jareau to her room."

"What aren't you telling us" Hotch stood from his seat as the Doctor went to leave.

"Erm…" Dr. Cain sighed as the rest of the team looked at him waiting "ok…" He didn't wanrt to continue now but he knew how pushy the FBI could be "Agent Jareau was repeatedly raped, both anally and vaginally. She has sustained server tearing in both canals and had a torn uterus." Emily couldn't hold her sobs any longer and Rossi held her in his arms. The events of the past few days were too big to fit into the little compartments in her head.

"Also Agent Jareau has lost a lot of blood over the last few days and in surgery, she has a very rare blood type and we are currently running low but we are having some driven over from a hospital about 100 miles away."

"What blood type is she?" Hotch asked.

"AB-"

"So am I" Emily piped up from Rossi's shoulder "I want to donate; I want to give Jayje my blood." Emily stepped up to the doctor and he nodded with a tight smile.

"I'm also AB-, we'll both give blood." Hotch said.

"Ok, we could really use it now, so if you will follow me we can take some."

"Ok." Hotch turned to the others "Stay here, well come and get you and then go and see JJ all together." Just as he went to leave the room with the Doctor and Emily, Hotch had a thought "Rossi can you call Peter and Sophie please and let them know where we are."

Rossi nodded and pulled out his phone.

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><p>45 minutes later Hotch and Emily walked back into the waiting room with matching band aids on the crock of their arm.<p>

The rest of the team were all sat round along with another person. Andrew had joined them from the crime scene while Hotch and Emily were away.

"Agent Hotchner." Andrew stood and shook Hotch's hand.

"Andrew. I take it everything went ok at the scene."

"Yes. The body had been removed and CSI were just finishing up when I left." Andrew handed Hotch the results of what they found so far "from what I saw your were luck to find your friend when you did."

"What do you mean?" Emily asked from Hotch's side.

"With the equipment he had in the other room, a lot more damage could have been done. He had hammers, pliers, electric circuit boards, cattle prods, blow torched, guns, knifes, chains…"

Rossi saw Emily, Garcia and Reid loose colour in their faces as he kept listing off items "Andrew, I think that's enough."

He looked round the room in confusion but understood when he looked at the reaction of the team.

"Oh…sorry. Erm… I'm going to head off. Call me when she wakes, I would like to meet Agent Jareau if it's ok with all of you."

"Of course, she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your help." Hotch shook Andrews hand and lead him out the door.

"So, how'd it go?" Morgan asked trying to get the images out of his head.

"Fine, the Doctor said JJ's back in her room so we can go and see her now."

"Good!" Garcia jumped up from her seat and they all left the waiting room.

Emily was first to reach the closed door. She took a deep breath and pushed it open. There were a few low growls, deep sighs and a sob as the team saw their unconscious friend.

JJ was lying in the bed with the blanket up to her waist, wires coming from every where connecting to different monitors and machines and she had a tube coming from her mouth. If it wasn't for the bruises covering her she would have blended in with the crisp white hospital bed sheets.

Emily sat on one side of the bed holding JJ's bandaged hand and Garcia sat on the other doing the same while the men made themselves comfy round the room.

"Hey Jayje." Emily lent forward and whispered in JJ's ear only just loud enough for the others to hear in the silent room "Were all here, all waiting for you to wake up and were not going to go anywhere." Emily stroked JJ's hair.

"You just keep fighting and come back to us gumdrop, we need you." Garcia said still trying to take in her friend's appearance.

* * *

><p>It had been a day since JJ had been rescued from the bunker. None of the team had gone home; they all stayed by JJ's bed side. It was getting late in the afternoon and the sun was starting to set.<p>

Emily and Garcia still sat on either side of JJ, Garcia was asleep with her head rested on JJ's bed and Emily was holding the unconscious blonde's hand and staring at her willing her to wake up. Morgan was stood by the door interrogating everyone and anyone that walked in. Hotch and Rossi were using JJ's table to write up some of the reports of JJ's case and Reid was sitting by the window watching JJ's monitors closely for the slightest change and when he saw one he would go and find a doctor or nurse for answers on that the change meant.

Garcia was starting to grumble in her sleep when Dr. Cain walked in holding two files. He looked at Hotch and Rossi signalling for them to follow him out of the room and that's what they did.

"We'll be right back" Hotch told Morgan, Emily and Reid who looked concerned.

"Morgan you might want to wake her up" Rossi looked towards Garcia who was now crying in her sleep.

"Sure."

Rossi closed the door behind him as he was the last out.

"Is everything ok?" Hotch asked in his 'boss man' tone.

"Agent Jareau is stable, were concerned about her blood pressure so we are going to run some more tests in a few minutes."

"Ok…"

"I have the file you wanted…" Dr. Cain handed Hotch one of the files in his hand "I'll be back with a nurse in a few minutes."

"Thankyou." Hotch gave the man a tight smile and the Dr walked away.

"What's in the file Aaron?" Rossi turned.

"When did Peter and Sophie say they will be arriving?" Hotch asked his old friend changing the subject.

"Tomorrow morning at some point, don't avoid the question…" Rossi stood stubbornly on the spot.

Hotch looked down at the file in his hand and sighed "Its…"

But he was cut off by Reid running out of the room.

"CAN WE GET SOME HELP IN HERE!"

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><p><strong>AN... I hate reading the cliffhangers but i LOVE writing them lol sorry *Hides behind chair* **

**what do you guys think? please let me know and it might get my muse working again for the others om working on.**

**AJ xx**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N i meant to put this up yesterday but i fell asleep before i got to do it, im sorry you can shoot me now.**

**To those of you who celebrate it happy Easter and to those of you who don't, happy Sunday or whatever day it is where you are!**

**READ ON...**

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><p>"Morgan you might want to wake her up" Rossi said.<p>

"Sure." He looked over at Garcia, He could see tears running down her face and landing on JJ's bed.

"No" She whimpered.

Morgan walked over to Garcia and put an arm round her.

"Baby girl, c'mon wake up, it's just a dream…"

"Leave her alone…please."

"Baby girl." Garcia still didn't walk up "Penelope wake up."

"JJ" Garcia sat up eyes wide open in fear.

"There you are baby girl." Morgan crouched down by her side and wiped away her tears "it was just a dream."

"It felt so real Derek." Garcia let out a small sob.

Reid got up from his spot by the window and joined the rest of his team by the bed.

"What was it about Garcia?" He asked.

"erm…w…we didn't save her in time…he killed her." Morgan pulled Garcia into a hug.

"But we did Pen." Emily looked up from JJ over to her red headed friend "We did save her and she's safe now."

"What if she doesn't make it?"

"She will, we have to believe that. I have to believe that bac…" Emily stopped as JJ's machines started to beep out of rhythm and a slow trickle of blood came from JJ's nose, then something happened that put a new fear into all the people in the room.

JJ's body started to convulse.

"Oh my god." Garcia stood up.

Reid ran to the door and flung it open "CAN WE GET SOME HELP IN HERE!"

"Reid what's going on?" Rossi asked but the look on the young agents face told them it wasn't something good.

Hotch and Rossi both ran into the room closely followed but Dr. Cain and some nurses to see JJ fitting on the bed.

"Everyone out." The Doctor told them but none of them moved, they just looked at JJ scared "NOW!" quickly Emily, Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Morgan and Garcia were pushed out of the room and had the door slammed in their faces.

"What happened?" Rossi asked panicked

"I don't know we were all talking then she started fitting…" Reid listed in his head all the possible reasons for the seizure.

20 minutes later the Doctor walked out.

"What happened…" everyone said almost at once.

"Agent Jareau is stable again. We believe the pressure on her brain caused the fit. We've upped some of her medication so it shouldn't happen again."

"And the nose bleed?" Garcia asked.

"It was all part of the pressure on her body. I read in her file that this type of thing has happened before so I'm not too concerned at the minute." He looked at Garcia and could still see the worry so he elaborated a little "The pressure needed to be relieved some way and that's how it did it. You may go back in now. Get a nurse to page me if you have any more questions"

"Thankyou." Hotch followed the rest of the team back in and they all sat or stood in the places they were before.

An hour of silence later Rossi remembered the convocation he was having with Hotch before Reid came running out of the room.

"So…What's in the file?" He turned to Hotch as did the rest of the team upon hearing Rossi's statement.

"What file…?" Morgan stepped forward

"Why did he give you a file?" Reid took a seat on one of the empty chairs.

"When the Dr was taking Emily and me down to take blood…I asked if he could get me a copy of the file for evidence." He threw the file down on the table in front of everyone "It has everything in it. Pictures and in depth notes of all the injuries JJ has sustains."

"Oh…" Reid seemed kind of gobsmacked.

"Have you read it yet?" Emily whispered.

"No."

They all just stared at the brown folder waiting for someone to take the first move and after another few seconds it was Rossi that went to reach for it.

"Do you really want to read that?" Hotch asked and put his hand on the folder stopping Rossi from opening it.

"Someone has to…"

"I want to read it. I need to know what that bastard did to her" Morgan asked from the door "I want to know what were going to have to deal with when she wakes up."

"No…" Garcia said standing up and taking the folder from Rossi.

"Garcia's right." Emily didn't look up from JJ "It should be up to JJ if we read that file or not. We can't betray her trust not after everything she's already been through."

Emily now looked at Hotch pleading with her eyes. Hotch knew she was right.

"Garcia give me the file please." She handed it to him cautiously "It stays closed for now but if I believe we need to know what's in this to help JJ through then we will." It was a statement said from a boss not a friend.

They all sat for another hour and when the sun had finally set Hotch instructed everyone to go home and get some rest. With some persuasion and facts that 'they would be no good to JJ if they became sick' most of the agreed to go and Hotch would stay by JJ's side and call them all if anything changed.

"I'm not leaving Hotch." Emily stated as the others grabbed their coats.

Hotch open his mouth to argue with her but she beat him to it "No, I'm not going anywhere. Go home, you haven't seen Jack in days, if I go home I will just sit up and worry. Go there is no point in both of us staying."

Hotch sighed Emily was right he did want to see Jack and he knew there was going to be no changing Emily's mind on this one "Ok but call me if it gets too much and I'll come and join you."

"Ok…" Emily looked back down at JJ as the others left the room for the night all promising to be back first thing in the morning along with Peter and Sophie.

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><p>"How's she doing?" Morgan asked handing out the 7 cups of coffee he had on a tray and looking over at the bruised blonde on the bed. It was three days since JJ had been rescued and she was now strong enough to breath on her own.<p>

"No change since last night. Thankyou." Sophie said taking the cup from Morgan.

"Are their any leads as to who the other unsub is?" Emily asked. She hadn't moved from JJ's bed side since she was found. She had been begged and threatened to be thrown over Morgan's shoulder to go home and get some sleep but she point blank refused and promised Morgan she would chop his manhood off if he even tried.

"No, were going through old acquaintances, but nothing so far." Hotch said sitting in one of the seats.

Just then Dr. Cain walked in with a smile on his face. It pissed Morgan, Rossi and Emily that he was so chipper when people's lives were on the line.

"Good morning everyone!" He exclaimed earning some grunts and gowns from everyone in the room "Ok… I have Agent Jareau test results from yesterday and she is doing amazing well. The CT scan shows that the bleed has reduced tremendously."

"Dose that mean she'll wake up soon?" Garcia asked.

The Dr sighed.

"What is it?" Peter asked.

"Honestly, there is no medical reason as to why Agent Jareau didn't wake up a few days ago. The bleed to her brain is still concerning but it is not as bad as we first thought."

"So why isn't she waking up?" Rossi asked.

"I did a paper on this type of thing when I was a college. I believe Agent Jareau isn't waking up because her subconscious doesn't want to."

"I'm sorry what?" Morgan was getting frustrated.

"He's saying JJ isn't waking up because she doesn't want to." Reid piped up from his spot by the window "If you've been through everything she had, as JJ and Shelby would you want to wake up and face it all."

The doctor walked out of the room silently. He knew it was all a lot for them all to take in and that his presents wasn't needed in the room anymore.

"That's why she said she was sorry…" Emily whispered to her self but was overheard By Garcia.

"What was that cupcake?"

"When we found her she said she was sorry. But we all thought it was because…well because she blamed herself for getting into that mess…"

"But it's not her fault" Garcia sniffed with slight anger in her voice.

"No its not, but that wasn't why she said sorry. JJ said it because she was sorry for giving up… she wanted to die." Emily said as she and Sophie cried where as Garcia sobbed into her hands.

"It makes sense." Hotch agreed.

"But she can't leave, we need her." Morgan wrapped his arms round Garcia.

"She'll come back to us baby girl, just you wait and see."

Just then Emily jumped up from her seat "Someone go get the doctor!"

"What is it, what's wrong?" Just as Peter joined Emily by the bed JJ machines started to beep out of rhythm.

"She squeezed my hand!" Emily stated not looking away from the battered blonde.

Reid ran out and returned with the doctor a few seconds later.

"Ok, I want you all to stand back from the bed or get out." They all stood back against the far wall out of the doctor's way not wanting to leave the room "Agent Jareau can you hear me?" He placed his hand in hers and she gently squeezed "That's…"

"No" JJ groaned out. Her voice sounded rusty and dry.

"Its ok Agent, you're in the hospital." He looked up at the monitors and saw her heart rate was getting iritic "Can you get me the sedative." He asked the nurse that had joined him and she just nodded.

"Do…Don't touch…Me…Please stop." JJ's eyes were tightly closed and her hands were clenched as tight as they could be.

'Screw that damn doctor' Emily thought 'JJ needs us'

"Shhh Jayje." Emily reached JJ's bed side and stroked the blonde's hair "your ok, your safe now, its all going to be ok."

JJ's eyes shot open.

"NO, STAY AWAY FROM ME." JJ horse voice broke, she tried sitting up but was restrained by Dr. Cain. Sobs broke out as she struggled under his hold.

"N…no…no plea….please."

"Let her go your hurting her!" Sophie yelled at the doctor.

"I can't do that it will cause her more damage." As the doctor spoke a red blood stain started to seep through one of the many dressings on JJ's shoulder "Damn she's ripped open some stitches." Just then the nurse walked back in with a syringe in her hand and injected the liquid into the tube in the back of JJ's hand.

It took a few seconds but her struggling did stop and her sobs turned to whimpers as she drifted off to sleep.

"Re-stitch that and put a new dressing on please." Dr. Cain told the nurse and left the room holding JJ's records in his hand.

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><p><strong>AN... sooooo how'd i do? tell me please and dont hild back!**

**It looks like my muse has come home so im back to writing again so you MIGHT get more updates!**

**AJ xx**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N As its easter and im SO close to 100 reviews i thought i would give you a little treat.**

**Ok so this is major. My laptop is not working properly and might have to go in the shop so i wont be able to update like i normaly would. it also means i cant write as mich as i would but bare with me i will try as hard as i can.**

**READ ON...**

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><p>He was there with a lighter in one hand and his knife in the other. He had a smirk on his face and was completely naked. He put the lighter and knife on the floor and picked up his belt from the pile of cloths.<p>

"Time to play Kitten." He whispered.

"No, please no more." JJ's damaged voice choked out.

But her pleads went un-noticed. His belt buckle whipped across her abdomen.

She bit her lip to stop from crying out in pain and for the next few blows it seemed to work until his next one hit one of the deep gashes on her stomach.

"ARRRRR!" JJ screamed. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear voiced she recognised.

His belt hit her again this time across the top of her thighs.

"ARRRR! Stop, please." JJ sobbed threw the pain she could feel.

Then the voice was back again.

"Jayje, its ok your safe now." She recognised the voice; it had comforted her many times in the past year.

"C'mon baby girl wake up." It was a different voice now, another soft and caring one.

He threw the belt to the floor and climbed between her legs.

"No, no no no no please no more." She could only whisper now.

"Jayje its ok. Listen to my voice, concentrate on me now…" The voice was getting louder now "That's it c'mon, I'm right here."

Emily was stood to JJ's right and Morgan to her left. The others were in the room watching JJ wake for the second time but didn't want to crowd her so they all stayed back.

"You're doing really well, keep coming." Emily stroked JJ's hair and Morgan rubbed comforting circles of the back of her hand.

"Help me…" JJ whispered.

"We'll help JJ you just have to open your eyes for us." Morgan sat on the edge of the bed gently, sitting her hand on his lap.

Slowly as her eyes opened she managed to focus on the two figures above and immediately fear overcame her again. JJ pulled her hand away from Morgan and tipped her head from Emily's hand causing pain to rotate her body.

"Leave me alone." JJ whispered not letting her gaze leave the hospital ceiling.

"Jayje sweetheart, it's us." Emily didn't touch JJ; she knew her friend needed time.

"Were all here, the team and Peter and Sophie." Morgan got off the bed and stepped away a little.

"I said go away. Leave me alone!" As hard as she tried JJ's voice wouldn't let her shout.

"Jay…" Garcia walked over to the bed and reached for JJ's hand.

"No!" she pulled her hand away and winced at the fast movement. She saw the hurt on Emily and Garcia's faces but she didn't want their pity she didn't disserve their love anymore "please." Her quite voice begged "Just leave me alone." A single tear slipped down JJ's cheek.

Hotch saw the fear and pain in JJ's eyes and made the choice for everyone in the room.

"Ok, we'll leave JJ but we will be just outside the door if you need us ok?" Hotch looked at JJ waiting for a reply, all he got was a nod from the broken woman "Everyone out." Hotch sighed.

He and Emily were the last to leave the room. They didn't close the door they just pulled it to. Less than a second after they walked out of JJ's room her sobs could be heard.

oOo

"Why did she push us all away?" Garcia asked not being the only profiler or councillor in the group.

"Because she didn't want us to see her break down." Hotch said, he could still hear JJ crying in the room.

"It's ok for her to cry." Garcia stated.

"We know that Pen…" Emily started and Morgan finished her sentience wrapping his arms round Garcia "But she thinks we see her as a dirty, disgusting, broken, slut."

Garcia looked up at him in shock "Bu…b…but we would never see her as that right. Surly she knows we would never see that in her."

"He made her believe it again." Peter whispered with his head rested on top of Sophie's with his arms round her waist "It took us months after she finally admitted what he did to her for her to start to believe that she was none of those things. Honestly though I don't think she ever really believed it and with Walt" Peter could feel Sophie shudder in his arms and saw Emily and Garcia do the same at the mention of the monsters name "getting his hands on her again and doing… It drilled it into her head even more."

"I bet you any money he told JJ we weren't going to come for her." Rossi sighed but his eyes were still filled with anger.

"And when we didn't get there till it was too late she started to believe him." Reid sighed to.

"So what do we do now?" Sophie asked.

"We wait. We stand out side this room or sit in there till she gets it through her head that were not going anywhere." Morgan let go of Garcia and walked back towards JJ's door.

"Morgan what are you doing?"

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><p>Out of the corner of her eye JJ watched Hotch pull the door too and she couldn't stop the tears that had been threatening to fall finally slip. She lifted her partly bandaged hands to her face and cried into them.<p>

It took a few seconds for the blonde to stop crying and that was when she heard Morgan's deep voice flow into the room.

"…we see her as a dirty, disgusting, broken, slut."

She could hear his words repeating over in her head 'dirty, disgusting, broken, slut, dirty, disgusting, broken, slut' her heart started pounding her chest tighten and everything seemed to spin. It was like all the air was being sucked out of the room. JJ needed to get out; she needed to get to the window for air.

She was finding it harder to breath and the air was coming in short gasps. She pulled of all the wires sticking to and out of her body and shakily swung her legs of the side of the bed. The cold tile floor was a second of relief to her but wasn't enough. JJ lifted her self of the bed not noticing the pain from her injuries and she took a step but it was too late. Her weak body couldn't hold her up and she collapsed into darkness on the floor with the words 'we see her as a dirty, disgusting, broken, slut' still rotating round in her mind.

Just as JJ hit the floor the door opened and Morgan walked in.

"Look JJ, we need to…JJ!" Morgan rushed to her side quickly followed by the others "Get the Doctor!" Morgan scooped JJ up off the floor, shocking himself at how light she had become and placed her gently on the bed.

"What happened?" The doctor came in.

"We were outside and came back in and found her on the floor."

"Ok…Agent Jareau can you hear me?" he flashed a light in JJ's eyes earning a grown from the blonde.

She was back in the bunker again. The light shining above her and the chill running through her bones. JJ could feel her body throbbing and the cold rings round her wrists were digging in to her skin. But it was now different than what she remembered; she could just about make out many different figures in the shadows of the room, not their faces but the outline of their body.

"Please help me" She whispered.

"Now, now Kitten. That's not going to help, their not going to help you." Walt walked out of the shadows and over to the bed. He ran his cold rough hands threw her hair and rested a kiss on her blue tinged lips.

"Please what are you going to do?" JJ's voice shook.

It was then that the figures came out of the shadows and into the light where JJ could see their faces.

"No…" She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Morgan walked into view followed by Emily, then Hotch, Rossi, Peter, Sophie and last Reid and Garcia together.

"Help me, save me…" JJ locked eyes with Emily but she didn't see the comforting brown orbs looking back at her. Emily's eyes were full of hate and disgust

"Their not here to help you kitten…" JJ looked at Walt confused "Their all here to help me…" It was than that she saw what they all had in their hands "Their all here to punish you too…"

Morgan's strong hands were holding the belt Walt had already beaten JJ with; a knife sparkled in Emily's hand. Hotch was holding a wooden baseball bat with Garcia standing next to him holding a cattle prod in her left hand. Rossi healed JJ's gun and Reid had a long metal poll resting over his shoulder and last were Peter and Sophie. Peter was holding a bucket full of water and Sophie was flicking the purple lighter on and off.

"NO! No I didn't do anything, don't hurt me please…"

"Whore's deserved to be punished JJ" Morgan twirled the belt in his hands.

"This is what you deserve Jayje." Emily smirked at JJ.

"Even when you first came to us Shel, we knew we could never fix you." Peter smiled.

"You're too broken JJ" Rossi said.

"No! Were family!" JJ sobbed.

"C'mon now gumdrop, did you ever really believe we were ever family. After everything you did?" Garcia tilted her head to the side.

"You said you didn't care about all of that…"

"Well they lied to you Kitten…" Walt said from the bed beside JJ. He was running something cold up and down her battered body "Everyone always lies."

JJ looked down to see Walt running a large 12inch red vibrator over her abdomen.

"No, pl…please n…not with them here…" Walt pressed his finger to her lips to quieten JJ.

"But they want to watch me destroy you." He whispered. The vibrator was getting closer and closer to JJ core.

"It'll be fun JJ." Hotch took a step forward and the others followed till they were all round the dirty bed.

JJ could feel the vibrator at her core now and waiting at her entrance.

"Time to play…" Walt forced the vibrator to rip through JJ centre.

"NOO ARRRRR" JJ's eyes flung open and she was yelling in pain "NO please stop! Please make it stop." She pushed the hands away that were trying to hold her down.

"Jayje, its ok, your ok it was just a dream. You're safe here." Emily stroked JJ's hair to calm the blonde and it seemed to work until they made eye contact with each other and Emily could see the fear multiply.

"Don't hurt me…" JJ whispered flinching away from her touch.

"Jayje princess, we could never hurt you, ever." Morgan came up beside the doctor and rested his hand on JJ's leg but she pulled them to her chest, started rocking back and forward and looked at everyone in the room like she was petrified of them. It didn't take a profiler to see that their broken friend was petrified of every person in the room.

"Were going to be just outside with the doctors for a few minutes ok?" Hotch didn't take a step towards JJ, he stayed at the end of her bed. JJ didn't look up but flinched as he spoke to her.

Everyone left the room and JJ to her thoughts.

"What was that?" Peter asked worried.

"Agent Jareau collapsed from stress, I'm assuming she tried to get out of bed for some reason and her body couldn't take the strain."

"Ok we get that but what about the way she looked at us, she was scared stiff." Garcia asked the doctor but it was Rossi that answered the question.

"Something in the nightmare she had caused her to become afraid of us"

"Like what?" Sophie asked.

"That is something we're going to have to find out from her but not now. Now she needs to rest." Hotch swung round and looked at JJ through the glass window. She was still sitting on the bed with her knees to her chest but instead of rocking JJ was staring at the wall ahead of her not moving. You couldn't even tell if she was breathing "Someone stays here at all times. We will take it in shifts."

"I'll go first." Emily said, Hotch was about to argue with her but Emily stopped him "No Hotch, I will stay and watch JJ first, please."

"Ok, Morgan comes back in 4 hours and Rossi after that."

Everyone nodded took one last look at JJ and headed for the lifts. Emily walked into JJ's room and closed the door behind her.

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><p><strong>AN... C'mon guys get me upto that 100 review mark! i love you and ill update as soon as i can **

**AJ xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Still cant believe i got over 100 reviews you all rock.**

**READ ON...**

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><p>When Emily walked back into the room alone JJ was relieved that they weren't all coming back but she was scared as well. Deep down JJ knew that Emily wouldn't hurt her, none of the team would but the nightmare and the words she had heard were still too fresh in her mind.<p>

Emily sat in her seat by the bed and rested her arms next to JJ. She noticed her best friend's heart rate go up on the monitors and Emily's heart crushed.

'What the hell did he do for her to be so scared of me?' She thought looking over the bruised blonde.

They sat their in silence for what felt like hours but in reality it was only about half an hour. JJ hadn't shifted her gaze from the wall ahead of her and the only movement she made was jumping whenever Emily so much as flinched.

"Why are you so scared of me Jayje…?" Emily waited for a response but when she didn't get one she kept talking.

"What did he do to you? I want my best friend back JJ. I want to sit in my condo till 3am talking and eating buckets of ice-cream with you and Pen again." Emily scooted her chair closer and went to reach for JJ's hand but stopped when JJ pulled away and whimpered in fear "Ok…ok I'm sorry. I won't touch you." Emily put her hands on her lap "Listen to me JJ, we are not going to give up on you; we'll get you back or we'll die trying because we can't loose you again. I don't show my emotions much, I know that but I'm so scared right now, I need you Jayje, I need my best friend back" Tears were slipping down her cheeks "You can't leave it up to me and Garcia to keep all the BAU boys in check, we struggled to do it when there are three of us." Emily sat up and wiped her tears away "Right this is what's going to happen, I am going to sit her for the next 3 and a half hours talking. I'm going to remind you of all the good we have done and all the fun we've had as friends. Also I'm going to make you remember what an amazing person you are…" Emily wiggled in her seat to get comfy "where shall I start…oh I know, do you remember that case…."

3 and a half hours later Morgan silently opened the door to JJ's room to see Emily talking to JJ and JJ staring at the wall with a blank expression on her face.

Emily saw Morgan and stood up.

"I'll be back in a minute Jayje…" she would have waited for a reply but knew she wasn't going to get one so went straight to Morgan.

He saw the fear and hurt in her eyes and pulled the tired brunette into a comforting hug.

"How's she doing?" He asked.

"Physically still ok like the doctor said but mentally…." Emily's mind wondered of for a second.

"So she didn't say anything?"

"No and the only time she acknowledged I was even there was when I went to touch her and she whimpered in fear or when I moved in my seat and she flinched away from me."

Morgan sighed at what Emily told him.

"Go on, go home and get something to eat and rest, I'll stay with her for a while."

"Ok…" Emily looked a little lost. She walked over to JJ and picked up her bag and jacket "I'm going to head off now Jayje but Morgan's going to stay with you for a while, is that ok?"

Again JJ didn't reply so she just walked out the room without saying anything to Morgan.

"Hey Princess…" Morgan sat on the seat Emily was just in and saw JJ flinch away from him "Don't worry baby girl, I won't touch you, I'm just going to sit here and talk…" JJ's eyes blinking and her chest rising and falling was the only movement coming from her "C'mon Jayje, talk to me. I thought you trusted me… you know I would never hurt you none of us would; ever…" he sighed "ok well I'm going to sit here and when you're ready to talk I'll listen because I care JJ. I love you like a sister and I hate to see you hurting. No one person should have to carry this on their shoulder alone. I want to help you carry it. Ok…"

Morgan sat back in the chair not taking his eyes on the blonde. He watched her chest going up and down as reassurance that she was there and alive.

* * *

><p>It was 8am the next day and the team had sat with JJ through out the previous day and night but there was still no change. She didn't talk to them; didn't even acknowledge that they were in the room. The only sound they got was from a nightmare she had when Reid was with her during the night.<p>

It was Peter and Sophie's time to sit with JJ and the BAU team were all due to be there to visit JJ soon.

"Shelby, we know you're scared, hurting and you feel so alone but your not. Your family is here for you. They didn't leave when they found out about your past and their not going to now please let them in…" Sophie whispered.

"Let us in Shel. We love you so much kid, love you like you're our own daughter. You fought so hard for a normal life and you got it. Don't let it slip through your fingers now." Peter wiped his tears away as there was a knock at the door.

"Can we come in?" Garcia popped her head in the door and whispered.

"Sure."

The Whole BAU team walked in and sat round the room. Emily and Garcia sat in either side of JJ's bed.

"How are you this morning buttercup?" But Garcia got no reply. She was hoping she would but knew deep down it wasn't going to happen yet. JJ hadn't said a word to them or even acknowledged they were there other than when she showed her fear of them.

Once everyone and settled in and had coffee there was another small knock at the door.

"Daddy?" Jack waked in holding Jessica's hand.

"Hey buddy." Hotch walked over to jack and lifter the 6 year old into his arms.

Rossi looked at Hotch in wonderment. He knew that the other profiler was up to something he just wasn't sure what.

As if Hotch could read Rossi's mind he said "Since we came back from Horizon JJ has been spending a lot of time with me and Jack. He asked to see his auntie JJ yesterday and I thought it might be a good idea."

"It might work, yeah." Morgan agreed with the idea.

"We'll leave you three to it then." Rossi left the room followed by everyone else.

"Now buddy…" Hotch sat in the seat next to JJ's bed and placed Jack on his lap facing the blonde "Remember I said that auntie JJ was really sick?"

"Yes daddy but you said she was getting better."

"And she is but I thought she could do with a bit of cheering up, so I thought she could use an extra special visitor."

"Me?"

"Yes you buddy. Did you bring the picture you painted?"

"Yes." Jack jumped of Hotch's lap and picked up his back pack. He pulled out a piece of paper and before Hotch could stop him Jack climbed onto the bed and sat next to JJ.

To his surprise JJ didn't move away or whimper in fear. She kept staring at the wall ahead of her but didn't move.

"Look what I made you auntie JJ. It's a picture I panted off you, me and daddy at the zoo. Look there's the lions and the tigers and the bears." Jack pointed to each bit of the picture "I also drewed butterfly's because I remembered you love them, look see." Jack pointed to a bright blue on at the top of the page.

Hotch looked on amazed when JJ looked at the picture and he could have sworn her eyes turned a brighter shade of blue for a few seconds.

He left Jack there next to JJ for 10 minutes before deciding it was time for the little boy to go home.

"Ok buddy, I think you've worn auntie JJ out."

"Oh but I don't want to go…"

"C'mon, you can come back and visit another time ok?"

"Ok…" Jack sighed and turned to kiss JJ on the cheek. The corner of JJ's mouth twitched and Hotch breathed a sigh or relief "bye bye auntie JJ. I'll see you soon."

Jack climbed of the bed and put his jacket back on.

Hotch lent over to whisper into JJ's ear, she did flinch away but he didn't get too close "I know you're in there JJ and I know you can hear me. We haven't lost you yet and were not going to. I will find a way to get you back to us I promise."

"C'mon Daddy." Jack was stood by the closed door.

"Ok, I'm coming." Hotch took one last look at the broken blonde. This time he felt a little hope in the pit of his stomach as he closed the door behind him.

He and Jack walked over to the others who were outside the room waiting for them.

"Did I do good daddy?" Jack asked pulling on his father's trouser leg.

"You did an amazing Job, I'm so proud of you." Hotch knelt down to his son's level.

"Thanks daddy." Jack wrapped his arms round Hotch's neck.

"Ok buddy. You be good for Aunt Jessica and I will see you later."

"Love you Daddy."

"Love you Buddy." Hotch stood up and thanked Jessica for bringing Jack to the hospital.

"How did it go?" Morgan asked when they were out of ear shot.

"Brilliantly…" Hotch showed his dimples with a winning smile.

"Really?" Garcia asked with hope in her voice.

"Jack sat next to her on the bed and she even looked at the picture he drew. I'm sure I saw a small smile when Jack kissed her on the cheek."

"Oh thank god." Emily sighed in relief. 'maybe things will be ok' she thought to her self.

But the small celebration was cut short when the doctor asked to speak to them all in another room. They followed him down the hall and into an empty family room.

"What's happening?" Hotch asked.

"I'm sorry to say that if agent Jareau doesn't start making some good mental progress I'm going to have to admit her to the physic ward a few floors up."

"WHAT!" Garcia shrieked.

"I'm sorry but this is over my head, it comes from my higher up."

"But she did, just a few minutes ago Hotch and his son were in there."

The team and Peter and Sophie spent the next few minutes telling the doctor what happened in the room.

"That's brilliant but I don't think it will be enough. I'll review her tomorrow and decide then. I'm sorry." The doctor walked out of the room leaving 8 people looking slightly shocked.

"Did he just…" Garcia stumbled.

"Look lets worry about that tomorrow Morning. Now lets just spend time with her reminding her were here." Rossi sighed. In his head he was thinking of private hospitals he could take JJ too.

"Where is she?" Morgan asked as he was the first to walk in and see JJ's bed empty.

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><p><strong>AN... Would it be cheeky for me to ask to get over the 200 mark?**

**AJ xx**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N This chapter is another of my favourites. I found it really hard to write because some or the subjects are REALLY close to home but i thought it would work well with the story and im sorry if it bothers you. **

**WARNING mentions of suicide and self harm.**

**READ ON...**

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><p>Emily walked back into the room and started talking to her. She could hear the words but they didn't seem to process and every time Emily got close or move she moved away scared of what Emily was going to do. Deep down in the bottom of her soul JJ knew Emily or any of her family for that matter would never hurt her but it didn't stop the feeling's and Morgan's words playing in her head.<p>

'If they really think that of me why are they still here, why do they keep acting like they care?' JJ thought to herself as Emily kept talking.

'Because they want to get close again then crush you like everyone in your life has. They don't want you. Who would want a rotten dirty whore in their life? They just feel bad. You don't have to look at them to know they pity you!' a different voice inside JJ's head spat.

And that's how JJ's night went on. The team would sit with her during the night, sometimes she would sleep and wake up screaming but wouldn't let anyone touch her and the rest of the time she just lay in the bed, staying as safe as she could in her mind.

It wasn't until Hotch walked over with Jack that JJ realised she shouldn't have survived. That she couldn't live this life anymore she didn't deserve it.

Jack was pointing out the butterflies on the picture he had painted when she remembered the times she had spent with the two Hotchner men and it warmed her heart.

Hotch told Jack to say goodbye and get his jacket on.

Hotch lent down to JJ and whispered in her ear "I know you're in there JJ and I know you can hear me. We haven't lost you yet and were not going to. I will find a way to get you back to us I promise."

But Hotch was wrong, there wasn't anything left to save, she was a broken shell that didn't deserver their pity and most defiantly didn't deserve their love.

JJ knew what she had to do to make it all ok again.

When Hotch left the room she slowly swung her legs out of bed and stood on the cold tile floor again. For a few seconds she felt like she was going to pass out again but her body had become much stronger in the past few days and she managed to right that feeling. She slowly walked over to the door holding onto the wall and made her way into the corridor. JJ breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that the hall seemed to be empty and she made her way over to the stairs. She ignored the screaming pain radiating through her body and kept going determined to make everything ok again.

Slowly JJ climbed them one by one till she reached the top and all that stood in her way of freedom was a door.

'You don't want to do this, it'll crush them' a voice hissed in panic in her head.

'Yes you do, it will make everything right again. Plus the world doesn't need another slut wondering round' that voice was a lot calmer then the first and it seemed much louder.

JJ reached for the handle of the door and pushed it open. The cold morning breeze swept threw JJ thin gown, almost knocked her off her feet. She took a step out onto the cold concrete and kept going….

* * *

><p>"Where is she?" Morgan asked as he was the first to walk in and see JJ's bed empty.<p>

"What are you…" Rossi walked in behind him and cursed.

"She's gone…" Emily stood in the doorway, worry written all over her face.

"Garcia get on your laptop and check CCTV." Garcia started rummaging threw her bag for her baby "Morgan, Rossi go and alert security…" Morgan and Rossi ran out of the room "Emily stay here with Garcia and the rest of us search this floor." Reid, Peter, Sophie and Hotch quickly left the room and started searching.

15 minutes later the floor had been searched and Rossi and Morgan came back from talking to security to see Emily pacing the room and Garcia tapping away at the speed of light.

"What you got princess." Morgan knelt down next to Garcia.

"I've searched all the exits and she hasn't left the building, I'm….Oh my god…" Garcia stopped and almost dropped her laptop when she spotted JJ on a camera.

"What is it Pen, where is she?" Emily stopped pacing but Garcia didn't answer she just kept staring at the computer screen "PENOLIPIE!" She yelled to get the red head's attention.

"She…she's on the roof…" Garcia whispered.

"What!" Peter and Sophie both yelled.

"What did you just say!" Morgan need to make sure he heard right.

"She's on the roof." Garcia's pail face looked up.

"NO!" Emily whispered and ran from the room to the stairs closely followed by the others.

They made it up two at a time and Emily kicked the door open and there JJ was; standing on the ledge of the hospital roof staring out over DC.

"Jayje…" Emily took a step towards JJ but Hotch grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Emily your not trained for this…"

"Let Rossi talk her down." Morgan said not taking his eyes of the blonde, ready to run if she took the dreaded step.

"No…she's my best friend, it'll be ok."

"Emily…" Rossi moved next to her.

"Rossi… There are a lot of things you still don't know about me ok. Please I can stop her." Rossi or Hotch still agree "I know some of what she's feeling, my whole childhood I felt like a pawn in my mothers political games. I never thought she actually loved me, that I was just a piece of equipments for her, and because she didn't love me I always thought I was worthless, like I didn't belong anywhere, She never truly loved me. At this moment in time JJ is debating whether or not to end it all because she thinks she doesn't deserve to live; that is one of the many disturbing thoughts swimming round in her head at the minute. Now we can stand here and argue over whether I'm going to talk to her or not or I can actually go over there and stop our friend from Jumping."

Rossi nodded and placed a gentle kiss on Emily's forehead "Be careful."

"I will…" Emily slowly took a few steps away from the worried group and closer to JJ.

Once she was a few meters away she stopped.

"JJ, its Em…" When she didn't get a reply from the blonde Emily took a single step closer "can I join you? I won't come any closer I'll just sit here." Emily walked over to the ledge a few meters away and stood there much like JJ was.

Emily looked up at JJ she could see the blond was really pail and was slightly swaying from the lack of energy and the meds running through her system.

"Why don't we sit down Jayje?" Emily waited a few seconds to see if JJ moved but she didn't.

'Why are they here, why cant leave me to do this alone, it'll just hurt them more to see it.' JJ said to herself looking over the DC skyline.

Emily knew there was only one way to get through to JJ at that moment in time and it would open a big can of worms she didn't think she was ready to deal with but if it meant saving JJ's life she would face it all again. Emily looked over her shoulder top the team. She knew they wouldn't judge her and they wouldn't think she were weak because Emily stopped think that about herself a long time ago but this wasn't about her this was about making sure JJ knew she wasn't alone in this.

Emily looked back at JJ and took a deep breath as she unbottened the top of her jeans.

"JJ I want to show you something but I need you to look at me." Emily's voice was shaking. She didn't know if it was from nerves or fear but she thought it was from a bit of both.

"What's she doing?" Garcia whispered through worried tears as they all watched Emily undo her jeans.

"I don't know baby girl, but we have to trust that whatever it is will get through to JJ." Morgan wrapped an arm round the red head.

JJ didn't look away from the view.

"Please JJ, I need to show you this so you know your not alone, that I know how your feeling." Emily watched JJ's chest rise and fall and then her head slightly turned to look at Emily.

Emily took one final deep breath for courage and pulled her jeans down to just above her knees. She saw shock and confusion fill JJ's eyes and hared a few gasps and worried whispers come from the team to the side of her.

JJ looked away from the beautiful skyline when Emily asked for the second time and looked into the brunettes eyes. She could see the fear in them. Then Emily did something JJ wasn't expecting, she pulled down her jeans and reviled a variety or nasty red and white scars that painted the top of her thighs. JJ heard the sounds form the people behind her but just ignored them and looked into Emily's eyes. For the first time in a long time Emily let down her wall and JJ could see right into her soul. She could see the lost and scared girl that stood before her and somehow it made JJ feel less alone.

Emily buttoned up her jeans and took a few more steps towards JJ but didnt get too close. She sat her self down on the ledge and waited for JJ to join her which she did eventually. They both sat there with their legs dangling over the edge for a few minutes waiting for the. Emily knew that as JJ hadn't spoken to them really in days that it would have to be her.

"I know Jayje, I know how scared you are and that this…ending it all seems so appealing, trust me I came close to doing it many time. I know that you think you'll never be happy again because everything is so dark and I know how much you want to stop fighting and be free again because you don't want to do it on your own anymore but you not on your own JJ because I know. I've been to that dark place and I do still go there sometimes but I found my way out. It'll take time and a lot of strength but you can do it. You're the strongest person I have ever known and I will be right beside you holding your hand. I won't let you be in that place alone anymore."

They both just sat there in silence for a moment. Emily was praying that what she had done and said had gotten through to JJ and JJ was trying to wrap her head round it and trying to convince herself that what Emily said was true, that she wasn't alone.

But the silence was gut wrenching and Emily couldn't take it any more.

"Talk to me JJ please, I need to know that what I said got through to you some how." But Emily still got nothing "your really scaring us, what's going on it your head?" Emily asked taking a small shuffle towards JJ. The brunette didn't care if JJ screamed, yelled or even cried she just wanted some emotion other than the blank expression that was on her face.

"Why are you here?" JJ whispered, if Emily wasn't looking in JJ's direction she wouldn't have even heard JJ.

"Because I want to be here JJ. We want to save you."

"I don't deserve to be saved…"

"Why do you say that?" Emily asked carefully

"Because…it doesn't matter."

"Of cores it matters. If it matters to you then it does to me… please tell me what your feeling Jayje…"

"I'm damaged."

"No your not, your just lost and were all going to help find you again."

"You don't want to help me, you just pity me. You only say you want to help because you blame yourself for this happening again." JJ's voice started to get louder and the anger in it was obvious.

"Jayje listen to me…" Emily took another shuffle towards JJ.

"No…leave…now" JJ stood up on the ledge and Emily quickly followed.

"Jennifer don't do this, don't let him win." Emily quickly glanced at the team and they were standing a lot closer and Sophie and Garcia were in floods of tears.

"He won along time ago…"

"No he didn't because your still here, your still standing."

"I heard what you were talking about in the corridor the day I woke up…"

Emily was confused she couldn't remember what was said to have this effect "What did you hear?"

"Morgan said 'we see her as a dirty, disgusting, broken, slut' I know what you all see me as and your right. I am all of those things and more."

"What? No…JJ we could never see you like that." Emily was now only a few inches away from JJ "Your Jennifer Jareau media liaison for the BAU. You are kind and caring. You have a brilliant sense of humour and the strongest person I know."

"No I'm not, that was all an act. I'm Shelby Merrick a slut, broken and a prostitute."

"You were forced to be that way JJ. But you fought to get away from that. I believe you turned out to be who you were meant to be if those things never happened to you. But if you jump now all that fighting will be for nothing." Emily took another small step closer as a tear slid down JJ's cheek.

"Can I ask you something Jayje?"

JJ nodded.

"Why are you so scared of us?"

JJ was silent for a minute.

"I thought you were going to hurt me…"

"We would never hurt you, we love you too much."

"I had a nightmare." JJ couldn't control the tears anymore and she willingly let them fall "You were all in there with him. You all had different weapons in your hands." She took a deep breath as a strong rush of dizziness came over her "Erm…you all stood there and watched him r..re…hurt me then you all tortures me yourself." A sob came from JJ.

"Oh Jayje." Emily took the last step and wrapped her arms round JJ. She felt the blonde stiffen for a second but then she relaxed into her arms.

"Please save me Em…I'm scared." JJ whispered into Emily's chest as she pulled JJ down from the ledge with her. When they were both safe of the ledge Emily's shaky legs couldn't hold them both up anymore they collapsed onto the floor and the others ran over.

JJ was sobbing into Emily's chest and Emily was crying into JJ's hair.

"I'll save you JJ, if it's the last thing I do, I promise."

JJ's body went limp in Emily's arms.

"JJ?" Emily pulled back to see JJ had collapsed.

"You did good Em." Morgan gave Emily a reassuring smile and scooped up the blonde and took her back into the hospital.

Rossi helped Emily up of the floor and held her as she cried.

"You did brilliantly Bella, I'm so proud of you."

"She's so broken Dave…" Emily cried.

"Shhhh, well then we'll spend the time putting her back together."

The both walked of the roof to find the others standing outside of JJ's room.

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><p><strong>AN... Well? Please tell me what you thought. i would really like to know i was extremely nervous about posting this chapter **

**The next chapter will explain what happened with Emily and i might do another Fic about Emily and her past problems. What would you think about that? would you read it?**

**AJ xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N Im soooooooo glad everyone liked the last chapter i was really worried and because all of you were so lovely i and going to give you another! **

**WARNING mentions of suicide and self harm.**

**READ ON...**

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><p>Everyone was standing outside JJ's room waiting for the doctor to finish with JJ so they could go in and see her.<p>

Garcia, Sophie, Emily and Reid were sitting on the plastic chairs while the rest of the group were leaning against walls except for Morgan who was pacing.

"Em…" Garcia looked over to the brunette next to her.

'Here it comes…' Emily thought to herself "Yes…"

They all knew what Garcia was about to ask. Morgan stooped pacing and the others all sat forward a little.

"Erm…Well." Garcia had plenty of questions she wanted to ask her best friend but she didn't know where to start "Erm…"

"Its ok Pen you can ask." Emily looked up from the floor and gave Garcia an uncomfortable smile. She knew this was coming just didn't think it would be so soon after.

"What happened to your legs?" Garcia asked, she really didn't need to because they all knew but she wanted confirmation.

Emily thought for a minute about how she was going to answer "I got into a fight…"

"With who?" Reid asked from her other side with an extremely confused look on his face.

"…myself." Emily refused to make eye contact with anyone from the team or Peter and Sophie. Seeing this type of thing wasn't new to either councillor and if they were honest they were rather proud with the brunette for admitting it and obviously overcoming it.

"So you…" Garcia couldn't bring herself to say it. In all the years she had known Emily she never thought she had that hidden in her closet.

"Yeah Pen, I cut myself." Emily admitted and crossed her arms over her chest as a way to protect herself from her emotions.

Rossi watched Emily and could see that she was slowly locking it back in her boxes and if they wanted the information they needed to ask her quickly "Why Emily?"

"It was a way to get back at myself." Emily wished that that small statement would be enough but by the looks of Morgan, Garcia and Reid it wouldn't be although Peter, Sophie, Rossi and Hotch seemed to understand everything from those 8 little words.

"Growing up with my parents I never felt good enough. They always pushed me to be the perfect little girl to show off but no matter how hard I tried it was never good enough for them." She ran a hand through her hair and let out a shaky breath "I became extremely depressed and when I didn't get things right or I wasn't good enough I thought I needed to be punished so I turned to a razor. Then as I got older they started to…push me away, they stopped trying and ignored me always pushing me off to nannies and maids so I would do anything I could to get my parents attention wither it be good or bad." She quickly made eye contact with Rossi and he understood her unspoken words. Emily hadn't told anyone other than Rossi about the abortion when she was 15 "but they still didn't give it to me and I got so mad and scared sometimes with myself and them, I didn't know how else to deal with the feelings and emotions and cutting was the only realise sometimes." Garcia rested a hand on Emily's knee and smiled at her "It eventually became my life line, my way of surviving and it became my addiction."

There was a few moments where the whole group was quite and thinking.

"How did you stop princess?" Morgan asked gently pushing Emily to talk, he too say that she was starting to build her walls again.

"When I was 17 I'd had enough of the hurt, the hopelessness and the darkness that I OD'd on painkillers. The maid found me in my bathroom and I was taken to hospital." Garcia was sniffing back the tears, she hated that another one of her friends upset and had been broken "I woke up a few days later in a mental hospital on my own."

"Where were your parents?" Reid asked quietly.

"They were too busy working to visit me…" Emily seemed to drift off into space for a second but Garcia taking her hand and giving it a squeeze brought her back "Anyway the doctors told me I had taken enough pills to do the job if I hadn't been found but luckily I had been found in time and there was no lasting damage. So I spent the next 6 months in that place with only 4 visits from my parents. Slowly I learnt to cope and compartmentalise and to stop and I got better. I've relapsed a few times and the urges are still there but I have other ways of coping with them. Something when I think about it, when I look at the scars I feel a little proud because it's like I earned my stripes, I fought the big bad world and I survived. Its just thinking that sometime that gets me through a bad day" Emily wiped away the tears she didn't know she had in her eyes "I had to tell JJ, she needed to understand that someone knows how she's feeling at this moment in time."

"You did Emily." Morgan knelt down in front of Emily "you saved JJ and I am so proud of you baby girl. You went through all that and look at you; you're a big bad FBI agent, you're unbelievable strong."

"And completely amazing." Garcia added.

Emily let out a small chuckle "But you didn't have to hide it from us Em, I think we" Morgan continued and tipped his head towards the rest of the BAU team "Out of everyone knows the damage families and childhood can cause."

"Thankyou…" Emily whispered as a single tear trickled down her cheek.

"Anytime baby girl." The two hugged for a minute and pulled back.

"Why is none of that in your file Emily?" Hotch asked.

She chuckled a little "Because my parents were ashamed of the mess their little girl had made and paid a lot of money to a lot of people to make it all go away. In a way I'm glad because I would never have made it into the FBI with that in my medical history." Hotch just nodded and gave her a very rare Hotch smile.

"Were glad to Bella." Rossi winked at Emily causing her to blush a little.

Just as they were all getting into a comfortable silence the doctor walked out of JJ's room and was instantly met by the group of profilers and councillors.

"Agent Jareau is ok, she's awake. I told her I was going to get a physiatrist to come and talk to her but she said there was no need and she realised what she did was wrong, so I'm going to keep her in for a little while longer than first planned just to keep an eye on her mental state. Although I will still most likely call the physiatrist"

"Ok, Thank you doctor." Peter said and followed the group into the room.

"Jayje…" Garcia walked in first to see JJ staring out of the window on the other side of the room.

When she heard her name being called she looked at the door and a small smile crossed her bruised face.

"Hey…." Tears filled her eyes as everyone she cared about walked in and stood round or close to the bed "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you?"

"Its ok JJ.." Hotch said from the end of the bed.

"No its not, I heard what you said outside the room the other day and then I had a nightmare. I know none of you would hurt me but my head didn't seem to register that and I was so scared of you all."

The team started to get comfy round the room. Emily and Garcia on either side of JJ's bed by her head, Hotch and Rossi stayed at the end of the bed, Morgan by the door, Reid stood against the wall and Peter and Sophie stayed stood by the window.

"What was the nightmare about for you to become afraid of us JJ?" Hotch asked he honestly didn't want to know but if there was any way he could stop it from happening again he would listen.

"Erm…" JJ took a deep breath as her eyes filled with water "I was chained to the bed and you were all there. You had different things in your hands…erm…a belt, a knife, lighter, cattle prod…" JJ started to couch from the strain on her voice it had been a while since she had spoken so much.

"Its ok JJ you don't have to go into detail." Morgan came over to the bed and sat on the edge for comfort, he of all the other people in the room knew how scary and real her nightmares could get.

"You all stood there and told me this is what I deserved then you watched him ra…hurt me." She could say the word 'rape' in regards to a case but when it was about her own life it was like the word refused to come out "you all egged him on then used your weapons on me." Tears were streaming down her face. Morgan rested a warm hand on her leg and to his relief she didn't flinch away. Emily and Garcia held JJ tight as she cried.

After a few minutes JJ's crying stopped and Emily helped her to lie back in the bed. JJ yawned and Hotch smiled and got the internal hint.

"Were going to go JJ and let you get some sleep…" JJ's faces paled and fear filled her eyes "Hey don't worry we wont leave you on your own. Someone will stay with you as all times…"

"I'll stay first." Emily interrupted Hotch not removing her hand from JJ's. Everyone in the room let out a small laugh.

"What's so funny?" JJ's asked.

"We had to threaten Em to be thrown over Morgan's shoulder and be taken home for her to leave your bed side." Garcia smiled at the blonde.

"She wouldn't budge…" Reid also smiled.

JJ looked at the brunette.

"Emily, you should go home and get some sleep, I'll be fine here."

"Save your breath princess it's not going to happen." Morgan chuckled as Emily gave him the look "Ok then I'm off." Morgan kissed JJ on the forehead "I'll be back in a few hours baby girl, try and get some sleep."

"Thanks Derek."

Everyone said their goodbyes to JJ and left the room leaving her and Emily. She looked over that the brunette and smiled the biggest she had in a week.

"Thankyou…"

"For what?" Emily asked tucking a strand of JJ's hair behind her ear.

"What you said and…showed me must have been really hard for you and also for pulling me off the edge." JJ looked down at her lap ashamed at the lengths she had gone too.

"Don't mention it….JJ look at me." But when JJ didn't look up she put a finger under her chin and directed it towards her. When their eyes met she started again "I understand why you were going to do it but you need to realise you're not alone in this. You've got me and Pen, the BAU boys and Peter and Sophie." JJ went to open her mouth to say something but Emily stopped her "And don't say you don't want to be a burden because your not, we want to do this because we all love you so much JJ. You've been through more than I could ever image and you didn't deserve any of it. It'd kill me if anything happened to you." Emily wiped away the tears falling from JJ's eye then her own "you're going to make it through this, I know you will." Emily kissed JJ on the top of her head and gently squeezed her hand She saw a look in JJ's eye and knew she was about to ask a heavy question so Emily stepped in before JJ could "We will talk about what I showed you JJ just not now ok I want you to get better first."

JJ seemed to think about if for a second "Ok…but don't bet this is over with Prentiss" JJ smiled.

"Wouldn't even think of it Jay."

JJ's eyes were looking heavy and she was struggling to stay awake.

"Do you think they'll let me back in the BAU?" JJ whispered with her eyes half closed.

"Do you want to come back?"

JJ paused for a second then nodded "its my home".

"Then nobody, not even Strauss will get in the way. Now sleep, every time you pass out I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack."

JJ chuckled slightly, gave Emily's hand a gentle squeeze before closing her eyes.

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><p><strong>AN... ok now what did you think of that one? was it good? what about the Emily bit at the begining was that ok. oh i have so many questions for you! please tell me what you think! **

**not sure when im going to have the next chapter up but hopefully it wont be too long a wait. Also ive had a few people ask. before the story is over we will see Alice (JJ/Shelbys mum) and Strauss!**

**AJ xx**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N Everyone seemed to likw the stuff i did with Emily which is good and im still not sure if i will write a whole fic about it, i'll let you know if i do!**

**I would have had this up yesterday but i didnt think it was good enough so i changed it a little.**

**READ ON...**

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><p>Emily, Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, Garcia, Reid, Peter and Sophie were all standing waiting outside JJ's hospital room door. The physiatrist had been in there talking to her for over an hour and they were all getting a little agitated. JJ wasn't to impressed about talking to the man but when she was told she wouldn't be able to go till she had she agreed to do it.<p>

Emily was pacing the corridor making everyone dizzy when Strauss walked of the open lift.

"Ma'am" Emily stopped and looked a little dumbfounded.

"What does the dragon lady want?" Rossi whispered to Hotch earning himself a glare.

"Ma'am what can we do for you?" Hotch took a step in front of the group.

"I came to see how Agent Jareau is. I got fed up of you and Agent Rossi ignoring my calls."

It was true neither of the senior agents had answered their phones when Strauss called not wanting to have her breathing down their necks when they had JJ to worry about but thankfully they had managed to keep JJ roof stunt on the down low and she didn't know about it.

"Well she's in with the physiatrist at the minute so why don't you come back." Rossi said from behind Hotch with frustration in his voice.

"Incase it slipped your mind Agent Rossi I am one of the few people that knew of JJ's past and she has come to me on a few occasions when things got extremely hard keeping everything from you, her family. So I'm here to see a friend not a subordinate."

Rossi seemed to growl and slump down in one of the seats. Strauss stayed standing and Emily started pacing again.

It was 15 minutes before anyone in the group uttered a word.

"What's taking so long, I want to get back to my buttercup!" Garcia threw her hands up in the air.

"Give them time baby girl" Morgan rubbed her back then went to whisper in her so Strauss didn't hear "especially after everything that happened yesterday."

"I know your right, its just…" Garcia sighed "it hurts her to talk about it all and I don't want her to have to relive it all over again."

"She's going to have to princess, with a shrink and with us…"

"What?"

"We need to go over something's with her Garcia if were going to find the second unsub." Hotch said leaning against a wall.

"Oh…"

"Come here." Morgan held Garcia till JJ's door opened.

"What do you think?" Rossi asked doctor Lawton.

"Ok…" He pushed his glasses up his nose "I did suggest to agent Jareau that I admit her to the psyche ward for a while but she was dead set against it."

"That's our Jayje." Garcia whispered to Emily.

"The only reason I am letting her stay here is because she is going to be surrounded by two councillors and five profilers."

"You don't have to worry about us going anywhere Dr, she could scream bloody murder and we won't budge." Rossi said.

"Good to hear…" Dr Lawton chuckled "I will be back in a few days to review her again; you have my card if you have any problems?"

"Yes…" Hotch shook the doctor's hand and he walked away.

They all including Strauss walked into JJ's room to see her sitting up in bed and her head in her hands sobbing.

"Oh Jayje." Emily sat next to JJ on the bed and held her tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." JJ cried against Emily's chest.

"You have nothing to be sorry for JJ." Hotch walked over and sat on the bed in front Of JJ "None of this is your fault." He took her hand and held it in his.

"I screwed up so much." The blonde whispered.

"You didn't screw anything up JJ. None of this is or was your fault."

Emily held JJ tight to her body and Hotch held her hand tight until she lay back against her pillow and her eyes immediately made contact with Strauss.

"Ma'am." JJ said in a horse voice.

"It's ok JJ no formalities here." Erin smiled at the bruised blonde and went to the free side of the bed "How are you feeling?" Strauss had a caring look on her face which was new to the BAU members but not to JJ.

"I'm…" JJ winces when she got a twinge in her ribs "Sore." She let out a small grown.

"Do you want me to get a nurse for more pain medication?" Erin asked worry written on her face now.

"No, I'll be ok. The more I can stay of the meds the faster I can go home hopefully."

"You always have been stubborn." Erin smiled and took her hand "You know Agent Hotchner's correct, none of this is your fault, it never was JJ." Strauss could feel the emotion building and she didn't mind showing it in front of just JJ but not in front of the whole team. She quickly built her walls higher are went to make a quick get away "Right you get some rest and I'll come and see you soon or when you get home ok?"

"Yes Erin, Thankyou for coming." JJ smiled and squeezed the hand in hers.

"Your very welcome my dear." Erin kissed the top of JJ's head and made her way out of the room but not before turning to Hotch and saying "don't push too hard she needs to rest." And all she got in reply was a 'yes ma'am'

"What did she me by 'don't push too hard'?" JJ asked her boss who was still perched on her bed. "JJ I need to ask you some questions…" Hotch asked.

If looks could kill he would have keeled over with the stares from almost everyone in the room.

"Hotch? Now?" Morgan growled. He hated to see any of his family in distress and seeing JJ like this killed a little of him inside.

"The quicker we can do it the quicker we can get it over with…" Hotch turned to Morgan and gave him a stern look.

JJ sat up a little and sniffed taking Emily's hand in hers again "It's ok…" She wiped her eyes dry "What do you want to know?" In the blink of an eye JJ had plastered on the mask she used in front of the media. Her face looked calm and collected but if you looked in her eyes you could see the broken girl hidden in there.

"Are you sure you want to do this Shel? You don't have to…" Sophie asked tucking a strand of JJ's hair behind her ear.

"I just want to get it over with." JJ gave a small nod and so did Sophie in understanding.

Emily shifted herself on the bed but didn't move from JJ's side and Rossi pulled his notebook out of his pocket to write down so JJ didn't have to go over it again.

"I want to ask you a bit about the person behind the video camera…" What Hotch has said caused a hint of fear in JJ's eyes he knew she understood who he meant "Do you know his name?"

"Wa…W…Walt called him Mitch." Emily took JJ's shaking hands in to hers as a way to give some comfort and reassurance to the blonde.

"What did he look…" Hotch asked with caution.

JJ closed her eyes picturing the man in her head.

"erm…He had dark gray hair, he w…was old, about the s…same age as…W…Walt. He…" She was starting to struggle with her breathing "He was…" Her heart monitor was rising and JJ was starting to panic.

"JJ, JJ stop." Emily moved round so she was in front of JJ.

"I ca…can't br…" JJ started gasping for air but it didn't come. Her lungs started to burn again and Walt flashed before her eyes.

_She was knelt down on the floor of the bunker with her head in the bucket of water. Her lungs filled with the cold fluid and her vision started to darken._

"JJ Look at me, no where else just me." Blue eyes bet brown and it instantly seemed to calm JJ a little "follow my breathing" Emily took a few deep breaths in and out and JJ followed. The first few were strained and shaky but the more she did it the calmer she became "That's it." Emily smiled "You're doing brilliantly."

"Sorry…" JJ looked down at her lap ashamed.

Morgan walked up to the bed and placed a finger under JJ's chin.

"What have we all said, there is nothing to apologise for princess."

"I can't do anymore, not right now." JJ whispered as Morgan pulled her to his chest.

"That's ok." Morgan looked at Hotch over JJ's head and his boss nodded in agreement "What you gave us will help a lot, why don't you try and get some sleep?" JJ shook her head "I know JJ I really do but you need your rest."

JJ sighed, she knew Morgan was right but every time she closed her eyes she could see him, smell him and feel his hands on her body. "Will you stay with me?"

She hated how weak and child like she sounded but Morgan was the only one in the group who knew the true meaning of nightmares and she needed his comfort.

"It'd be my pleasure princess." Morgan winked and made himself comfy in the chair next to the bed not letting go of JJ's hand.

"We'll be in the waiting room across the hall ok?" Emily asked JJ.

"No its ok, I'll be ok, you've all done so much for me already, go home and get some rest."

"We'll be in the waiting room if you need us." Rossi winked at JJ, there was know way she was going to win that one and she knew it.

"Ok…" JJ rested her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes as the rest of the group walked out of the room closing the door behind them "Thankyou Derek…" JJ whispered as she drifted off to sleep.

"Any time baby girl…" Morgan whispered kissing JJ's forehead.

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><p><strong>AN... so there was Strauss what did you think of her and the chapter as a whole? **

**im not sure when i'll get another chapter up as i have a bad case of writers block but im trying, hopefully it wont be too long. Sunday at the Latest!**

**AJ xx**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N ITS GONE! my writers block that is! yay ive missed writing this but i just got completely stuck! **

**I told you i would have one up by sunday and as it is sunday :P**

**READ ON...**

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><p>Morgan was woken from his sleep when the warm hand in his disappeared. He opened his eyes to see JJ struggling and crying.<p>

He cursed under his breath and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Jayje, wake up your having a nightmare, its ok…"

"No…not th…the belt pl…please not ag…again." JJ sobbed

"Belt? What the hell?" Morgan let out a low growl, if the monster wasn't already dead there would be no stopping him wrapping his hands round his throat and watching the life leave his body "JJ baby girl c'mon wake up."

"Oh god, someone he…help m…me." JJ begged.

"JJ its Morgan, he's not here anymore, he can't hurt you now." JJ started to clam a little "That's it JJ, I'm right here, everything's going to be ok…"

"P….ple…please stop,I ca…cant take it an...anymore." JJ's fear filled eyes burst open.

"Hey there pretty girl." Morgan whispered.

JJ was looking dazed for a few seconds then she managed to focus on Morgan and burst into tears again.

"Its ok, its ok I've got you." This wasn't the first time Morgan had helped JJ after a dream in the past year and he very much doubted it would be the last for a while.

He gently swayed them both back and forward till JJ had clamed whispering reassuring words in her ear.

JJ pulled back, she was still shaking a little and very pale.

"You ok?"

"It felt so real Derek; every time he hit me I could feel it…."

The door to JJ's hospital room slammed open causing JJ to pale more and crawl back a little. A blonde woman came screaming in.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" The woman yelled.

"Mrs Merrick I suggest you leave now!" Morgan stood up and in between JJ and her mother.

"No" there was pure anger on the woman's face.

The others in the waiting room heard the commotion and came running in to see what was going on.

"It wasn't enough for you to take my baby away from me but you had to take my husband too!" Alice tried to side step Morgan but he was too fast.

"Mrs Merrick get out or I will have you removed!" Hotch came to join Morgan in front of JJ.

"No!" She spat at the two men and was grabbed from behind by Rossi and was being pulled out of the room when JJ's broken voice was heard.

"Why?" Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at JJ; she had her knees to her chest and arms wrapped round them.

"Why what!" Alice growled.

"Why do you blame me for all of this?"

"Because it was your fault. I knew what he was doing to you all those years you dirty little whore and you loved it."

"WHAT!" Morgan yelled.

"And I didn't stop him because you deserved it. You drove you father away and that was your punishment for destroying everything." Tears were pouring down JJ's face "But you had to run away and force your punishment on to my baby and now you've killed both of them. You're a dirty little slut and you deserved everything you got. You destroy everything you touch whore!" If it wasn't for Rossi with a firm grip on the woman she would have launched herself at JJ.

Emily came out of her shock and slapped Mrs Merrick hard round the face splitting her lip and knocking her out of Rossi's grip and on to the floor.

"You are arrested for withholding evidence and threatening a federal agent." Rossi and Reid picked Mrs Merrick up off the floor, cuffed her and escorted her out of the room.

Everyone stood processing what they had just heard when they heard a sob. It was Emily that reacted first. She ran over to the bed and sat there holding a sobbing JJ in her arm.

"I d…didn't enjoy it, I I hated i…it you ha…have to believe m…e." JJ said through sobs.

"We know that Jayje and it never crossed our minds otherwise…" Emily held tighter and Garcia came over to join her two best friends on the bed.

"Why does my o…own mo…mother h…ha…hate me so much?"

"I don't know Jayje, some people aren't meant to have children and she's one of them."

"Take some slow breaths Shelby, this cant be good for your chest." Peter came and sat in the bed taking JJ's hand in his and slowly drawing comforting circles on the back of her hand.

JJ untangles herself from the arms round her and sat back taking a deep breath and slightly gasping in pain.

"Thanks…" JJ looked up at Emily and Garcia. Emily winked at her and Garcia gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She caught Peter and Sophie giving each other odd looks.

"What's going on?" She asked looking between her two councillors.

"Nothi…" Sophie started to say was stopped by peter.

"We got a phone call last night, the school needs us back." Peter sighed trying to read JJ's expressions. He could see the wave of fear and the sadness that had settled in her eyes.

"It's ok…" JJ said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"They will be fine for a few more days…" Sophie came and sat on the bed next to JJ.

Hotch saw that the convocation was going to get personal and he didn't want himself or any of the other intruding on the moment "We'll give you guys some time alone." He said ushering the remaining BAU members out of the room.

JJ mouthed 'thank you' as he closed the door and in return she received one of his very rare dimple smiles.

"You two are their last hope…" the couple looked slightly puzzled at the statement "The kids at Horizon. You take them in because know one else wants to help them. As much as I would love you to stay and nurse me back to health" Peter and Sophie chuckled At JJ sarcasm, they knew she hated all the attention she was getting "Those kids need you more than I do. I can't imagine Horizon being the same without you two."

They both hated the idea of leaving the girl they both loved like a daughter but knew they had to get back to the other children.

"If you're sure…" Sophie relented.

"I'm sure, go before I change my mind." JJ accepted the older woman's hug and held on tight for a few seconds remembering the connection the two had. Sophie pulled away as a tear slipped. She wiped it away and then wiped away the one on JJ's pail cheek.

"You'll be ok" Peter asked holding her tight.

"I'll be fine" JJ reassured him.

"Shelby" Peter scowled he really did hate that four letter word but Sophie let out a small chuckle.

"Ok, Ok… I will be fine, in time"

Peter rested his hand on JJ's bruised cheek much like a father would his daughter and JJ slightly lent in to the warm hand.

"No more roof top stunts?" He whispered kissing the top of her head.

"No more roof top stunts I promise."

"We love you Shel, so much." Sophie wiped away her tears again and joined in the family moment.

"I love you guys too. You are the closest thing I have ever had to parents and I can't ever thank you enough."

"No thanks needed sweet girl." Both older adults held JJ tight for a few more minutes.

"We had better go then." Peter pulled away and held Sophie's hand as they walked to the door.

"You'll call us if you need anything?" Sophie asked,

"Yes…"

"I mean it any thing, anytime day or night."

"I'll call you…can you send Em in for me please?"

"Sure…Get some rest Shelby…" Peter opened the door and the couple walked out hand in hand taking one more look at the woman in the bed.

JJ was left on her own in the room for a few minutes, whilst talking to everyone she had tried her hardest to cover her true emotions and be strong but for a few seconds there was nobody in the room she needed to be strong for.

It felt like she was going to burst with emotion. Tears filled her blue eyes and she squeezed her fists tight and it all fell apart, the carefully constructed wall she had built came crumbling down in the silence of the room.

JJ cried. She cried and cried until a set of arms made her jump and let out a small whimper.

"I'm sorry JJ," Emily smoothed JJ's hair "Its me, I didn't mean to make you jump."

"Its ok…" JJ took a deep breath and composed herself.

"Peter and Sophie said you asked for me, is everything ok?" Emily sat next to JJ and held her still bandaged hand.

"How did you do it?" she asked quietly.

"Do what?"

"Survive?" JJ's voice was almost lower that a whisper now. She felt so guilty for asking Emily but she needed to know how it was done.

The both sat quietly for a moment while Emily though about the answer.

The brunette shifted on the bed and wrapped her arms round JJ and JJ rested her head in Emily's chest.

"It took me a while, no it took me a long time but eventually I realised that I didn't have to please everyone, I didn't need my parents to see me as their good little girl. I realised that I needed to put myself first for once and stop punishing myself when I wasn't good enough." Emily lifted a hand from JJ's back and ran it through the blonde's hair.

"And you did it right, you survived?" Emily could feel JJ's silent tears on her chest as she spoke.

"Yeah I did it, I survived. Some days, especially after really bad cases I want to hurt myself but I find other ways of dealing with the emotions. I talk with you or Pen. We go out or sometimes I sit and watch a really soppy movie and cry till my hearts content and if you ever tell anyone that I will deny it to the fullest." She felt JJ chuckle a little.

They both fell into comfortable silence for a while. Feeling safe in the others arms knowing that their best friend was there for the other no matter what.

"Em…where am I going to stay when I get out of here?" JJ whispered breaking the silence.

"Well that's up to you. You can either stay with me at my condo or I can come and stay with you until you're ready. Its entirely up to you." JJ untangled herself and Emily saw the look in JJ's eye as her mouth open "And before you say anything did you really think we would leave you on your own. It was either myself or our beautiful Pen that gets to stay by your side so…."

"You were thinking nobody should have to deal with a hyperactive technical annalist 24/7" JJ smirked at Emily out the corner of her eyes.

"Exactly." Emily chuckled "Right, you decide where you want to go and I'll go find your doctor and see when we can spring your sexy little ass out of here." Emily winked at the blonde and walked out.

JJ finally relaxed a little relived that they weren't treating her too differently.

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><p><strong>AN... what did you think? would love to know :D i'll give you a cyber cookie if you tell me!**

**before i go for this chapter i just want to say thankyou so so so so so much for reading this and leaving reviews for thoes of you lovely people that have. it means so much to me that there are people in the world that likes the things i write and you are the reason i do it. i love you all and you all get a cyber hug!**

**AJ xx P.S I've changed my pen nme because my last name has changed but is still me hope it wont confuse anyone too much!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N to all of you that reviewed my last chapter heres your cookie (::) its chocolate chip!**

**I was asked for a few bits in a few chapters and i just want to make some notes! i really find it heard to write for Reid (im sorry) i dont know why i just cant seem to get it right! but there is a little bit that covers his relationship in chapter 30 or around there. im not planning on adding anymore of Strauss but i havnt finshed the story so i might add something AND last there are some very sweet Morgan and Hotch bits to come and maybe a bit of Rossi too.**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>Two days later JJ hobbled through the door of her apartment. The dark bruises and burns on her thighs were extremely painful and she refused help when she got out of the car.<p>

Emily thought it was a good idea to let JJ get home and settled in peace and the others agreed so they were all going to go round for pizza, beer and a movie later that evening.

"Do you want to park your bum in bed or on the sofa?" Emily asked putting JJ's bag on the floor and her medication of the table.

"I'm going to go for a shower and bed for a little." JJ whispered holding the wall with one hand and her chest with the other.

"Do you want a hand?"

"NO!..." She was getting frustrated with everyone babying her but she knew they were only trying to make things easier. It made JJ feel even worse for yelling when she saw the hurt in Emily's eyes "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to yell, it's just…"

"You don't need to explain its ok." Emily smiled at the blonde and rested her hand on the small of her back "go on, go sleep."

"Ok" JJ's walked down the hall and turned to Emily "You know where the guest room is, I've been the one in hospital for a week and you look worse than me…" JJ smirked.

"Thanks for that…" Emily faked a hurt look.

"Anytime." She turned and headed for her room.

JJ had managed to get a good 3 hours sleep in before she woke up screaming.

She could feel the sweat on her skin sending chills over her body and she looked round her room frantic trying to remember where she was. Just as JJ's heart rate seemed to be slowing her bedroom door flew open and Emily and Garcia came running in.

"You ok buttercup?" Garcia cautiously walked over to the bed. All she got in reply was a nod from JJ.

"Nightmare?" Emily asked sitting on the edge of the king size bed and again all they received was a nod.

JJ refused to make eye contact with them; she hates feeling of being weak and the loss of control.

Emily could see in JJ's eyes that she was fighting with herself and all she wanted was to take JJ's pain away but she couldn't so Emily was going to do the next best thing; she was going to share the pain with the blonde.

"Jayje, please talk to us, tell us how we can help." Emily shuffled a little closer to JJ and held her un-bandaged fingers.

"You can't help me and you shouldn't have to, this is my fault and my problem to sort out so please will you leave…"

Emily started to slowly shake her head "JJ, were…"

"No! Please all of you just go." JJ painfully climbed of the bed and gasped when her feet hit the floor sending shock waves through her body. Garcia was by her side in a second to help JJ but she pushed the red head away "no…"

JJ walked or more like limped out of the door of her bedroom and into the living room where all the men were looking in her direction as they heard all the shouting.

"What's wrong?" Morgan asked looking at Emily over JJ's shoulder.

"I want you all to leave…"

"What? JJ" Morgan took a step towards JJ.

"NO! Leave now!" when know one made a move for the door she mustered up all the strength she could and yelled "GET OUT!"

Morgan took another step towards the frantic blonde causing her to flash back to the nightmare she had. Morgan's face was right next to hers, his hand waving the belt in front of her.

Fear filled JJ and her heart rate rocketed, her pupils dilated and her skin went deathly white.

"Please…" JJ whispered.

"Ok princess…" Morgan put his hands up in surrender and backed up till he was standing next to Hotch. He knew that step he took towards JJ had caused her unnecessary fear.

JJ's back was plastered against the wall and her breathing was still erratic. Hotch know the male presents in the room were not helping the situation so he granted her wish.

"Ok JJ, were going to go but Emily and Garcia are going to stay with you ok…" He quickly glanced at the other woman and they both nodded. JJ didn't answer and the four men grabbed their jackets and carefully walked out of the apartment avoiding any contact with the panicked blonde.

Emily walked over to JJ and stood in her line of sight "Its ok Jayje, their gone." She took a step closer to read JJ's reaction to her and when she didn't get one Emily closed the gap and pulled JJ into her and hugged her. After a few seconds she could feel the blondes silent tears seep into her shirt and started whispering comforting words into her ear.

Once JJ's tears had subsided she pulled back and accepted the glass of water Garcia had appeared with and thanked her.

"I'm sorry." JJ looked down at the wooden floor defied.

"You have nothing to be sorry for cupcake." Garcia rubbed JJ's arm.

"I know he would never hurt me, I just flashed back to that nightmare for a second and I couldn't get it out of my head." JJ's voice cracked with emotion.

"Shhhh" Garcia pulled JJ into a hug.

"What do you want to do Jayje? You can go back to bed or we can watch a movie…" Emily left it hanging.

"I want a shower." JJ said.

"I don't think that's a good idea Jayje…" Garcia pulled back and looked at JJ with nothing but fear and worry in her eyes.

"Please, I just need to get him of me. I can still feel his hands on me and his breath on my skin. I feel so dirty all the time. I need to get clean" JJ shivered at the thought of him.

"Ok, how about I come and help you take the dressings off and put them back on when you've finished then we can come and watch a movie down here. I'm sure Pen can fix something for us all to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat buttercup, to get better."

"Ok." She replied not having the energy to fight right now.

90 minutes later the three women were sitting on the couch. JJ had her head resting on Emily's lap and her feet on Garcia's. She had drifted off to sleep just as the movie was starting. Emily was running her fingers through JJ's long blonde hair and Garcia was rubbing comforting circles on JJ's leg.

Emily looked over to her other best friend as her eyes started to drift close.

"Go home and get some sleep Pen." She whispered trying not to wake JJ.

"No I don't want to leave her…" Garcia rubbed her eyes trying to wake up a bit.

"I'll be here when she wakes up and you'll be back first thing in the morning. There is no point in both of us being exhausted."

Garcia chewed her bottom lip fighting a small battle in her head "Ok but promise me you will call if you need me."

"Of corse I will." Emily smiled at the tech.

"Ok." Garcia carefully untangled herself of the couch and kissed Emily on the cheek and passed her the remote control.

"See you in the morning Jayje." She whispered as she kissed JJ's bruised forehead.

She quickly and quietly made her way out of the small flat.

Emily snuggled her self into the couch a little more and closed her eyes drifting off to sleep, feel comforted by JJ on her lap.

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><p><strong>AN... I know this is small but trust me when i say it gives way to bigger and better things in the next chapter! just you wait and see...**

**please tell me what you think. it really gets my muse in the mood when you tell me what you think. my fingers type extra fast. **

**AJ xx P.S I've changed my pen nme because my last name has changed but is still me hope it wont confuse anyone too much!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N I love reading all your reviews they make me SMILE!**

**just to let you know i dont write ships. I read them, almost all of them but i cant bring myself to write them. sorry!**

**WARNING: theres a tiny little bit of the bad word stiff but not a lot!**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>Morgan sat at his desk the next morning. The whole team had been given time off but Morgan couldn't sit at home doing nothing anymore. His thought kept drifting back to the blonde he had grown extremely close to over the year and what he had seen in the bunker. So he decided he was going to go into the BAU and catch up on the pile of paperwork he had stacked on his desk.<p>

He had read the same line of the sheet of paper in front of him about 7 times when a cup of coffee was placed in front of him.

Morgan looked up to see Rossi perched on the edge of the desk.

"What are you doing here?" Morgan asked the older profiler.

"I could ask you the same thing." Rossi raised an eyebrow knowingly.

"I couldn't sit at home Rossi, every time I stop I can see her in that damn bunker." You didn't have to be a profiler to know he was getting mad "with him on top of her." Morgan was almost growling when his fists came in contact with his desk.

"Morgan" Rossi put a hand on his shoulder.

"No don't give me the 'it wasn't my fault speech' ok. Just don't. I know that but I promised her. I promised her I would never let him lay a hand on her again and I go and let him destroy her."

"None of us saw this coming…"

"Yeah but we should have. We all knew that he wouldn't just stop trying to get to her. It was in the profile for crying out loud. I promised her!" Morgan's fists made contact with the desk again and took a deep breath "about a week after JJ left Emily's she called me at about 2am frantic." Rossi stayed silent and let Morgan get what he needed to off his chest. It was what he did, Morgan would get mad and lash out at something then talk for a little before locking everything back up again and getting on with what he needed too "I got over to there as fast as I could and I found JJ huddled in the corner of her room, crawled up onto a little ball." Morgan looked up at Rossi with tears in his eyes.

Rossi hadn't seen the grown man cry before this case; JJ's case was bringing new types of emotions to the front of every member of the team.

"I held her in my arms till she calmed down and that was when I told her I would protect her from him. We spent the rest of the night talking about…everything." Rossi didn't need to ask what everything meant. He had read Morgan file when he arrived and knew about the abuse he had suffered "I let her down. I'm just another person in her life that has broken her trust."

"Morgan surly you don't…" Rossi was about to comfort the dark agent when the phone rang and Morgan answered.

"Morgan…" His eyes filled with concern "Princess calm down, what is it what's wrong…what…" Morgan stood from his seat quicker then Rossi thought possible "She WHAT!...I'm on my way just tell Emily to keep talking to her." Morgan hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket.

"What happened?" Rossi asked running with Morgan to the lifts.

"We need to get to JJ's now!"

"Ok…I'll call Hotch and Reid on the way…"

15 minutes later Morgan and Rossi reached JJ's apartment door with Hotch and Reid close behind.

They didn't need to knock as Garcia was stood in the door way a look of pure fear in her face and a few blood spots on her hands.

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><p>Garcia unlocked JJ's front door with the key she had been given almost 2 years ago. She was juggling Coffee and bagels for herself and her best friends; well juice for JJ.<p>

She closed the door quietly and placed the offending items down walking into the living room to see JJ and Emily asleep on the couch.

They weren't in the same position as they were when she had left and by the tissues and glasses of water it was obvious that the blonde and brunette had been up in the night because of one of JJ's nightmares.

Garcia sat there watching her friends sleep. They both looked so peaceful in their slumbered state and Penelope wished she could keep them like that forever. When she lost her parents and lived on the streets as a teenager she never thought she would have a family again but now she did and it hurt her so much to see any one of them in pain let alone the whole team.

You see JJ being kidnapped didn't just affect the blonde it had a ripple affect on everyone. There was no doubt in the tech's mind that every member of the team was having nightmares about what the monster did to their friend. She knew Morgan would go home and spend hours working out trying not to blame himself for what happened. Rossi spent most of his free time writing because it was something to keep him mind of everything. Hotch would go home at every chance he got and hold his son, trying to understand why anyone would hurt a small innocent child. Reid buried himself in case files looking over other horrific crimes refusing to go over the case that hit too close to home and Emily attached herself to JJ to give the help and support she needed so she didn't have to think about what he had done to JJ. And that's what families did. They shared their pain and troubles as well as the smiles and celebrations.

Garcia was brought out of her thoughts as Emily started to stir. The brunettes hand started to stroke JJ's soft blonde hair. Her eyes flickered open and looked confused and worried for a second. Garcia witnessed Emily Prentiss in her full fragile state. In the few seconds between the world of sleep and the world of the living Emily had her walls down and as quick as they came down they went back up again and Emily gave Garcia a warn out smile.

"Morning cupcake." Garcia whispered and sat next to Emily on the couch handing her the warm coffee "How was the night?" Emily just shook her head as she sipped the coffee "That bad?"

"Yeah. She started string a few hours after you left. She was begging him not to burn her again." Emily was struggling to keep the tears of exhaustion at bay "I couldn't stop it from coming and the next thing I knew she was screaming." Emily looked at her watch "I only managed to get her to sleep a few hours ago."

"Did you try and get her into bed?"

"Yeah but she freaked out. I managed to calm her down enough to ask her why she was so scared of her bed and she said it reminded her to much of the bed he kept her chained to."

Garcia nodded her head in understanding and let Emily rest her head in her shoulder.

They both fell into a comfortable silence with Emily still stroking JJ's hair.

A gargle came from the sleeping blonde and startled her two best friends.

"JJ?" Garcia sat forward once Emily removed her head.

_She could see the look of pure anger and hate in his eyes. She could feel his cold, rough, blood stained hands clinging tightly round her neck._

"Emily what's happening?" Garcia asked panicked as JJ's hands circled round her own neck.

_Her lungs were burning and her vision started to blur. She tried to beg for him to stop but she couldn't. She tried to pry his fingers away from her bruised neck but he didn't move._

"It's a nightmare." Emily looked just as panicked as Garcia "JJ wake up. It's a nightmare. He can't hurt you anymore."

But Emily's words didn't bring JJ out of her subconscious,

"Em…She's bleeding." She touched the wounds JJ had made. As soon as Garcia said it Emily's gaze went to JJ's neck and sure enough she blonde was creating new scratch marks on her neck trying to pry away the unknown source.

_The pressure round her neck got tighter and she could feel her body going weaker._

"Shit." Emily cursed "She's going blue."

JJ's face was slowly changing colour and was going from a light purple to a light blue then darker. Emily knew what she had to do and also knew it would hurt and scare JJ but it was the only way to stop the blonde from strangling herself.

"Garcia hold her legs…" Emily jumped of the couch and grabbed JJ's hands.

Garcia didn't moved, she was frozen in fear from what she was witnessing "Penelope now!" Emily shouted and Garcia jumped into action holding JJ's legs to the couch.

Emily knelt by JJ's side and pried her hands away from her bloodied neck "I'm so sorry JJ…" Emily whispered and pinned JJ's arms above her head much like they were when they found her in the bunker.

When Emily removed JJ's hands the blonde started to gasp for breath but the colour on her face didn't change, it was as if there was still something blocking her air way; like there were hands still round her throat.

JJ was still in her nightmare and started struggling against Emily and Garcia's hold.

"JJ listen to my voice, you need to open your eyes for me…." Emily's voice portrayed complete calm, unlike her face which showed pure and utter fear.

It took a few seconds of JJ still struggling against their arms and for air but her eyes popped open.

Blue eyes met brown and Emily waited for a few seconds for the fear to leave JJ's eyes but it didn't. The fear seemed to get more intense the longer they both stared and JJ's body started to shake involuntary and tears filled her eyes. She was still struggling to breath but slowly the colour was coming back to JJ's face.

"Pl…please get…" JJ to as deep a breath as her body would let her "Of me Ple…please." JJ begged.

Emily and Garcia removed their hands from JJ and took a step back.

She just lay there for a minute trying to steady her rapid heart beat and her breathing but she couldn't. All she could feel were hands holding her down and burning in her chest. Then out of nowhere an over whelming need to vomit over came the shaken blonde and she ran to the bathroom quickly locking the door behind her before emptying her stomach in the toilet.

Emily and Garcia ran after JJ but the door was slammed and locked before either could reach it. Emily slammed her fists against the white wood.

"JJ open the door." Emily waited till she heard JJ stop vomiting and the toilet to flush "I'm so sorry we had to hold you down Jay you were choking your self sweetheart. Please open the door and let me make sure your ok, Jayje please." She pressed her ear to the door and could hear the sounds of JJ sobbing and it broke heart to know she had been some of the cause of JJ's new pain.

Garcia stood behind Emily and watched the brunette slide down the door whispering quite words to their friend.

"Please Jayje, it's just me and Pen were not going to hurt you."

She flipped open her phone and called the number she knew off by heart and waited for him to answer.

"Morgan you need to get here now, I don't know what to do…" Garcia tried to hold back the sobs till she knew her man was coming.

"Princess calm down, what is it what's wrong" Morgan asked over the phone.

"Something happened and we need you…please help." It was no use the tears and sobs escaped.

"What" Morgan asked confused.

"She tried to strangle herself Morgan." Garcia cried and slid down to wall to the floor, she shaky legs unable to hold her anymore.

"She WHAT!" Morgan yelled making Pen jump a little.

"She's locked her self in the bathroom now. Em's trying to talk her out but it's not working." Garcia looked over to see Emily crying too and begging JJ to open the door.

"I'm on my way just tell Emily to keep talking to her." Morgan hung up the phone and Garcia just dropped hers to the floor.

The red head sat there with her knees pulled to her chest praying and hoping that they still had a chance to save their family member.

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><p><strong>AN... much longer than the last and i hope it lived up to your standereds!**

**more to come soon but before i do please tell me what you thought of this chapter! **

**AJ xx P.S I've changed my pen nme because my last name has changed but is still me hope it wont confuse anyone too much!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N I know i havnt said it lately so i'll say it now...YOU ALL ROCK! thankyou so much for the reviews and adds!**

**This is a big one and will make up for the last few short ones.**

**WARNING: menctions of self harm and suicide!**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>15 minutes later Morgan and Rossi reached JJ's apartment door with Hotch and Reid close behind.<p>

They didn't need to knock as Garcia was stood in the door way a look of pure fear in her face and a few blood spots on her hands.

"What happened…" Hotch asked as Morgan went rushing past Garcia into the apartment.

"I…i…I do…don't…" Garcia was so upset she had started to hiccup.

Rossi and Hotch looked at each other. It wasn't like the tech's emotions were new to them but they had very rarely seen her this upset.

"Penelope…" Rossi put both his hands on her shoulders and looked into Garcia's eyes "Take some deep breaths. I need you to calm down so you can tell us what happened."

It the background they could hear Morgan and Emily talking and banging on the door.

Garcia took some steady breaths and started to explain to her bosses and Reid what had happened.

"Me and Em were talking and JJ started to whimper in her sleep. Then I don't know, everything happened so fast. JJ wrapped her hands round her neck and started scratching like she was trying to pull something away." Garcia looked down at the small drops of blood on her hands; JJ's blood "We tried to wake her up but she wouldn't. Then she stopped scratching and was full on strangling her self." She met her bosses eyes "She was turning blue Rossi, we had no choice. She stopped breathing." Her eyes filled with tears and spilled over down her cheeks.

"What do you mean you had no choice? What did you do?" Hotch asked worry written all over his face.

"We had to hold her down…" Garcia sobbed. Rossi pulled her into his chest and let her cry "I held her legs and Em had her arms." She was mumbling into Rossi's work jacket but you could still just make out the words "oh god, when she opened her eyes…she was so scared of us. She thought we were him." Garcia pulled back and wiped her makeup streaked face "We let her go and she ran into the bathroom before we got there she locked the door. We could hear her vomiting and crying but she just wouldn't let us in. That's when I called Morgan."

"Ok…" Hotch said and rubbed her arm in a comforting way "Lets go and see if they've made any progress."

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><p>The look on Garcia's face as she opened the door sent his heart plummeting to the bottom of his stomach but as much as he wanted to comfort her, he needed to get to JJ.<p>

He ran past the red head and down the hall to where Emily was crouched outside the closed door.

"Please JJ, open the door for me, everything will be ok just let me see your ok in there." Emily said from the floor with one hand on the white wood door

Morgan walked over and tried the door himself and as he expected the door was locked.

"Jayje, its Morgan, baby girl open the door for me." He gently knocked on the door but got no reply.

He slid down the wall on the other side of the door and just listened. Morgan could hear JJ sobbing and from the volume of the sounds he could tell she was just sitting on the other side of the door.

"What happened?" Morgan asked Emily and for the first time he got a good look at the state of the brunette. Her makeup had been cried away and she looked like she hadn't slept in months. It took a lot to make Emily Prentiss cry, her compartments to crumble and her best friend hurting was one of those things.

"She was having a nightmare and strangling her self." Emily sniffed and made eye contact with Morgan "She was turning blue. Pen and I had to hold her down to stop her from doing anymore damage."

"Jesus…" Morgan ran a hand over his bald head and sighed "Are you ok?"

"No…" Emily wiped away the fresh tears "We had to hold her down Morgan. I had to hold her hands above her head like they were when we found her." Emily let out a breath and tried to regain some type of control over her emotions.

"It's ok. You did the right thing Em. If you…" Morgan and Emily both jumped out of their skin when the sound of smashing glass came from the locked bathroom.

Both Morgan and Emily jumped to their feet.

"JJ open this door!" Morgan yelled.

"What the hell was that?" Reid asked. Morgan and Emily turned to see the other 4 agents standing behind them looking as worried as they did.

"That sounded like glass." Rossi said holding Garcia's hand.

"JJ if you don't open this door I'm going to kick it in." Morgan said as Emily continued to bang on it. He didn't want to think about what she was doing in there but after she tried to bump of the hospital roof he was worried she was going to try something stupid.

"JJ STOP!" Emily yelled over Morgan's banging on the door "What ever you're about to do or thinking of doing please stop and think about it…" Emily was as pail as a sheet and her hands were shaking. She knew the damage that could be caused with a single but of glass and she didn't want her best friend to resort the measures she had as a teenager "you don't have to do this. There are other ways of making it go away. But dont end it all now. Please JJ I'm begging you open the door. Don't let him win. He's taken so much from you Jayje don't let him take your life too."

Everyone paused waiting to see what JJ would do but it was taking to long for Morgan's liking.

"JJ you have 5 seconds…"

He got no reply. You could hear a pin drop in the apartment.

"5…" Morgan jiggled the door handle.

"4…"

"C'mon Jayje, please you scaring me!" Garcia cried.

"3…"

Morgan still got no answer and they couldn't hear anything.

"2…" That was when they heard it, the lock on the bathroom door unbolted but the door didn't open.

Morgan and Emily looked at each other, took deep breaths preparing themselves for what they were about to see and opened the door.

oOo

JJ practically threw her body over the toilet and vomited the content of her stomach up. She could hear Emily and Garcia's pleading but for some reason it wasn't registering in her head. As hard as she tried; as hard as she imagined her family she couldn't stop seeing him, feeling him and hearing him.

JJ sat back against the door pulled her knees to her chest and cried. She cried for the sister she lost, the life she once had that he took away again and most of all for the innocents she lost. It was taken away from her in a blink of an eye and it was an impurity that would never be fixed. A memory she could never forget.

After a bit the quite pleading from Emily outside the door and turned into Morgan's comforting voice asking her to open the door.

JJ couldn't open the door and face her family as broken as she was. She was hurting, not just physically but emotionally too. It took months for her to get some normality back at Horizon and she didn't want to have to fight with that again. She was sad because he had gotten to her again but most of she was angry; no JJ was furious with Walt for doing it again, for taking her life. Yes ok he hadn't killed her but he might as well have. He had taken away everything JJ believed in and loved again.

Then there was herself she was angry at; for thinking he wouldn't do it again, for letting it happen again and not fighting hard enough. For being weak and letting him break her when she promised herself she wouldn't and for letting her family down, for letting them see her as broken again.

JJ got up of the floor on shaky legs and walked over to the mirror above the sink. She rested her hands on the top for support and stared at the woman staring back at her.

In all the years JJ had been living the nightmare she never remembered looking so damaged and hurt. When she looked into her eyes she saw the things that not many people ever saw.

She could see the fear of Judgment that made her afraid of confrontation, the hopelessness that she didn't want to burden on anyone else. She saw the desperate need for companionship, just to feel safe in someone's arms; away from the world of monsters. She saw the fear of abandonment that made her keep everything locked away inside, making her afraid to truly love.

Jennifer Jareau looked in the mirror into the bright blue eyes and hated the person that looked back at her.

She raised her fist above her shoulder and with as much force and power as she could muster her fist came in contact with the figure staring back.

The mirror shattered and smashed with the contact sending fragments of glass flying everywhere. She couldn't feel the cuts the glass had made on her face or the sting of the glass in bedded in her fist but she could feel the ache in her heart for the innocents she wanted back.

Fists banging on the locked door brought JJ back to the moment and she could hear people yelling.

"JJ open this door!" JJ winced at Morgan's loud voice.

"Please just leave me alone" she whispered, not being heard by the people on the other side of the door.

JJ looked down in the sink and saw the blood running from her cut up hand and the shards of glass that lay there too. She picked up a particular sharp bit and ran it through her fingers. The idea of stopping everything seemed so appealing to her. That all the pain could stop and she would be at peace. She got a tight grip on the glass in her right hand and turned her left hand over so her wrist was facing up. 'One quick movement and it could all be over' the voice in her head told her. She waited for the second voice to tell her not to do it but it wasn't there. There was nothing telling her to stop and hold on anymore.

She took a deep breath and pressed the sharp glass to her delicate wrist.

"JJ STOP!" She jumped at the volume and urgency of Emily's voice. It was like she knew what JJ was about to do "What ever you're about to do or thinking of doing please stop and think about it…" JJ didn't want to think about it she just wanted everything to stop. The images, the feelings, the hurt and shame, the anger and the hate she just wanted it all over with "you don't have to do this. There are other ways of making it go away. But don't end it all now. Please JJ I'm begging you open the door. Don't let him win. He's taken so much from you Jayje don't let him take your life too." Emily's last few words seemed to get through to JJ and the voice she didn't hear came back full force telling her to listen to Emily. She didn't want to hurt them, she loved them to much for that but she had to find some way of making it all go away. She didn't want to dir she just wanted it all to stop.

JJ looked up into what was left of the mirror and locked eyes with herself again. This time she saw something she hadn't seen for a long time. It was something she saw the night she phoned the police to arrest Walt. She saw the fight and the part of her that didn't want to let him win.

"JJ if you don't open this door I'm going to kick it in." Morgan's shouting sent new waves of pain through her already painful head.

"JJ you have 5 seconds…"

She didn't move, just stared at herself.

"5…"

JJ could hear the door handle jiggle and looked down at the glass in her bloodied hand.

"4…" Morgan's voice bellowed

"C'mon Jayje, please you scaring me!"

There was something she could do about it, she could fight him now with the will and power she had all those years ago.

"3…"

With one final glance at herself; JJ dropped the glass in the sink, shuffled over to the door through the shattered glass on the floor.

"2…"

She reached the door and unlocked it, but didn't open the door. She went to sit on the edge of the tub trying to stop the new tears from falling and her body from shaking.

Emily was the first to see the state the bathroom and her friend was in. There was shattered glass everywhere, blood in the sink and some on the floor. Then there was JJ, her best friend, she was sat on the bath with tears in her eyes and bruises and blood round her neck. Emily saw that JJ was holding her right hand and could see the blood on it. Between the bloody hand and the broken mirror it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that JJ had punched the mirror. Then she saw something that scared her more than she had ever been. On JJ's left wrist there was a tiny cut, just small enough for a tiny drop of blood to drip out of it.

"Oh, Jay what are you doing to yourself?" Emily walked in carefully trying to avoid standing on the glass in socked feet. Morgan came in close behind the brunette leaving the door wide open for all the others to get a look in.

"Can someone find the first aid kit?" Morgan asked his four colleges behind him.

"Sure." Rossi said and vanished out of the doorway.

Morgan walked over to where Emily was crouched on the floor in front of JJ. He sat down next to the blonde and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Princess, look at me."

A tear slipped down her cheek and JJ moved her gaze further away.

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

Morgan and Emily gave each other a look of slight confusion.

"What are you sorry for JJ?" Emily asked.

"Not being strong enough…" The blonde continued to whisper as another tear slid down her cheek.

"Jayje, look at me please." JJ slightly shook her head "C'mon princess, let me see those beautiful eyes of yours." He saw JJ's lips twitch upwards and a small feeling of pride shot through him.

JJ lifted her head and looked round the room at the team then finally landing on Morgan.

"There they are." Morgan rested his hand on JJ's cheek and wiped away the tears with his thumb avoiding the tiny cuts on her face.

He always knew he loved the BAU team but it was in that moment that he realised he loved them like they were family and he would do anything to protect every single one of them "You don't have to be strong all the time, were all here to hold you up if you fall. You don't have to hurt on your own anymore JJ and no matter how much you beg us to leave or you push us away, it wont happen. Do you know why…" He wiped away another stray tear as she slightly shook her head "Because were all one dysfunctional little family"

JJ looked up at everyone else who were either nodding in agreement or had smiles on their faces then JJ did something that none of them were expecting; She flung herself forward and wrapped her arms round Morgan burring her head in the crock of his neck.

"Thankyou." She whispered only loud enough for him and Emily to hear.

Morgan reached up and wrapped his arms round the small woman but not before he wiped the tears from his eyes.

After a moment JJ pulled back and looked round her bathroom.

"7 years bad luck; great, because I could use more of that."

The entire team was shocked for a second by JJ's moment of humour and couldn't help themselves when they all burst out laughing. For the first time in a long time JJ's smile reached her eyes.

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><p><strong>AN... how was it?**

**next one will be at the weekend i know a lot of you want it sooner but im struggling with the end that im in the middle of writing and i dont want to get ahead of myself. im sorry! i am trying!**

**AJ xx **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N As you know every story has a beginning, middle and an end. the biginning was the abduction and finding JJ. the middle was her recovering and the end is whats coming next. Im not saying that this is almost over because i dont think it is their is still about 5 or 6 chapters left to go..**

**Im telling you this because this chapter is a filler if you will. It is small but i thought it was needed to tie up a few loose ends with the middle and beginning part. BUT not all of them some i made so they would stay till the end. **

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>With the bathroom cleared and JJ's hand and neck bandaged and taken care of the team sat round JJ sofa drinking coffee and tea.<p>

JJ covered her mouth with the back of her hand to block a yawn but it didn't work.

"You ok cupcake?" Garcia asked seeing JJ struggle to stay awake.

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired; the doctor said the meds would do that."

"Why don't you go to bed for a little bit, we'll stay here…" Rossi gave JJ a smile but it quickly fell when he saw what he had said distressed the blonde.

"No…" JJ started to panic, her heart started beating faster and her chest tightened. She couldn't lie on her bed it felt too much like his bed "No I don't want to, please."

"Hey, hey, JJ its ok. Take some deep breaths." Emily got up and crouched down in front of JJ "you don't have to, it's ok. Why don't you stay here and get some sleep, we'll go and talk in the kitchen."

JJ still didn't look too certain.

"We won't go anywhere; we'll be here when you wake up. Ok?" Emily put her hands on JJ's knee and the blonde nodded in agreement.

Morgan and Garcia stood from the sofa and Emily helped JJ lay down and covered her with a blanket.

The others made their way into the kitchen as Emily stayed with JJ for a minute. Just as she was drifting of to a much needed sleep Emily whispered "Were not going anywhere Jayje."

Emily placed a soft kiss on JJ's head and walked into the kitchen to find the others.

Morgan, Hotch and Garcia were sat round the table and Rossi and Reid were leaning against the counter.

Emily took the last seat at the table when Rossi asked "What did I say?" He had his arms over his chest and worry on his face much like a father would worry for a daughter.

"We had a chat last night." Emily sighed "And she admitted that she was afraid of sleeping in her own bed because it felt too much like the bed he had her on." Rossi nodded in understanding.

"But she can't sleep on the couch forever…" Reid said.

"Well one step at a time, at least she's getting some sleep."

"I guess…"

"What's that Hotch?" For the first time since the team had gotten to JJ's they noticed that Hotch had a brown folder in his hands.

"It's the file the doctor gave me at the hospital with detailed description of JJ's injuries." He placed the folder on the table "I figured you wouldn't call us here if something important didn't happen and thought we might need to read it."

"Do we?" Garcia asked shaky.

"I think we do princess." Morgan put a hand on Garcia knee under the table.

"I can't I'm sorry…" Garcia stood up.

"Its ok baby girl, we didn't expect you too."

"Illgo and sit with her." Garcia didn't wait for anyone to answer and just walked out of the small kitchen.

"So who wants to start?" Emily asked.

Hotch sighed and figures considering he is their Boss that he should be the one to read the unopened file. Also he was the one who seemed to be controlling his emotions better than the rest of the team and wanted to get this over with without having to stop.

He opened it and within seconds of reading the first few lines a deep scowl crossed his face; this was going to be just as hard for him to read out loud as it would be any of the others. He pulled out the pictures from the back of the file and laid them on the table which earned a growl from Rossi and Morgan and another loud gulp from Raid, Emily just sat there silent preparing for what she was about to hear.

"Ok…" Hotch took a deep breath and started talking "JJ had numerous bruises all over her body. It says from the depth, form and shape of them some were caused by hands and fists; obviously from where he beat her." He looked through the pile of pictures and pulled out some nasty ones of the bruised on her face which took the shape of clenched fists and hands "She had deep bruising round her throat from being strangled multiply times." Another picture came out which got a sniffle from Reid. You didn't need to look at him to know he was silently crying but paying attention. The others were almost at that stage too. Hotch pulled out another picture but this time it was one of JJ stomach "And some of the bruising on her stomach forms the shape of a belt buckle."

They went on like this for the next few hours, stopping about half way through so the 5 agents could compose themselves and have a minute.

By the time Hotch gathered the pictures and closed the file Reid had ran out of tears, Emily looked paler than thought possible and Rossi and Morgan looked like they were ready to kill someone.

"Ok now what do we do?" Reid asked quietly after a few minutes of silence.

"We need to get her to talk to someone other than us. Some of the things he did to her…" Rossi clenched his fists to get the images out of his head "It's not something she's going to be able to process of her own or even with us for that matter. She is going to need to talk to someone who is trained with this type of…" He paused to try and find a word that fitted with what had happened "…Torture"

"Rossi's right. As much as I hate to say it there's not a lot else we can do for her other than what we are doing. With the roof stunt and the bathroom she is struggling a lot more than we ever thought she was." Morgan looked up with sad eyes.

"I have a few friends that would be willing to help." Rossi said.

"Ok good…"

An ear piercing scream filled the kitchen and all 5 occupants ran towards the sound.

JJ was trashing in her sleep and Garcia was whispering sweet words to try and clam JJ.

"You're ok Buttercup. You're home now back where you belong."

"Someone help me!" JJ yelled.

"I'm here Jayje. Were all here to help you sweet pea, our superheroes saved you, open your eyes for me." Garcia glanced up and saw the others making their way into the room. The boy's stayed back a little trying not to crowd JJ but Emily came and joined Garcia in trying to wake their best friend.

"Pen please help me" JJ whispered still obviously asleep but slowly waking up.

"That's it buttercup, it's me, I'm right here, why don't you open your eyes and see for yourself." Garcia brushed away the hair from JJ's face.

Slowly the blondes blue eyes opened and looked up at the red head, instantly tears filled her eyes and Garcia didn't wait a second before she scooped JJ into her arms.

"It's ok, your gonna be fine Jayje." Garcia rubbed calming circles in JJ's back and Emily did in Garcia. Comforting JJ was taking it out on the red head.

"I'm sorry." JJ whispered as she finally calmed down.

"I sewer to god JJ, if you say your sorry one more time I'm…I'm going to throw all your chettos out of the window." Emily said looking into JJ's blue eyes.

Her small statement put a small spark in JJ's eye and the blonde let out a small chuckle along with the rest of the team.

It was in that moment that they all knew that with the right help and love from her family JJ was going to be ok.

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><p><strong>AN... as i said weekend and it is. Sorry for the length but it was needed. **

**Please tell me what you think and if there are any questions you want answered. **

**AJ xx **


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N And here is the beginning of the end!**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>It was 5 weeks since JJ had been kidnapped by Walt and 4 weeks since she had been realised from the hospital when The team were put back on rotation and Emily had just received the dreaded call from Hotch telling her they had a case.<p>

"Are you sure you're going to be ok JJ." Emily asked with her go-bag in her hand.

"Yes Em, Pen is coming over once she has finished work and she's going to stay for a few days. I'm a big girl." The blonde gave Emily a smirk.

Over the past few weeks all the bruises had healed as had most of the cuts. She still had a few and a lot of scars that would fade with time. JJ still had nightmares every night and woke up screaming and crying. It always took Emily a good 15 minutes to calm her friend and most of the time she would end up sleeping in the bed with JJ as a form of comfort for the blonde which Emily didn't mind. In all honesty she preferred to stay in JJ's bed that way she could stop a nightmare before it took full effect and she felt comforted knowing the blonde was safe next to her.

"Are you sure, I don't think Hotch would mind if I missed this case out."

"Emily, go or you'll be late. I will call you tonight." JJ reassured Emily with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Over the past week the friend's relationship had become a lot closer if it were even possible.

"Ok…" Emily sighed reluctantly and opened the door "I'll see you soon."

"Bye." JJ waived to Emily from the door. Once the brunette had disappeared from view JJ closed the door and slid down it resting her head to her knees.

Over the past week she had been having constant headaches which she thought was the lack of sleep she was getting but paired with the recent nausea she had been having JJ was starting to get worried.

She had a knot of worry in the pit of her stomach kept growing and the voice in the back of her head had gotten louder over the past few days.

JJ pulled herself up off the floor and grabbed her jacket from the hook and her keys from the bowel.

She walked out of her apartment building, trough the park and along the row of shops on auto-pilot. She stopped outside the pharmacy and tried to shake the feeling of dread as she walked in.

JJ's recovery was going extremely well. The bleed on her brain had almost gone and she hadn't had a nose bleed in a few weeks. All of her broken bones had healed and all of the small cuts and bruises had gone although the deeper ones were still visible, they were no longer stitched and parts of her body were still feeling extremely painful and if she moved the wrong way pain shot through out her entire body. Emily had suggested JJ go and talk to a doctor about it thinking they had missed something but JJ brushed her off telling her friend not to worry.

40 minutes later and after a long tiring walk round the park JJ was stood in her bathroom staring down at the home pregnancy kit that was sat next to the sink. Her hands were shaking and she thought she was going to be sick.

As well as the feeling of dread she was still angry, at nobody but herself. And as the days wore on she could feel her old habits coming back. When talking to the team or the physiatrist Hotch had arranged, JJ had managed to keep the nasty comments to herself but it didn't stop her thinking them or giving her friends a Shelby look every now and again. But JJ forced Shelby to stay locked in her head and refused to let her out no matter how much she knew it would be a comfort to hide behind the damaged girl. She didn't want to become that person again because that would have meant Walt had won and that was the last thing she wanted. JJ managed to put most of it in boxes in her head, a trick she had learnt at a young age but she knew that if the test came back positive she would have to face everything. She was afraid, no scratch that Jennifer Jareau was petrified of the outcome.

But at that moment in time she didn't have the nerve to do it. So the next few hours were spent with her doing anything and everything she could think of to take her mind of the test in the bathroom. JJ cleaned the kitchen, front room and her room till they were all spotless. Then she went through all the files she had in her study trying to reorganise them but found that there was nothing to really sort out so JJ decided to go through everything on her computer; the files, work and not work, the pictures and the videos everything.

By the time JJ finished and couldn't find anything else to do and it was 2 hours before Garcia was due to come round.

JJ hated the feeling of being nerves and scared and was fed up of feeling so she made her way to the bathroom just closing the door behind her.

Taking a breath to steady her shaking nerves JJ did what she had to do and left the bathroom a few minutes later. She had left the kit on the bathroom sink and set the timer on her phone.

JJ wondered round her condo for a moment trying to find something else to do to keep her mind occupied for the next 3 minutes but couldn't find anything as she had done it all already so she went into her room and pulled out a box from under her bed. It had taken a few weeks but JJ had finally managed to sleep in her own bed, it took some coaching from the whole team and some serious money spend on a new one but slowly she was managing to push past the fact that she was scared of it.

She sat on the bed and placed the box on her lap. She ran her hands over the writing. She remembered sitting in her room as the age of about 11 and writing on the box.

'My Childhood' it said it brightly coloured marker pens. It was filled with Photos and drawn pictures she had before the abuse started.

JJ lifted the top of and placed it beside her looking at the first picture on the top of the pile. It was one of her and Jess. They both looked so happy and innocent; they didn't have a care it the world. She lifted that one and looked at the next and this was the one that stabbed at her heart.

It was the last picture that was taken of her before he came into her room on that horrid first night. She and Jess were sat on the couch hugging each other with bright blue eyes staring at the camera and stunning smiles too. JJ turned the picture over and read the words.

'Me and Shel on her 10th birthday just before bed' a smile crossed JJ's face as she looked at the scruffy blue hand writing. It was written by Jess. Pride and sadness filled JJ's heart. She missed her baby sister. She had never gotten over how guilty she felt for leaving Jess and wished with every fibre of her being that she could take it all back and change how things happened.

The phone started to buzz on the bed signing that JJ's 3 minutes were up. She placed the box on the bed and stood on shaky legs. The next minute could possible change the course of JJ's future for ever as well as open a can of worms she wasn't sure she wanted to open.

JJ numbly walked to the bathroom door and rested her hand on the door handle. It was only when she felt the tears on her cheeks that she realised she was crying. Silent tears were slipping down her cheeks.

She pushed the door open and stared at the test from the door way unable to see the result.

If it came back negative then everything would be ok she could continue building her life again. JJ could go back to work and continue catching monsters with the people she loved.

But if the test came back positive everything she had gained in the past few weeks would be gone. JJ would slip further back into the darkness again. She wouldn't be able to try and forget anymore, there would be a constant reminder there of when had happened.

Taking a deep breath to try and suppress the feeling of vomit JJ took a step towards the sink so she was just close enough to see the results.

Her heart plummeted and she took a step back before running out of the room. She had to get as far away from it as she could but JJ only made it to the kitchen before she emptied her stomach into the sink then collapsed onto the wooden floor. JJ put her head in her hands and sobbed. It wasn't one of those quite cries, this was one that begged and pleaded for answers that couldn't be given. It was a cry that would shatter many hearts but there weren't any round to shatter, she was alone, with no one to comfort her.

JJ lay on her kitchen floor crying herself into oblivion unable to cope with the fact that she was pregnant.

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><p><strong>AN... sorry for the length again everyone and maybe the next few but this is where my major writers block started. but i think its ok. **

**Please tell me what you think and if there are any questions you want answered. **

**AJ xx **


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N I got some reviews on the last chapter saying they hate that I made JJ pregnant. I did that as I felt it would make what I've got coming better but everything will make sense soon please trust me! criminalmind4eva & Damhill please hang in there with me...when ever have i let you down? and that goes for all of you trust me!**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>The team had been called out to a case that morning and they had all been busy trying to figure it out and get home.<p>

Garcia was sitting in the bat cave about an hour before she was due to finish; typing away on her computer trying to find any connection between the victims.

She was just getting in the swing of things again after taking a sip of coffee when her phone rang.

"Speak and be heard me pretty." Garcia beamed still taping.

"Hey pen its me…" Emily's voice sounded a little worried and Garcia stopped what she was doing immediately.

"You ok Em?"

"I'm not sure, have you spoken to JJ today?"

"Not since before you left this morning. Why is everything ok?" Now Garcia was starting to panic.

"I tried to call the house phone and her cell but I got no answer. She always picks up one or the other."

"ok hang on and stay on the line I will try and conference call her." Garcia tapped the buttons she needed to tap and the sound of a ringing phone was heard from both Garcia and Emily.

"Hi this is Agent Jareau…" Garcia cut the line.

"She always answerers her cell." Garcia sounded even more worried.

"I know, Pen I'm worried, can you…"

"No need to say another word my dark haired beauty, I'm leaving now. Tell boss man I send him the information he was after and I'll call you as soon as I get to JJ."

"Ok, Thanks pen."

"No problem sugar, hurry up and get back home to us."

Garcia hung up the phone and ran as fast as she could in the heals she was wearing to her car.

She drove to JJ's condo like a maniac. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach and didn't like it one bit.

Garcia tapped on the door, not wanting to startle the blonde if she was asleep. After a few seconds she knocked a little louder and when she still go no reply the bad feeling grew a little.

"She's just gone for a walk, that's it. She's just out walking. Don't panic Penelope, try her phone again." Garcia told herself to calm down "There's nothing to worry about." Over the past few months JJ had been coming on leaps and bounds. She was doing so well and Garcia never thought she could be any prouder of JJ. Although she still had the nightmares and some of her injuries still hurt she was doing brilliantly. She wasn't cowering away from the men like she used to and she was talking to all of them, as well as a physiologist that Rossi had gotten in touch with.

She pressed speed dial 2 on her cell and waited for JJ to answer. That was when she heard JJ's cell ringing on the other side of the door and knew something was wrong.

"JJ!" Garcia wailed while banging loudly on the door "Its Pen! Open up!" Garcia still heard nothing but silence from the other side of the door and started rummaging round in her bag for JJ's door key.

"C'mon you piece of…Gotcha!"

Garcia fumbled with the lock for a second before the door flung open and she ran in dropping her bag in the floor and slamming the door closed.

"JJ where are you!"

She walked in the living room and saw no sight of JJ only her cell phone sitting on the coffee table. She walked out of there and into the next room.

"Oh My JJ!"

She had spotted JJ lying on the cold kitchen floor. Her legs pulled to her chest and her face was tear stained. JJ's eyes were closed and it looked like she was sleeping but for some reason Garcia knew otherwise.

"JJ?" Garcia dropped to her knees after spotting the vomit in the sink and gently rolled JJ onto her back.

"Jayje wake up please." She gently shook the blondes shoulder "C'mon buttercup".

She could hear Garcia voice through the thick fog in her head and she could feel a gentle hand on her shoulder. Showily some of the fog started to clear and she opened her eyes only for them to be assaulted by the kitchen light above her.

She opened her eyes again, slower this time to give her eyes a chance to adjust and faster than she thought possible everything came rushing back. Walt, her injuries and then the positive pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom counter, then she remembered Garcia knelt next to her.

"Whoa there Buttercup, where you going?" JJ pushed herself up to sitting with Garcia's help.

"I need to…" JJ tried to stand up but she didn't get half way before her wobbly legs gave way and she landed back on the floor.

"Ok, Just stay there JJ. I'm gonna get you some water." Garcia quickly went over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Thanks." JJ took a sip.

Garcia sat down on the floor leaning against the cupboards next to JJ.

"How you feeling?"

When JJ didn't reply Garcia looked over at her and saw a far off expression on her face and for the first time since getting into the apartment she got a good look at JJ. Her skin was paler than normal, her eyes weren't as bright as they had been and they were red and puffy from crying and if you looked at her hands close enough you could see the shake in them.

"JJ…" Garcia said a little louder which seemed to work.

"…Yeah?" JJ looked a little startled.

"Are you ok sugar?"

JJ looked a little confused for a second as if Garcia had asked a daft question "Oh yeah I'm fine." She said with no emotion in her voice.

If Garcia was worried before she most defiantly was now and she wanted to ask Emily what to do.

"What happened JJ?"

She could see the panic in the blondes eyes, something had defiantly happened and she was going to try and find out what.

"I…erm…I'm…" She was so close to telling Pen right then but It wouldn't come out "I…I went out th…this morning and I came back exhausted. Guess I passed out." She thought she covered well enough.

Garcia looked at her suspiciously for a minute but didn't push it anymore.

"Ok I'm going to get a cloth from the bathroom to clean you up a little." She got up of the floor and headed to the stairs but almost jumped out of her skin then JJ yelled.

"NO! WAIT!" She couldn't let her go in the bathroom the test was still on the sink. She got up as fast as her body would let her and walked over to Garcia "Its ok, i…I'm going to take a shower. Make your self at home." JJ gave Garcia a smile that didn't reach her eyes and didn't wait for a reply before turning and walking away.

"Call me if you need me!" Garcia yelled after her and heard some kind of mumble in return.

She went into the kitchen and cleaned the water and vomit in the sink away, as well as poring half a bottle of bleach down the plug hole.

Once she was happy that it was clean in there she pulled out her cell and sat down on the couch and dialled the number she needed.

"Prentiss."

"Hey Em it's me…" Garcia sighed.

"Penelope I heard that! What's wrong what happened?"

"What? What happened?" Morgan's voice came over the phone.

"Well…i…erm…" She wasn't sure if she should tell them or not. Garcia didn't want to worry them anymore.

"Baby girl c'mon talk to us…" Morgan said.

"When I got here she wouldn't open up so I let myself in."

"Ok." Emily said.

"And…" Morgan pushed.

"And I found her out cold on the kitchen floor and vomit in the sink."

"WHAT?" Emily yelled and Garcia pulled her ear away from the device and Emily's shriek.

"Ouch princess that was my ear!"

"Shut up Morgan. What happened is she ok?"

"She said she went out this morning and it was from exhaustion but…" Garcia bit her lip "There's something else I can see it in her eyes."

"Try and get her to talk to you Pen but don't push too hard it will only push her further away ok?" Emily sighed.

"Yeah ok." Garcia whispered. She hated the fear and worry that seemed to be constant in her life at the minute. The worry for JJ that maybe she won't be ok and the fear that the second unsubs they couldn't find would come back and hurt JJ again or worse kill her.

"Hotch is calling us we've got to go but I'll call you later."

"Ok go catch the bad guy so you can come home and help save our girl."

"We will, talk to you soon baby girl."

"Bye Pen." With that Emily hung up the phone leaving Garcia listening to the shower running from her seat.

An hour later JJ walked into the front room. She was clean and dressed, the test has been disposed of so it wouldn't be found and her hair was still damp. She gently plopped herself down on the sofa next to Garcia and they both sat in silence waiting for the other to start.

Eventually JJ couldn't take it anymore.

"Hi" she whispered earning herself a small chuckle and smile from her best friend "Pen I'm sorry…"

"You don't have to apologies sweet pea. I'm just worried about you that's all." Garcia looked at the blonde next to her and noticed the bright red marks on her arms from where she had been scrubbing her skin again. Garcia took JJ's arm in her hands and gently rubbed her fingers over the blood spots. She couldn't imagine how much it hurt or what it felt like to need to hurt your body like that and it made her feel a little sick that her best friend felt that need.

"It doesn't matter how hard I scrub I can't seem to get him off me…" JJ whispered, ashamed that she was keeping such a massive secret from one of her best friends.

"I'm so sorry we didn't get there sooner JJ, none of us thought that he was going to try anything. We…"

"Stop Pen" JJ interrupted Garcia apologies "You have nothing to be sorry for. I didn't think he was going to come back either, so don't apologise and you all got there as fast as you could." JJ rested her head on Garcia's shoulder.

They sat in dead silence only the ticking of the clock on the wall could be heard.

"How about we watch a movie, order some take out and hang out?"

"Yeah I'd like that."

And that's how they spend the rest of the evening and the few after that. JJ would spend the days alone scaring herself and thinking, trying to figure out what she was going to do. In the evenings Garcia would come round and stay with JJ and she would try and forget for just a little while and have a good time with her friend.

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><p><strong>AN... soooooo i know nothing to exiting happened but p****lease tell me what you think and if there are any questions you want answered. **

**AJ xx **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N PLEASE READ! I took this part out of the last chapter and i have re written it. i got a review from the brilliant starie78 giving me this idea and my muse grabbed onto it and wouldnt let go. So i have re written it and hopefully you ill like it. **

**Their might be a few more mistakes and errors than normal but concidering i've only just finshed writing this (it took me a few hours i couldnt get my muse to stop) i hope you dont mind plus you get 2 chapters in a day LUCKY YOU! **

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>The case the rest of the team had been on was a lot easier to solve than they all thought it would and they were home within 4 days of leaving. It doesn't mean to say it was any less horrifying then any other because it was, men being dragged of into the woods and slaughtered was horrifying. All their cases were nasty but some unsubs weren't as smart as they liked to think.<p>

Emily walked through the front door just as the clock struck 2am, they didn't normally leave so early but everyone wanted to get home and rest, it was just as they were getting of the jet that Hotch informed them all that they didn't have to be in the office for a few days.

She dropped her go bag in the hall and went to find JJ and Garcia.

She walked into the front room to see Garcia sleeping on the couch with the credits rolling to some movie they had been watching and popcorn all over the floor from the toppled over bowl but there was no sign of JJ in the little scene that would normally make her smile

JJ not being there worried her slightly as there were no other sounds she could hear in the apartment. She checked the kitchen and no JJ then Emily checked the study and again still no JJ. By now she could feel her heart rate start to rise a little and feel the panic building.

"Calm down Prentiss shes just upstairs." Emily told herself.

She made her way up the stairs and stopped listening for any noise. That was when she heard what she though was a sob and a cough. Emily followed to where she thought the noise was. She walked into JJ's dark bedroom. Their were pictures scattered all over the bed and the room looked like a mess. The only light that was visible was the light coming through the crack in the bathroom door.

That was when she heard the noise again. JJ was gagging. Emily quickly made her way round the bed and to the door. The smell of vomit was evident even before she opened it.

She did open it and hated what she saw.

JJ was hunched over the toilet vomiting whatever was left in the stomach. Her hair looked slightly damp with sweat and was sticking to JJ's pail and clammy skin.

Emily walked over and crouched down next to her pulling JJ's hair back and making the blonde jump in the process.

JJ started to fight off the unknown source next to her and pulled away.

"JJ it's me, its Emily, your ok…"

JJ turned round and looked scared at Emily. She didn't want her to find out about the baby she was still struggling with the idea and didn't want her best friend to be disgusted by the news.

Just as she was about to ask Emily to leave a new wave of nausea came over her and she threw herself over the toilet again.

When JJ looked at her, Emily's heart broke for maybe the 100th time in just a few weeks. JJ's eyes were dark again and not bright like they were when she left. Her cheeks were sunken in a little and the bags under the blondes eyes made her look 10 years older than she was. She had tears running down her cheeks mixing in with the sweat.

JJ threw her self over the toilet forcing up what was left. It took a few minutes but the retching did finally stop and JJ sat back not looking up to meet Emily's look.

Emily got up and grabbed a couple of clod cloths from the sink pressing one against JJ's forehead and sat back down cleaning JJ up a little.

"JJ look at me." Emily whispered.

JJ shook her head "Please leave Prentiss."

It hurt that JJ used Emily's last name but the brunette knew JJ was trying to distance herself from the situation and it was one way she could do it.

"I'm not going to leave you in this state Jayje. Now please look at me."

It too a few seconds but JJ did look up at Emily.

JJ took a deep breath to steady the shaking feeling all over her body and to seem stronger than she felt "Please Emily I'm fine, i…it just a bug…"

"JJ stop…" Emily sighed "Its 2am and your sat on your bathroom after vomiting for god knows how long and your unable to stop the silent tears. I don't think you know your even crying JJ."

And Emily was right JJ didn't realise it and now it was like Emily's words caused the flood gates to open. She buried her head in her hands and sobbed. Her breath got stuck in her chest and she could feel herself panicking.

Emily knew JJ was struggling but she also knew that JJ was getting better. She was coping a lot better with everything and this…breakdown didn't make sense to her.

She pulled the hysterical blonde into her arms and gently ran her fingers through her hair, silently trying to figure out what was going on.

After a minute Emily had a thought that made her own stomach turn. She didn't want to think it true but it made sense, the vomiting the crying the incident with Garcia in the kitchen.

'Oh god please don't be true.' Emily thought to herself.

JJ was starting to hyperventilate in Emily's arms and she knew it a matter of moments it would turn into a full of panic attack if she didn't do something fast. Emily pulled back from JJ.

"JJ I need you to calm down for me ok." She watched as JJ tried to take a few deep breaths but it didn't work and she started to panic even more.

Emily put her hands on either side of JJ's face.

"Jayje I want you to close your eyes for me." JJ did as she was told "That's it. Ok now listen to my voice. Try and take some deep breaths again." It took a few tries but JJ's breathing slowly came under control and she opened her eyes.

"I need to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth ok. What every you say, it'll be ok I'll be right here beside you."

JJ knew what Emily was about to ask her. The brunette was a world class profiler after all and she hadn't been able to hide much of her emotion since Emily had gotton in the room.

"JJ…" Emily could feel her own eyes tearing up and she watched JJ's do the same "JJ…are you pregnant?"

Emily didn't need an answer JJ's reaction was enough to tell her everything. The blonde let out a strangled sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Tears slipped from her eyes as did the same with Emily.

"Oh Jayje…" There were so many emotions running through Emily in that moment. Hate, anger, regretted, dread, doubt… the list could go on but the one that sat high up the top of that list was fear. She was scared about what this was going to do to JJ.

After the minute it took for the shock to wear of Emily sat up against the cabinet and JJ rested her head on the brunettes lap and that's how the pair stayed for a good hour.

JJ silently thinking about…everything. What was she going to do? How was she going to get through this? Was she ever going to get out of this nightmare?

Emily silently praying that everything will be ok and that this wouldn't push JJ completely over the edge. And what about the team, what was she going to tell them? Was she going to tell them? Emily had loads of questions than needed answering.

"JJ…" Emily whispered not sure if the blonde had fallen asleep or not and still running her fingers through JJ's now dry hair.

"Mmmmmm…." JJ responded quietly.

"What are you going to tell the rest of the team?"

JJ sat up next to Emily and brought her knees to her chest.

"I'm not…"

"JJ you have…"

"Em, I can't." JJ knew Emily was about to go on about the fact that the team needed to know but she couldn't handle anyone else knowing right now "I haven't even come to terms with it. If you hadn't walked in here and seen the state I was in I wouldn't have told you either. I don't know what I'm going to do Em, I don't know how their going to take it. Are they going to think I'm a complete slut or…"

"JJ…" Emily shifter so she was facing her friend "They would never think that, they will be right behind you every step of they way just like I will be."

"I can't Em not yet please…" In her eyes Emily saw how much JJ just needed time and that was what she was going to give JJ time.

"Ok, but it doesn't mean I'm going to pretend like nothings happened, you do realise that."

"Yeah." JJ gave Emily a small smile "Everything hurts Em." JJ saw the confusion and worry in Emily "Not physically but emotionally. My head hurts all the time the flashback and nightmares are awful and my heart too. I don't know how much more of this I can take." JJ looked down at her lap ashamed of admitting she felt weak.

"It's ok JJ and it's to be expected. You've been through so much. Not just in the last months but in your whole life. You've been through more than a single person would go through in 5 life times. But you know what's amazing?" JJ looked up at Emily and shook her head "Your still here and fighting. Life has thrown you some nasty hurdles but you made it over them and look at you your amazing, smart, strong, beautiful and completely kick ass." Both woman giggled slightly "And this" Emily rested her hand on JJ's non existent baby bum "Is another hurdle for you to cope with and you will" Emily put her other hand on JJ's cheek "With me right by your side."

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><p><strong>AN... Im going to admit im quite proud of myself! i do like this chapter and i didnt want JJ to have to suffer all on her own. **

**p****lease tell me what you think and if there are any questions you want answered. **

**AJ xx **


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N i was going to make JJ real with everything all on her own but i thought that might be mean so emily found out and i glad she did.**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>A few weeks later JJ was finally allowed to go back on desk duty much to her relief. Being at home all the time was driving her insane, there was only so much day time TV one person could take. The past week she didn't see the point of being at home; all her injuries had healed and only left fading scars in their place. She still kept the pregnancy to herself. JJ still hadn't figured out what to do but the idea of something good coming out of the nightmare she was going through was starting to sound really appealing to her, she was also still worried about what the team would say and do if they found out, Emily kept reassuring her it would all be ok but JJ still wasn't convinced. If JJ really thought about it she was worried they would think she was a slut for keeping the child.<p>

The only symptoms she was getting was the morning sickness which she could handle now she was back to living on her own again. Emily had reluctantly moved back into her condo about a week before JJ had agreed that Emily couldn't stay forever but Emily wanted to stay for a while longer but JJ managed to persuade her otherwise but still called JJ everyday to see how she was getting on much like the rest of the team and Emily was always there to take JJ to all of her appointments sometimes with Morgan with her depending on what appointment is was.

JJ was brought out of her thoughts by a loud knock at her office door.

"Come in!" She called.

Emily's head pop round the corner.

"How you feeling?" Emily asked closing the door behind her.

"Ok, a bit queasy but that's normal." JJ gave her a tired smile. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and was exhausted, plus not being allowed coffee was making everything seem a lot worse.

"So how does it feel to be back?" Emily asked with a little excitement in her voice.

JJ giggled a little "Ok 1. I've only been in the office for 15 minutes. 2. You brought me here this morning and 3. its Friday so I once today is over I have 2 whole days to do nothing again."

Emily just laughed "True I guess but still 15 minutes is a long time when you haven't been in for months."

"Yeah, it's a bit… strange. So much has happened since I was last here, it's like I'm not meant to be here." JJ unconsciously put her hand on her stomach; Emily saw it but didn't want to bring attention to it. Over the past few weeks that had only had a few conversations about the baby and they were heavy conversations at one point Emily told JJ about the abortion she had as a teenage and admitted that is was one of the reasons for the problems she suffered.

JJ was still unsure about what she was going to do. Emily didn't mind keeping it to herself still at the minute as JJ wouldn't be going out into the field she would be staying at the office but when JJ was cleared to go into the field Emily was going to push JJ more if she still hadn't made a decision.

"Do you think you're not ready to be back?" Emily asked a little worried that JJ pushed her recovery to hard.

"God no, I don't think I could have lasted another day at home its just… I don't know it's a weird feeling. I haven't been into the bullpen yet, I don't think I can handle all the other agents staring and looking at me"

"Hey now," Emily lent over the desk and took JJ's hands in hers "You should be proud. You're still standing, after everything that's happened your still here and still fighting. Don't give a rats ass what any of them think, plus they've all been warned if they even look at you the wrong way they'll have myself and Morgan to deal with plus Pen said they would put them enough debt to last till the next millennium."

"Great now their all going to be avoiding me like the plague." JJ rolled her eyes.

"I get it JJ I do but you've got us here with you. Don't worry about all of them. Just give it time everything will go back to normal soon enough."

'That's what you think' JJ silently thought.

She smiled and thanked the brunette.

"Right I had better get some work done!" Emily got up and walked to the door "You going to be ok?"

"Yes. Thankyou Em."

"Anytime. I'll see you at lunch…" JJ looked at Emily confused "Me and Pen are taking you out."

"Ok." JJ smiled from ear to ear. The thought of getting out of the office for a little was very appealing.

Emily was closing the door when she remembered and popped her head back in "Oh before I forget. Hotch said he has a very exited little boy at home that wants all his aunties and uncles to go to his soccer game tomorrow." Emily watched a new smile filled JJ's face and this time it reached her eyes. It was evident that the blonde had a soft spot for the small Hotchner "You up for it?"

"Tell him I wouldn't miss it for the world." JJ grinned exited that her weekend wouldn't be as boring and filled with worried as she knew it would be. Also exited that she would get to see her favourite little boy again.

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><p>JJ flopped down at her desk after returning from lunch with Garcia and Emily. The three went to a cute little deli just round the corner from the office.<p>

She was kind of looking forward to getting back to work and getting back into some kind of routine but she wasn't expecting it to knock her for 6. JJ was exhausted and had only been in for a few hours. She was re-thinking her statement she made to Emily earlier and was glad that it was a Friday and that the weekend was right round the corner.

She was just starting to get back into the swing of things again after her break when a knock at her door made her jump out of her skin. Hotch popped his head round the corner.

"Jesus Hotch." JJ said with one hand on her chest to steady her heart rate and again subconsciously one on her stomach. When she realised where that hand was she quickly moved it.

"Sorry JJ." He gave her a dimple smile as he walked in and closed the door "So how are you doing?"

JJ sighed and closed her eyes in frustration. He was the 7th person to ask her that today. He was the next in a list that included Strauss. She loved that they all cared so much but it was starting to get a little irritating.

"I'm fine Hotch." JJ tried to make it sound strong and confident but that wasn't the way it came out. It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself more than Hotch.

He gave her a look that told her he knew she was lying and within a second of her receiving it her walls started to crumble and tears filled the blonde's eyes.

She knew that it was her hormones playing up but it was also the normal emotions; the ones she would still feel if she weren't pregnant, they just seemed to bubble to the surface a lot faster.

Hotch got up from the chair on the other side of the desk and walked round so he was knelt down next to the crying blonde.

"You're not really fine are you?" he whispered tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He only received a small shake of her head. He sighed and wrapped his arms round JJ.

Her silent cries became small sobs in his arms and he whispered sweet whispered words in her ear as he gently rocked them much like a father would a daughter.

Eventually her cries stopped and she sat up to wipe away her tears.

"Sorry Hotch." JJ looked at him with shame filling her pail features "You didn't come in here for me to cry on your shoulder." She sighed in defeat and continued not really sure how she was going to word her next statement "I'm just so…" She stopped not knowing how to go on.

"Overwhelmed? Scared?" Hotch had an idea of some of the things she was feeling. He too had been in a similar position after Foyet had stabbed him.

JJ nodded her head "the last time I was in my office…in the building in fact everything sort of made sense." JJ sniffed trying to stop herself from crying again "I knew who I was and what I was. I had finally started to understand why everything happened and then it all changed and I feel like that scared little girl again and I hate it Hotch. I hate that it all stopped making sense again." She couldn't stop the tears no matter how hard she tried but these were tears of anger and nothing more.

"JJ look at me." When she did he took her hands in his "It will make sense again one day. You'll just have to give it time. But you know what the difference is now?" She slightly shook her head "You're not alone anymore. We know and we are here, all of us. You can talk, fight or even scream at us. We will help you make sense of it all again JJ. I promise you that…" He lifted a finger to wipe away the tears that had fallen from JJ's eyes "And it's ok to be scared. To be honest with you id be a little worried if you weren't." They both let out a chuckle.

JJ conscious started to get the better of her in that moment and she wanted to tell him about the baby, she had so much respect for him and loved Hotch like he was family and hated lying to him. She knew Hotch would help support her with whatever she needed just like Emily was.

"Hotch, there's something I need to tell you" She could feel her heart flutter in her chest and butterfly's in her stomach.

"Ok…" Hotch still held onto both of her hands. He could see the look of fear and worry in her eyes and that worried him.

"I…" she was about to revel her big secret when Hotch's cell rang in his pocket.

'Damn it' he cursed in his head ready to snap at who ever was on the other end of the phone "Give me a second JJ." He gave her a small smile and grabbed his cell out of his pocked and stood up "What!..." he growled a little more than would have been needed but he didn't care at that point. It was Strauss on the other end and she wanted him in her office now "Fine I'll be there in a minute ma'am." Hotch hung up the phone and looked back at JJ. She no longer looked worried or scared it was obvious that she had rebuilt her walls while he was on the phone and he doubted he would get them back down again now but he was going to try.

While Hotch was on the phone JJ did a complete 180 and changed her mind. She couldn't do it. She didn't want to burden someone else she loved with her problems.

She saw him look down at her after ending his call and knew what was going through his head but she wasn't going to change her mind.

He knelt back down in front of her and rested his hands on her knees.

"What did you want to tell me Jayje?" Hotch pushed.

"Nothing it doesn't matter." She gave him a tight smile and he sighed.

"What ever it is JJ its ok, you can tell me…"

"It's fine Hotch." JJ stood from her chair and so did Hotch "You had better go before Strauss sends out a search party for you."

He backed away slightly and mad his way to the door with his shoulders hanging slightly in defeat.

"Ok, well I'm at the end of a phone if you need me JJ ok?"

She gave him a nod and another tight smile before sitting back at her desk and getting on with her work.

Hotch shook his head and left making his way to his boss's office willing to try and push JJ to tell him what she wanted to tell him in the first place

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><p><strong>AN... the next chapter wont be up till the middle of next week. IM SORRY things are a bit of a nightmare at the minute but im not leaving you!**

**p****lease tell me what you think and if there are any questions you want answered. **

**AJ xx **


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N i didnt get many reviews on the last chapter was it not a good as the others?**

**im sorry im slow at the minute things are still...tough at home and im trying to write as much as i can.**

**this chapter is for all my beautiful reviewers but most of all its for Cheeto-Breath shes lovely! read her fics!**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>Friday finished faster than JJ thought it would and Saturday came even faster. JJ was standing in her kitchen drinking soda and eating crackers trying to get the morning sickness to stop when there was a knock at her door.<p>

She rushed to put the crackers away and the soda in the bin. With one last look around the kitchen to make sure there was nothing to give away her secret she walked to the door and unlocked the latch.

"C'mon cupcake I really need to pee." She heard Garcia beg from the other side.

"Why didn't you go before we left mama?" Morgan chuckled.

"Because I didn't need to go then smarty pants now hush. JJ hurry up!"

"Ok ok I'm hurrying." She pushed the nausea feeling down with a deep breath and opened the door only to be almost knocked down by Garcia running past.

"Morning baby girl." Morgan walked in through the open door and gave JJ a hug and a kiss on her head.

"Morning Derek." JJ hugged the man back and noticed Reid standing in the door way "Hey Spence." JJ untangled herself from the large man and hugged the doctor.

In the weeks JJ had been free from her captive her relationship with the young doctor had taken a bit of a knock. Not because he was disgusted with her like she thought everyone would but because he didn't know how to act round her with everything that had happened, but now things were finally starting to get back on track with the pair. Now she was worried what the news of a baby would do to him.

"Good morning JJ." Reid smiled less uncomfortable than normal.

"Do either of you want a coffee?" Although JJ had secretly stopped drinking the stuff she still had some at home for when the team went round to keep up pretences and for whenever Emily went round. Every cup the team made her the day before had been poured into the large plant she had in her office.

"We'd better not, if were late jack will kill us!" Morgan laughed and JJ nodded her head in agreement "C'mon mama were gonna be late!" Morgan yelled back into the condo to Garcia.

"In coming, I'm coming don't get your dashing Y fronts in a knot!" Garcia walked into the hallway and hugged JJ good morning.

"How do you know….never mind." The things Garcia knew about him scared Derek sometimes "LETS GO!"

"Wait! Let me get my jacket!" It wasn't the nicest day outside and the weather man said it might rain. She grabbed it just as Morgan pushed his 3 colleges out of the door and closed it behind him.

The four friends walked out of the apartment building and over to Morgan's parked SUV completely oblivious of the dark truck that was watching them.

No less than 15 minutes later Morgan had parked his dark SUV and the men and woman were climbing out. Garcia squealed as she saw all the 5 year olds running on the soccer field in their blue and white tops.

"They look so cute!" She was almost jumping up and down with excitement.

"Calm down baby girl." Morgan put a hand on her shoulder "Let's go and find the others."

They all walked closer to the pitch around a group of people when a voice yelled from not to far away.

"Aunty JJ! Aunty JJ!" Jack was yelling and running towards them in his blue top and black shorts.

JJ turned round just in time to catch the little boy in her arms as he came flying at her.

"Hey buddy." JJ beamed as she swung the boy round and rested him on her hip.

"I'm so glad you came." He wrapped his arms round her neck in utter excitement.

"Jack…" Hotch walked round the large crowd beside them and looked at his son "What did I tell you about running off?" Jack looked down and the ground and mumbled something "Pardon…"

"Don't do it coz it's dangerous." Jack looked up at is father from JJ's arms "Sorry daddy." He said sincerely.

"It's ok." Hotch smiled at his son and ruffled his hair "Coach is looking for you. You're going to start soon."

"Oh!" Jack started to wiggle in JJ's arms to be let down "Ok bye!" Jack made a run towards the group of kids on the grass.

"Come on, Rossi and Emily are over here." Hotch turned and walked off with a smile closely followed by JJ, Garcia, Morgan and Reid.

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><p>He sat in his truck watching and waiting to make his move. He saw her and her friends get out of the car and walk to the pitch. He hated what she had done to his best friend. He had grown up with him and now he was dead because she couldn't keep her tight little ass to herself.<p>

He kept watching and saw a little boy go running into her arms. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. She looked happy and he didn't like it.

He wanted his revenge, to wanted to finish what Walt had started all those months ago. It took a while for him to find her but eventually he did and now it was time.

Mitch just had to find the right moment to strike.

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><p>"Look at them all running round it their little shorts and tiny boots. Don't you just want to smush their tiny little faces?" Garcia squealed as the two team of boys ran after he ball on the field. They were about 5 minutes into the first half and jacks team were already 1 point up.<p>

"I pretty sure any form of smushing is against the law in all 50 states Pen" JJ laughed and Garcia just glared playfully.

"Getting broody mama?" Morgan asked wrapping his hands round Garcia's waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"For you my handsome god? I am always broody." Morgan chuckled at Garcia's normal antics.

"Coffee's up." Rossi called as he and Emily came up behind the group.

"Are you sure you didn't want one Jayje? I can go back." Rossi asked handing out the ones in his hands. He was still worried about the blonde something seemed off but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Emily and JJ shared a look that seemed to go un-noticed by the other members of the team.

"No I'm all coffeed out. I've already had 3 this morning, I'm good with my water." JJ held up the bottle.

"Ok." Rossi smiled but promised himself he was going to keep a closer eye on her.

The BAU all sat in the bleachers watching and cheering for the small team as the game went on except for Hotch who was stood down at the line of the pitch shouting out pointers for the boys to follow.

The ref blew the half time whistle making Garcia jump and a swarm to little boys in little blue tops came running towards the bleachers. They all spotted Jack in the crowd as he stopped next to Hotch. The older man knelt down in front of his son and they talked for a few seconds then Jack wrapped his arms round his fathers neck as they walked over to them.

"JACK!" Morgan yelled as the pair reached the bleachers. Morgan stood up and put jack on his shoulders.

"That was brilliant little G man!" Garcia beamed up at the boy.

"Thanks aunty Pen. Aunty JJ taught me last summer, she said I was really good."

"Yes I did and I stand corrected." Jack looked at JJ a little confused and slightly upset "You weren't really good you were brilliant!" JJ grabbed jack from Morgan and held the little sweaty boy close.

"Thankyou aunty JJ." Jack whispered as he held onto JJ.

The clouds over head rumbled making some of them jump and JJ put Jack down next to his father.

"I'll be back in a minute, I erm…just going to get my jacket."

"I'll get it for you Jayje…" Emily smiled and put her hand out to Morgan to receive the keys.

"Its fine Em, I've got it."

"Sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure, I'll just be over there" JJ pointed towards the cars on the other side of the pitch "You all have a full view of me." JJ smiled at Emily and the rest of the team slightly annoyed but she didn't really mind. It felt good to have someone watching over her.

"Ok.." Morgan chucked the keys to JJ.

Truthfully JJ didn't really need her jacket she wasn't cold. She really wanted to get away for a few minutes. The smell of the coffee was starting to make her morning sickness kick in again and standing still was making her slightly dizzy.

She unlocked the door of the SUV and reached for the bottle of water in the foot well. Just as she was taking a sip her gaze swept over the wing mirror and what she saw made her legs go to jelly, her heart rate to accelerate and her blood to run cold. The bottle slipped from her fingers hitting the ground and emptying onto the concrete.

JJ spun round to meet a set of eyes that joined Walt in her nightmares.

"Got free again I see." He smirked at the fear on JJ's face.

"M…Mitch." JJ's voice shook. She quickly glanced over her shoulder towards the team hoping and praying that they could see something was wrong but they hadn't. They were stood together laughing, not realising JJ was in trouble again.

"That's me little one!" He reached and slid his cold rough fingers over her cheek. JJ placed her hands over her flat stomach to try and protect her unborn baby and she flinched away from his touch.

"Don't touch me…" faster than she could yell for help Mitch lunged towards her and slammed her into the side of the car locking his hand round her throat.

"Oh little one…" He lent forward to her and sniffed her hair taking in her sweet perfume "He wouldn't let me touch you then…" JJ started to struggle against him but he tightened his fingers round her throat and she moved hers to try and pry his hands away "But he's not here to stop me now."

Mitch shifted closer to JJ so she could feel his hot breath on her face and then he came closer and pushed his lips against hers. JJ moved her hands from his and onto his chest. She pushed with everything she had but it wasn't enough, she wasn't strong enough to stop him. His lips moved away from her mouth and down her neck to her pulse point where he kissed and sucked then he moved up to her ear continuing to nibble on her skin.

"No…you can't do this." JJ tried to push again but that was when his free hand made its way up her back and tangled into her hair. Mitch gripped on tight and tipped her head back growling in her ear.

"You can't tell me what to do little girl." Mitch's other hand went from JJ neck to cover her mouth. When her voice was muffled he bit hard on JJ's ear causing her to scream into his hand.

She didn't need a mirror to see that he had broken skin or to see blood dripping down her neck because she could feel it.

"Mmmmm" he stepped back and let go of JJ. She could see blood in his lips and his tongue cleaning it up "You taste good little one. I can see why daddy liked you so much."

"That bustard was not my father." JJ could feel the anger and hate boil in her and couldn't stop herself from snapping at the frightening man.

Mitch raised his fist and punched her hard round the face.

As she fell to the floor JJ's hands went to protect her stomach and not herself. Her head bounced to the concrete car park and caused her head to throb. Everything seemed fuzzy for a second then she was off the ground again and being pulled up by her hair.

"Now" Mitch got right into JJ's face and stared deep into her eyes "I might have thought he was a selfish old fool for keeping you all to himself but know one, not even his dirty little girl talks about Walt like that."

He made a fist again with his right hand and his JJ a few more times round the face and in the chest causing a fib to crack and JJ to let out a whimper of pain.

She couldn't let this happen to her again. She didn't fight back hard enough last time and she wasn't going to make that mistake again. JJ lifted her knee with force until it made direct contact with Mitch's groin. He let go of her hair and crippled over in pain.

JJ tried to move, she tried to run but her legs wouldn't have any of it and she knew if she ran she would fall to the floor. So she did the next best thing she could think of.

"HELP!" JJ screamed with as much force as her bruised body would allow and considering the beating she had just gotten it was extremely loud.

JJ didn't get a chance to yell again or look round to make sure the team had heard her because Mitch was off the floor and coming at her with a bright red angry face.

"You stupid whore!" He growled. He back handed JJ again and her wobbly legs collapsed underneath her. JJ didn't have time to protect herself as Mitch's steal toe boots made forced contact with her flat stomach.

JJ choked out a gasp as pain radiated through her body. He did it again a few more times until JJ managed to roll her self into a ball protecting herself so he moved on to the rest of her body. JJ's back, legs, head and any other part he could get to.

"JJ!"

Mitch stopped kicking the almost unconscious blonde when he heard someone yelling. He turned round towards the soccer pitch to see 5 people running towards then all with guns in their hands.

He cursed and pulled JJ up by her hair causing a small gasp of pain to come from the blonde. He rested her facing away against his chest using her as a shield and pulled out the glock he had tucked in his belt.

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><p><strong>AN... SOOOOOOO... now there is the answer to the question people keep asking me. HES BACK! what did you think? is it ok?**

**getting there all you beautiful people please bare with me!**

**AJ xx **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N I managed to get a little free time so i wrote this and i thought i would post it for you all. I hope you like it and it lives up to standered.**

**This fic is NOT over yet!...**

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><p>"Is JJ ok? She looked a bit green?" Rossi asked the group but was watching JJ walk away.<p>

Morgan was about to reassure Rossi that everything was ok when Reid spoke first.

"She didn't look too good this morning and she had a temperature."

"Kid, how do you know that?" Morgan asked with a raised eyebrow

"When I hugged her, she was hotter than normal and she was sweating slightly." The whole team including little jack gave Reid an odd look "What? I notice these things with you guys."

"Is she sick?" Garcia asked worry evident in her voice.

Morgan put a hand on her shoulder. Don't worry baby girl I'm sure JJ just has a bug or something."

"When I'm sick daddy makes me soup and reads me stories. Will you read auntie JJ stories?" Jack asked innocently.

"Yeah buddy." Morgan bent down to Jacks level "I'll read her Cinderella."

"NO! Auntie JJ hates Cinderella! Her favourite is the dragon king I have at home… and you call yourself a profiler." Jack shook his head, tuted and folded his arms.

The whole team burst out laughing at Jack little statement, in those few moments he look so much like his father it was scary.

"I'll get you for that you little monster." Morgan lunged forward and scooped jack into his arm.

"Help me daddy!" Jack squalled as Morgan held him in one arm and tickled him with his free hand.

"Take it back and I'll stop!" Morgan held tight to the squirming boy so he didn't drop him but didn't stop his tickle attack.

Hotch, Emily, Rossi, Garcia and Reid watched on with laughs and smiles as Morgan and Jack messed around. Garcia pulled her camera from her big brightly coloured bag and started snapping pictures.

"No! I'll n…never ta…take it bac…back." Jack said through his giggles.

"Then I'll keep going for ever." Morgan used his best bad guy voice and let out a bad guy laugh like in the movies.

"OK! Ok I take it ba…back!" Jack could hardly breathe but he had a massive smile on his face.

"Take what back? Say it?" Morgan slowed down his assault but didn't stop.

"You're the best profiler in the world! Pl…please st…st…stop." Jack gasped though the last giggles.

"Much better." he put the small boy down and he ran straight to his father "why didn't you save me?" Jack asked sticking his bottom lip out playing with his father. Jack knew his dad would stop the world to save jack.

"Because it was too much fun to watch." Hotch tickled jack a little…

"HELP!"

"What the…" Morgan said. They all instantly had a sinking feeling in their gut and turned towards JJ just as an unknown man hit her round the face.

"JJ!" Emily ran followed by Morgan, Reid and Rossi.

Hotch handed jack to Garcia and looked at the boy.

"Stay with auntie Pen. Ok?"

"Yes daddy. Go." Jack pushed his father away and he pulled out his weapon and joined the others running across the field.

"JJ!" Morgan yelled he saw her being repeatedly kicked. They all watching the man turn and see them, then turn back and grab JJ.

By the time the 5 BAU members reached JJ and the unknown man she was being held up by her neck and had the barrel of the gun pressed against her temple.

"Let Agent Jareau go and lower your weapon." Rossi said in a stern voice. The team didn't have to say anything, they all knew that Rossi was the best negotiator in the team so let him do most of the talking.

"Now why would I let such a pretty little thing go?" Mitch sniffed at JJ's hair sending disgusted shivers through the teams body. It that's what it felt like to watch imaged what it felt like to be on the receiving end of it. JJ was pulling and scratching at his hand but he wouldn't let go and he wouldn't let up, she was finding it harder and harder to breath, feeling weaker by the second.

Emily had her gun raised at the mans head, her eyes met with JJ's scared ones and a glance that lasted a second said so many words. She could see the fear in JJ and a hand resting on her stomach, no Emily was wrong it wasn't resting it was clutching JJ's stomach like she hurt.

There was another man trying to hurt JJ and Emily knew it couldn't be a coincidence. She raked her brain for answers. 'Why the hell is it always JJ, I swear to god I'm going to lock her in a padded cell when…' with the word cell going through her mind it came to her. Emily knew who this man was.

"Nobody has to get hurt anymore…" Rossi was trying to talk the man down when Emily interrupted him.

"Its you isn't it." JJ blinked in relief and the BAU men looked at Emily in confusion and quickly one by one they understood what she meant "You're the man behind the camera. The one that was in there with that monster" Emily spat the last few words with complete anger and hate.

"Very good Agent Prentiss but he wasn't a monster at all, he was just talking what belonged to him."

"JJ never belonged to him or anyone else." Morgan growled but Mitch ignored his words.

He pulled JJ closer to him "Walt wouldn't let me have a go at her in that bunker and now I have my chance none of you are going to get in my way." Mitch took a few steps back causing the BAU members to take a few forward. They refused to loose JJ again, to let her go through hell again.

The police had arrived on scene and were pushing the crowed that formed back. Garcia was standing at the police tape with jack in her arms. He had his head in the crook of her neck crying. For such a little boy he had known death like no one should, he didn't want to loose someone he cared about again. Garcia stood there with tears running down her cheeks and rubbing small comforting circles into Jacks back. She always knew how much danger her family were in when they went on a case but this was different this was right in front of her and she was watching it unfold with her own eyes.

"So you're going to put your weapons away and I'm going to take little Shelby here on a road trip. Oh wait you don't call her that now do you? No its….ah that's it its JJ. You know little one…" Mitch shook JJ to make sure she was listening "Walt always complained about how much he hated that name. He said it made you sound like a boy and he didn't like his sweet beautiful little girl to be seen like that."

"I was never his little girl…" JJ spat out as best she could with a hand round her throat.

"How many times you little whore! Be nice!" He tightened his hand round her neck and she struggled.

"N…no." JJ choked out and struggled more, trying to twist her self away from.

"JJ stop!" Rossi yelled at her to stop JJ from fighting and getting herself hurt even more but JJ didn't listen. She wasn't going to stand there and let her baby die.

"Quit struggling bitch!" In Mitch's anger he push the barrel of the gun into her lower back and that was the last straw for JJ's body.

Just as she felt the pressure in her back she felt a new pain a more powerful pain radiating across her lower abdomen. Her knees buckled from under and has Mitch didn't have an extremity tight grip on JJ in that second her kneed hit the dirt. It was again a second where everything slowed down.

Mitch looked down at the fallen blonde in shock and moved his gun towards her.

Hotch, Rossi and Reid took advantage of JJ being on the ground to take 1 shot each. Reid's hit Mitch in the left side of his chest, Rossi's in his right shoulder and Hotch shot his through the mans head killing him instantly.

Morgan and Emily lowered their weapons and moved to JJ.

Time speed up again and the moment the two reached JJ they had her pulled to her feel and moving her over to the grass. Hotch called two officers over to deal with the body and went to join the others by JJ. Garcia reached them just as Hotch did.

She was leaning against Morgan with Emily's arm round her waist a hand resting on her stomach unconsciously protecting he best friends baby.

"JJ…" Hotch asked. He could see that she was in pain.

Her whole body hurt felt like it was on fire but the feeling in her stomach was more intense. JJ's breath hitched in her throat and she thought her heart had stopped.

"ARRRR" even with Emily's and Morgan's arms round her JJ could no longer hold her weigh up. Her knees collapsed and she hit the floor brining her friends down with her. She clutched her stomach praying that the pain would stop.

"JJ what is it, what hurts?" Hotch knelt down in front of her.

"Maybe she ruptured something." Reid interjected listing of possible causes in his head.

"GET ME A PARAMEDIC NOW!" Morgan shouted as Reid's words set a new fear into him.

"I'm… I…ARRRR" JJ crumpled over into herself further trying to make it lessen. It was only at the thought of loosing her baby that JJ had realised that she did in fact want to keep it. In some way she had already grown attached to the unborn child.

"Ok princess their coming." Morgan kissed the top of her head.

"JJ is it…" Emily started to ask as JJ looked up at her. JJ nodded a single beat and Emily knew what might be happening; she closed her eyes and prayed it wasn't true.

JJ sat up a little and looked up into her boss's eyes.

"I'm…" She groaned "I'm pre…pregnant." JJ let out a painful shaky breath.

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><p><strong>AN... WELL? what d'ya think? haha sorry but really how was it?**

**a slight cliffhanger but i thought it was ok. I only have a few chapters left planned than were all done :o(**

**AJ xx **


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N I have a question for you at the end. please help me out with it.**

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><p>The BAU members were stood talking to the Doctor about JJ and the injured she had sustained. Once they all knew JJ was going to be ok Emily asked the next question that was about to roll of everyone else's tongues.<p>

"And the baby?"

The doctor shook his head "I'm sorry there was nothing we could do to save it."

Tears filled every eye in the room even the doctors. He hated talking to the families not because he thought he was better than them like some doctors but because he hated giving them bad news and watching them break down.

"No." Garcia collapsed into Morgan's arms and they both cried.

The doctor continued to talk to the still standing members, he wasn't sure if any of them were listening but he would give it a go.

"The injuries caused a lot of internal bruising to a lot of her body but mostly her lower stomach and that along with the lack of air, the trauma she has sustained as well as the stress of the last few months." The Doctor had read JJ's medical history after he did his first lot of tests on JJ "Her body couldn't talk the strain of a child. I'm really sorry."

Emily and Reid were staring off into space trying not to breakdown but Reid couldn't hold it any longer and collapsed onto a chair next to him and cried into his hands. Everything was too much for his brain to put together. There was too much information to go in and it hurt too much to know that JJ was hurting all over again because they let the monsters get to her again.

Emily just stood doing nothing but slightly shaking. Her eyes were filled with tears but they didn't seem to fall and her completion was as white as the doctor's jacket.

Morgan had managed to stop crying but still stayed on the floor gently rocking a hysterical Garcia. The anger in his eyes was frightening and if either Walt or Mitch were alive in that moment he would stop at nothing to make them pay for what they did to JJ.

When he first found out Morgan couldn't grasp the idea of a baby coming out of all that had happened but he promised he would stand by JJ with whatever she decided to do. He silently promised himself he would love the baby like it were his own and would protect the child and JJ with his life.

The last few hours were more than Garcia could handle. When the doctor said JJ lost the baby she felt her legs instantly turn to Jelly and it felt like her heart stopped beating. At first the idea of JJ being pregnant seemed to haunt her but as she thought about it Garcia realised it wasn't the babies' fault how it was conceived and if JJ could accept it then so could she and Garcia had. She was just starting to get used to the idea of being an aunty again. She was going to spoil this one like it was her own and now she couldn't. JJ had lost her innocent baby, the only good thing that would have come out her best friend's hell and there was nothing left of that. So Garcia cried for her friend and the new family member they just lost.

Hotch and Rossi felt like breaking down inside much like the other members of the team. It hurt so much to know JJ thought she couldn't tell them, they both knew why she didn't but it didn't stop it from hurting. And now she was all alone in a hospital hurting. To the both men JJ was not just a friend to them she was like a daughter.

They wanted to cry, to be angry and lash out at someone or something but they couldn't they were the bosses had to hold it together for the others.

Hotch took a deep breath to steady his shaking nerves.

"Thankyou doctor." Hotch held out his hand to shake the doctors and the men shook politely.

Garcia was starting to calm a little and she and Morgan got of the floor.

"Can we see my buttercup?" Garcia asked the doctor.

"Soon I imagine. She is asking to only see Emily for now. It's all she is asking. We struggled to get her to answer any of our questions." Everyone paused and looked at Emily who was still staring into space not hearing the conversation round her.

"Cupcake…" Garcia asked but got no reply.

"Princess…" Morgan put a hand on Emily's shoulder but again nothing.

"Emily…" Rossi said a little louder but still Emily made no movement or acknowledged that they were talking to her.

"Prentiss!" Hotch almost yelled which seemed to work.

"Sorry…what?" Emily shook the cobwebs out of her head and looked at the group confused.

"You zoned out for a while there, you ok?" Morgan asked with his hand still on her shoulder.

"Yeah I'm fine." She turned to the doctor "Can we see JJ?"

"She's asking for you." The doctor smiles at the brunette.

"Let's go then." Emily stepped forward expecting everyone to follow.

"She only wants to see you Emily." Rossi gave her a sad smile.

"Oh…" That worried Emily slightly but she would ask JJ when she got in the room.

"Tell her we love her ok and…and that we could never hate her…ever." Garcia whispered as more tears trickled down her cheek.

Emily nodded and followed the doctor down the cold white and light blur corridor.

The doctor stopped at a door and tipped his head letting Emily know that she was at the right room. She gave him a soft smile and he left her standing there just looking at it, not moving, nothing; just staring at the door.

She tried to picture the state JJ was not in. the last time she stood outside a door like this; had a horrible feeling in her chest was the day JJ was taken into hospital after Walt had gotten a hold of her.

Emily knew JJ would look broken and she would be hurting. She had to prepare herself for what she was about to see.

With a deep breath Emily walked forward.

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><p>She was gone; the only person she felt comfortable with at that moment in time was gone. Emily let go of her hand and it was replaced but the cold hand of a nurse.<p>

"EMILY!" JJ choked out as loud she could and tried to push herself up of the bed. She didn't get very far when a set of hands pushed her back down and agonizing pain shot through her stomach.

"Its ok Miss your going to me ok. Can you tell me your name?"

JJ could feel hands touching her body and hands moving over her stomach; hands on her arms and on her legs. She could feel the panic rising up and closed her eyes as tight as she could, trying to block it all out; the people, the noise and most of all the pain.

The nurse kept trying to talk to her but JJ just kept her eyes closed telling herself to breath and that everything would be ok. She and the baby would be ok. JJ was telling that to herself but deep down she knew she was far from the truth.

After about 20 minutes of prodding and poking the hands seemed to disappear and the pain seemed to lessen. JJ slowly opened her eyes and looked round the room. She could see a doctor and a few nurses talking at the end of her bed. She was in a white hospital gown with a few bandages on and wires coming from her.

"Hi there Jennifer I'm Dr. Bricks." The man in the white coat said "How are you feeling?"

"Please I want to get out of here, I want to go home, Emily where's Emily?" JJ rattled off words.

"You can't go home just yet Jennifer we need to keep you in for a few days."

"Why what's wrong?" JJ started to panic and the Doctor could see it from the monitor's attached to JJ.

"Jennifer you need to calm down for me ok, a few deep breaths."

"No please tell me what's wrong, is it my baby, is my baby ok? Please tell me my baby is ok!" The look on the doctor's face told JJ everything she needed to know "No…" She whispered.

"I'm sorry…"

"It doesn't hurt anymore, are you sure? Please check again please!" She raised her voice as much as she could through her painful throat.

"I'm sorry." The doctor just shook his head.

"No." JJ begged and pleaded.

"I'm sorry you're miscarrying as we speak. The reason you aren't in any pain is because we have given you a very strong pain medication…" He watched JJ pull her knees up to her chest and sob into them "I'm so sorry Jennifer." He had read JJ's fine and seen everything she had been through over the last few months and giving her the bad news just felt like he was kicking someone when they were down.

He let JJ cry for a few minutes rubbing circles in here back.

"Is there anyone of anything I can get for you? A nurse told me you have family in the waiting room, shall I go and get them."

"Emily please I want Emily." JJ didn't look up.

"Ok" He got up and left.

JJ heard the door click closed but she didn't care that she was on her own; nothing seemed to matter because her baby was gone, her baby was dead and it was all her fault.

It took a while but JJ's tears did stop and she just sat there not moving barley breathing, just surviving on the edge or breaking. A knock at her door made her jump and a few seconds later the brunette she wanted was standing in the room. Emily looked how JJ felt. She had tears in her eyes, her hair was a state and her skin matched the tone of the walls.

"Jayje…" Emily whispered not moving from the door.

With that simple word JJ broke down again. In just a few large steps Emily was sat by JJ's side holding her in her arms.

"It's gone Em. My babies gone…" JJ cried harder.

"I know Jayje." Emily whispered running her fingers through JJ's blonde hair as tears ran down her cheeks "I know."

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><p><strong>AN... Ok you beautiful, amazing people i have one chapter left and then thats it. :(**

**What did you think of this one. it makes my day when you let me know! and plus you get good karma!**

**Right question time! I have 2 ideas i really like for my next Fic's but i dont know which to start with. i will write both just which one first?**

**1. A JJ/Henry/Jack story but it will have the whole team in. It'll be rated T and will have something to do with the 3 of them being trapped somewhere (im not going to give it away)**

**2. A Emily/Jack story. again but it will have the whole team. It'll be rated T and have something to do with them being in danger and needing to get somewhere safe. **

**So what do you think about the too but please dont forget to review :D**

**AJ xx **


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N So this is it! my last chapter *wipes away tear*. i hope you've had as much fun reading it as i have writing it.**

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><p>It took a bit of time and a lot of soft gentle words but Emily did eventually manage to calm JJ.<p>

Emily was sitting back on the bed and JJ was lying down next to her with her blonde head resting on Emily's jean covered leg. They were both just quietly thinking when JJ whispered.

"Do they hate me?"

Emily stopped running her fingers through JJ's hair shocked.

"What?"

"The team, do they hate me?"

"Why would they hate you Jayje?"

"Because I lied to them, I didn't tell them about the baby." JJ sat up wincing slightly.

"No Jayje. They don't hate you." Emily noticed the pain expression on JJ's face "You ok?" Emily sat up more alert.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, you look like you in pain."

"They meds are wearing on, my chest and stomach hurt." JJ winced more and held on to her stomach "The doctor said it will be sore for a few days."

The cramps in her stomach were going from a dull ache to the sharp stabbing/cramping pain she had at the beginning.

Emily's phone starting ringing in her pocket making JJ jump out of her skin and look round panicked.

"It's ok Jayje it's just me…" Emily put a reassuring hand on JJ's shoulder as she answered her phone "Prentiss…Hang on for me" Emily turned to JJ "Its Hotch, he wants to talk to me; I'll be right outside the door. Is that ok?"

JJ thought for a second. On one hand she felt safe when Emily was round and she seemed to make things better for a little but on the other JJ hated depending on someone and the fact that she was taking up Emily's free time. Emily Had told JJ that she would rather be there for her than not the same as the rest of the team but it wasn't the point. JJ hated seeming too weak to look after herself.

"Sure." JJ gave Emily a tight smile.

"Ok." Emily put the phone to her ear "I'll be right out." Emily got of the bed and let go of JJ's hand that she didn't realise she was still holding "I'll be right back."

Emily walked out the door to see not only Hotch standing there but the rest of the team too.

"How is she?" Garcia asked worried.

"erm…" Emily looked back at the door she came through wondering if she should tell them the truth of just sugar coat it but seeing as most of them were profilers and the other was one of her best friends she knew they could tell if she was lying "She's upset, scared, angry, the pain meds are starting to wear off so she's hurting, and I don't know how to help her." Emily sighed.

"Can we see her?" Reid asked finding his shoes very interesting.

"I don't know…She's scared that you all hate her and your all mad at her for not talking to you…" Emily continued as Garcia was about to argue "I know you don't think or feel any of those things but its what that bastard did to her head Pen.."

"She needs to realise that we would never hate her no matter what." Rossi said in his deep voice.

"Will you ask her princess?"

"Sure…" Emily walked back into JJ's room.

JJ was curled up on the bed with a far away look in her eyes.

"Jayje…" JJ jumped when Emily called her name from the door way "Sorry I didn't meant to scare you. Are you sure you don't want any more pain meds, I'll go find the doctor." Emily sat on the bed.

"No, I'm ok. What did Hotch want?" JJ asked

"They were wondering if you're ok and if they could come in and see you…" Emily said with caution. She saw the panic in JJ's eyes.

"I…I'm n…not…" JJ started shaking slightly.

"Jayje, its ok, they don't hate you. Their worried about you, we all are."

"Really?" JJ sniffed still not sure.

"Really, can I go get them?"

JJ didn't say anything just sat up slowly and nodded. Emily gave JJ a comforting and reassuring smile and went to the door.

She wanted to see them she really did. JJ loved the team and saw them as her family especially after the last year and a half but she still had the feeling in the pit of her stomach that if she did something wrong they would abandon her like everyone else and she didn't know if she could deal with that hurt.

There was a gentle knock on the door and Emily walked in and went to sit in one of the chairs by JJ's bed closely followed by a cautious looking Garcia and Reid then Morgan, Hotch and lastly Rossi who closed the door behind him. They all stood there waiting for JJ's reaction wither it be good or bad.

JJ gave them a small tight smile waiting for one of them to say something.

"How you doing Bella." JJ warmed slightly when Rossi used that name for her.

"I'm sorry…" JJ whispered as her eyes filled once again with tears.

"You have nothing to be sorry for JJ."

"I do… I should have told you, should have said about the baby but I was scared you would hate me if I got rid of it and then I was scared you would hate me if I kept it too and now I don't have the chance because its gone my babies gone because I didn't fight hard enough again and…"

"JJ stop…" Rossi moved out of the group still standing by the door and went to sit on the edge of the bed taking her hands in his. He was getting worried about the blonde again as she was starting to hyperventilate and panic "Take some deep breaths you're starting to panic…" She did as she was told "Now you listen to me Bella. None of this is any of your fault." JJ went to argue with the profiling legend "No. It's not your fault. Walt hurt you when you were a child and he has kept doing it ever since. He preyed on you because he knew you were too small to fight back and then you became too scared of him and what he would do to you or your sister. Ok? You couldn't stop him it was his choice. Not yours. You did what you had to do to survive." Tears slid down JJ's cheeks as well as Garcia's and Emily's.

"Sorry…" JJ wiped away her tears but Rossi grabbed her wrists and stopped her.

"And stop saying sorry. It's ok to cry and to be hurting. Your baby was taken away from you by someone that wanted to hurt you like your step father." He sighed hating how much JJ was hurting again "You were going to keep it weren't you" it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah…" JJ whispered looking down at her lap confirming what Rossi and silently Hotch thought "It wasn't until today at the thought of loosing it that I realised I did want the baby. It was my baby" a single tear slid from her eye.

Hotch, Morgan, Reid and Garcia made them self's comfy round the room knowing JJ wasn't going to kick them out now.

"I thought that maybe something good could come out of this whole nightmare but now that's gone too." JJ sobbed the last word and Rossi pulled her into a tight hug hoping he wouldn't hurt her but knowing she needed to be healed and comforted.

"You know JJ" Hotch said after a few minutes of Rossi holding JJ. She looked up and over to her boss "If it will make you feel better we forgive you…" Hotch smiled when he saw relief fills JJ's eyes.

"But…" Garcia put her hand on JJ's back "There isn't really anything to forgive."

"Thankyou." JJ smiled "All of you, I don't think I would have been able to do any of this with out all of you."

"Anytime princess." Morgan smiled at JJ.

The conversation changed to more of a happy talk about Jack and what they were going to do the next weekend when they all had time off. They all agreed that if the weather was nice they would go to Rossi's beach house and spend some time together.

"Guys shhhh" Emily said as they all started laughing. They all turned to see JJ sleeping with her head rested on Rossi's shoulder with a slight smile on her face.

Maybe just maybe they had saved the woman they saw as a daughter or sister. Maybe with a little time she could be the woman they used to know again.

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><p><strong>AN... Its so sad its finshed. give me a few months and some time to write other Fic's and i might to a one-shot at about a year after this chapter. im not sure. **

**In regards to the question i asked in the last chapter it looks like a lot of you want to to write the JJ/Henry/jack story so that is what i'll do first. it will be about 5-6 chapters long but i go on holiday for a few weeks tomorrow so i'll start it when i get back. **

**Thankyou so so so much to all of you who have read this and cyber hust to thoes of you that have left me lovely reviews. you have no idea how happy it makes me happy top read all of them.**

**AJ xxxxxxxxx**


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